New here--need support

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/19/2009 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello all. Well, my name is Melissa and I need some support. I have never been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but have suspected I have it after googling some symptoms a couple weeks ago. When I read about it, I felt mine was of the mild variety, my life was going along and I'm still in school. I just get occasional bouts of fatigue, achiness, and feverishness.
Well, yesterday, I had a very bad episode and it was not pleasant at all. After my last class at 2:30, I started getting progressively more tired and my stomach had been acting up something awful. And then the pain. All over my body, like a white heat throughout my entire body. My legs were so stiff and painful, my face looked like death, I couldn't even turn my neck to look at the tv to check the time. My hips hurt as well, and my tail bone, which made it hard to sit, which I had to for four hours because that's when my bf picks me up. Everything hurt, everything was sore, especially my knees. And I was very cold and felt extremely feverish. When my bf felt my head after he picked me up (he was half an hour late, the longest 30 mins. of my life...), he said I felt pretty normal, a little warm, but no fever. I was so frustrated. mad   My body hurt so bad and I could feel the fever in my body--I didn't understand it at all. Also, my TMJ really acted up too (just a total body flare up!) and I had the worst headache/jaw pain of my life. I've been dealing with TMJ since I was 12.
When I got home, I limped to the bathroom, took some Advil, which helped some and soaked in a warm bath. My bf is sweet but frustrating. "Aren't you getting your period?" "You were up pretty late..." "You did some intense cardio last night..." I've done all these things before but never felt this bad in my life, unless I had the flu, and even then, the pain wasn't as searing as yesterday's. He's also the tough love type: If he ignores me, I'll stop trying to get attention, which he never says I am doing, but I can tell he thinks it. Like when I got out of the tub, I just laid on the floor because I just couldn't hold myself up. He didn't even look up or try to help. He just non-chalantly said, "You ok, babe?" "Yeah, I'm fine..." rolleyes
But he is trying to understand, and I can't fault him because I seem pretty fine, other than my extreme tiredness and saggy face, I look pretty healthy. He did stay up and rub my tummy and back til I fell asleep and today he is going to get some heating pads. I just wish he'd try to be more punctual...but that's for another day.
So, does anyone know what I'm talking about? Does this sound like fibromyalgia? Has anyone felt this? It all just hit me like a ton of bricks and I don't wanna live this way--I want a life. Will it go away? And for how long? Right now, I'm feeling a little better and so I'm gonna go and finally get the dishes done. Thanks for listening to my rant :-)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/19/2009 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Melissa,

Sorry you're feeling so rotten.  Remember, it is flu season and you could have a bug that's messing with you. 

Yeah, we know alot about fibromyalgia around here.  The first thing most of the members would tell you is, you'll need a have a bunch of tests done to rule other nasty diseases.  Like, Lyme Disease, MS, Lupus, RA and about another 50, or so, illnesses.  So my first suggestion is get yourself to a doctor as soon as you can.  It usually takes at least three months for an acurate diagnoses.  There are some doctors out there that don't "beleive in" Fibro.  If you have a good Dr. that you can talk to that really helps.

Fibro is a life long syndrome, it usually starts with women (but men can get it too, but not as often as women do) during your childbaring years.. so sometime after puberty (SP?).  If you do wind up having fibro, the symptoms are different with everyone.  But once you've got it.. you've got it forever.  There's no cure for Fibromyalgia.  The medical industry doesn't totally understand it and until then, I assume, there won't be a cure.  Some folks can live a very normal life, some can't.  Most of us suffer from chronic pain, fatigue, brain fog and lots of muscle aches.

There's lots of information on the second thread of this forum, call Fibro 101.  I've really learned a lot from that section.  You should check that out.  Do your research and check with a medical professional.  Another suggestion is to keep a brief diary of your symptoms.

Take care and I hope you don't have Fibro.  We're always here to help and answer questions.

