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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 2/19/2009 11:42 PM (GMT -7)   
We all have people who have touched our lives in a positive way. Try thinking back over time...some of us have way more to think about ...lol... Who’s been the most influential person in your life? Who has affected you in a positive way? Maybe a relative, a teacher or a friend. Who make a impact on your life?

Yes, this is a hard one to chose a single person. I think I'd have to say my father. He was such a perfect gentleman, generous with his time and he raised us with a loving yet firm manor. But mostly he taught by example. I have given more volunteer hours in my lifetime than many people have worked. This partly comes naturally but much comes from my father. He was a vocational agruculture teacher in our school and for many of the young men he was their father figure. Oh, there were times I wish he were at home when he was visiting them and their agriculture project but I knew they were not as lucky as I was...they didn't have a loving father to