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 2/19/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Melissa,

I hope by this time that you are feeling better. There are some really  nasy viruses out there right now that could cause this problem. It does take a long time to get a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. Do be sure to see a doctor that can begin to rule out other things. If your doctor is not one who actually believes in Fibromyalgia then find one who does because it is a real disease. Hopefully your boyfriend will be more understanding. If  you do have Fibro then educate yourself and him as much as you can. This site is wonderful and the people are understanding and that's what you need if you have this. Take care of yourself and keep us posted.



Degenerative disc disease,osteoarthritis, status post 4 cervical spinal surgeries with plate insertions and fusion, Lupus, Sjogren's Disease, Fibromyalgia, chronic heacaches and chronic pain.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 2/19/2009 8:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa,
Yeah, it sounds a lot like Fibro, especially with your TMJ involvement. That's a classic red flag. I have that too.
Have you seen your doctor about this? There are some good treatments out there that could help you. It's important to rule out any other disease/disorder too.  Fibro mimicks a lot of other autoimmune diseases like Lupus.
I hope your night goes better too.  The warm baths are a great start!
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 2/19/2009 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Tell your bf to knock off the tough love bit and gather a little sympathy for pete's sake. You just hit a nerve with me. I am staying with my daughter this week who is going through a bad bout of depression (she has a long history of it. We all do in the family. Chemical depression) Anyway, her bf tries that tough love bit with her and I want to clobber him. Your mate has to have sympathy whether you have depression, fibro, lupus or the common cold. I know there are malingerers out there, but a mate needs to be sensitive and supportive, not antagonistic. I feel for you and your pain honey. Hang in there, you are probably having a flare and you will get over it.

If it continues, then go see a doctor to help you. Don't suffer and do complain as much as you want. It relieves the stress and I for one, am here to listen. Count on that!!

Gentle hugs,

Moderator Chronic Pain
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 2/20/2009 1:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa, I hope you don't have Fibro but it does kinda sound like it could be.  You are so fortunate that you have found this forum.  It will help you through you dx & learning to live with Fibro.  If it isn't Fibro then there are other forums here but you are welcome to come here as often as you like.  I really like the people here, they do care about you.  As far as tough love goes, it's fine if it is given right along with care, love & concern.  There is a difference between tough love & being just tough or indifferent.  Welcome to this wonderful forum.  Many hugs, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxiety

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren

As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/20/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa,

Welcome! I am so glad you found us and started asking questions-that's the first step in getting a diagnosis. Read up, ask questions, and see your doctor! It definitely sounds like you may have fibro, but like Ginny said, some other things will have to be ruled out first (I've been tested for everything under the sun..) Unfortunately, there isn't really a 100% fool proof way of diagnosing fibro, so it's more ruling other things out and going from there. It is a time consuming process, though (it took me 3 years to get a diagnosis and I know others have gone even longer than that), but I do sincerely hope it doesn't take long for you! Even though there is no cure for fibro, there are meds out there that can help and sometimes just knowing what to call what is going on in your body is a tremendous relief.

I also agree with Patti-please check out the Fibro 101 thread. There is a wonderful symptom check list there that you can print out and take to your Dr.

Again-welcome! Please keep coming and asking questions as you feel comfortable. This is a warm, welcoming place filled with wonderful people-it feels like family around here! :-)
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 2/20/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Melissa,
A man here. Your bf jsut does not know how to react to you when you are sick or hurt. We need to be taught this. Men are fixers and not good at the sympathy part. Men tend to withdraw and if we are needed to do something we need you to tell us. If you say you are okay we expect that to mean you do not need anything from us. Teach him how to help you because he has no idea. We need specifics, even if it is just to sit and listen.
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/20/2009 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa and welcome. We have other members that don't have a dx yet either but everyone is welcome. When looking for a doctor ask straight out if they believe in fibro and treat it, the receptionist probably won't know this so ask to talk to the doc's nurse. No sense in wasting your time and money on someone that is not going to help you.
I get the burning pain when we are having a weather change sometimes or if I'm really stressed out. I know it's really weird how it can spread over our bodies in no time. Keep a journal of when these flares are occuring and what is going on in your life when they occur and watch the weather to see if it is changing when it happens. Something about the barometric pressure sets them off.
Hang with us and we will do all we can to help you get through this whole process.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/20/2009 8:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa and Welcome-
Can relate to your TMJ, have had it for as long as I can remember. Everyone has given great advice and hope you start to feel a little better soon!
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 2/20/2009 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Melissa!

I second what most people have said regarding the dr. It took me years to find out that it was Fibro and not something else, like Lupus. It is going to be trying because they may say that your tests come back "normal," that's ok, we have all been there. Try your best not to get discouraged. At least you know that Fibro exists. For most, at least myself, I was being tested for who knows what and didn't know about it until my mom found an article and said "this sounds like you." After 4 tests at the gastroenterologist, he referred me to a rhuematologist and my first visit I was diagnosed. I had kept a journal from the DAY i knew i was going to the rhuemy. It helped him really figure out what I was experiencing and when. Also, after the diagnosis, a huge weight was lifted and i think it is half the battle. Since then, i have started to watch what i eat, i have figured out that i am gluten sensitive and i have really educated myself about what things are helpful and what things arent. I just want to say that it is managable, but it is going to take work. Also, what works for some, doesnt work for others. I have a horrible sensation to alcohol and drugs. I am only on one night medicine to sleep deeper. I am not on any pain pills and try my best not to take them. I guess I try and do things more natural because of how sensitive i am. However, there are a lot of different drugs or 'cocktails" that could work for you.

You will be able to have a life. It may not be the one you dreamed of and you may grieve a bit (i did) but first thing is first, talk to a doc.

As far as your b/f, i know my husband got extremely discouraged with me in the beginning of our relationship because i was always tired or couldnt follow through with our plans. I hadn't been diagnosed at that point but knew something was wrong. Things got so much better after i was diagnosed because we knew what we were up against and we could get educated. I made him read a book on it (after i read it and liked it) and i think that REALLY helped him. Also, there is the spoon theory (in the 101 thread i believe) that i sent to my friends and family. That really helped them understand. My best friend said it would be hard to get used to the new me. I had to explain that i was still the same person that was her best friend and still would LOVE to do the things i used to, but i am coming to terms with knowing that it will take more planning and more energy saving to do them. Both the husband and the best friend have been doing great.

I hope that this is not fibro for you, but if it is, we are all here and know what you're going through.

Happy Friday!
24. Diagnosed with Fibro in Aug. 08 and Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder in December 08. Gluten free since Nov. 08.
Surgeries: Compartment Syndrome/Medial Tibial Stress Syndrome Dec. 05; Lap Nissen Fundoplacation Aug 06; Exploratory Lap Feb. 08.
Played college soccer. Going back to school to be a Registered Dietitian.
"I control the disease, it does not control me."

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/20/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   


I am a new member and recently diagnosed with fibro and rheumatoid arthritis. This is actually my first post. But your bf thing hit home with me. My husband and I are separated right now which as a result of my recent diagnosis although he would not admit that. He does not understand how I could have had this for so long or the excrutiating pain I am in sometimes. Fibro is very hard not only on the the person with the disease but those around you. I would go through testing if this episode happens again. The other thing is flu typically comes with a high fever but really only a doctor can tell you what is wrong. If you have insurance where you dont need a referral a rheumotalogist (not sure of spelling) is the quickest more direct route in my opinion. I hope and pray you do not have fibro although once I was diagnosed I was so happy that what I had had a name cause I thought I was crazy. Good Luck.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17529
   Posted 2/20/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Melissa, and welcome!  I hope you are planning on seeing your doctor.  Let them know exactly how you feel and what is happening.  It could be the flu or it could be several other things.  Fibromyalgia mimics other illnesses.  In the Fibro 101 thread there is a link to "What else could this be".  You want to rule out those other illnesses first.  That is very important.  But, yes, this could very well be fibro.
Read the Fibro 101 thread and back posts.  There is a lot of good information in them.  Also, please let us know what your doctor has to say.  We really do care!
Also, welcome, Louise!  You will find a lot of great help here, too.  Read, read, read, and ask questions and someone usually has a tip to help you.  Hope to hear more from both of you!

Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 2/20/2009 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Louise,

It is nice to meet you. Please feel free to post often, you will find alot of comfort here. I am sorry to hear about your husband. I hope once the shock is over he will be able to find his way back to you. Stress can cause us to flare & cause our pain to increase. I know it is hard to relax because of all you are going through but please, come here & let us carry some of your burdon. I hope to get to know you better. Many soft hugs, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxiety

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren

As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/20/2009 8:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all! Thanks for responding and offering your support! To answer some questions, I did make a doctor's appointment but it's not until March 24th. She's supposed to be really good so I can wait a little while longer if it meas seeing a good doctor. I've begun writing down all my symptoms and everything I would like to discuss with her. I'm also trying to go to sleep a little later, which means no more midnight cardio workouts:)

Also, I talked to my boyfriend last night and we had a very good talk on why he acts this way. I asked him why he won't believe me and he said he understands full well my views and why I would feel this way. He says that his mom went through the same thing for three years. She was in and out of the doctor's office because she wasn't right, but they told her it was all in her head. Then they found breast cancer. So he knows full well not to take these things lightly and that it's always important to listen. He just doesn't want to acknowledge my concerns with his concerns because it might worry me and mostly, it might worry him. So he tries to find other, less serious things it could be, to put both our minds at ease. I told him I understood and appreciate his efforts, but told him sometimes I just need him to listen to me and support me so I can for once have someone believe when I say I don't feel right. He agreed, hugged me good and that wa that. He's a great man and I'm lucky to have him by my side.

Everyone's responses were very helpful and I'm happy to report that after a hot bath last night, I'm feeling much better and was able to get things done. Does anyone ever have short flareups? Is that possible? Or could this be something else? Thanks again all! HUGS!!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 2/20/2009 10:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa!

Glad you and your sweetie are able to talk...even if he still is having trouble "getting it". Like suggested already, you need to get to a doc who can give you a diagnosis so you know what you are up against for sure. It's likely fibromyalgia but it's possible that it's something else also. Some people start with what they think is fibro only to find out it's MS or something else more serious. I'm not trying to scare you, just giving you information. Sometimes folks are "relieved" to hear they have because it finally has a name and it's not in their head. And two because it's "only fibro" and not something worse. Sorta sad huh, but it's totally understandable to have those attitudes.

Then, once you get an appointment and/or a diagnosis please DO take your b/f with you. He needs to not only hear what the doc has to say but he should have a chance to ask questions right at the source. I'm going on the assumption that you have a good doc. My primary doc diagnosed me but sent me to a rheumatologist for conformation. Both were very sweet and understanding...not demeaning like some experiences others have had.

Speaking of not listening to your body...several years ago my mother was complaining of horrible pain in her mid back. She went to her HMO...or Group Death as they're known in this area...and they sent her on her way with a bottle of muscle relaxers. When she was still in pain a couple of months later she returned and they tried something else for muscle pain. They also gave her antidepressants. After all...she was just a woman and an old one at that. No sense actually looking into what was causing the pain. This went on for several months until my father, who was dying of prostate cancer, passed away. Still the pain continued. One doctor visit her regular guy was gone and his sub saw her. She came home with an appointment to see a heart specialist in 2 weeks and a bottle of nitroglycerin tablets in case she had 'another' angina attack. To shorten the story, 2 days later she had a massive heart attack. They had declared her gone on the cath lab table when with one last try the doc got a line through and was able to stent the occluded area. The strange thing was no Group Health doc was in the ER at the time so one of the "regular" doctors is the one who saved her life. Finally I was able to get her to switch but this goes to show that symptoms must be taken seriously and when you don't think things are "right"...keep pushing. It's YOUR body and YOUR life.

I wish you well and keep in touch,
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."

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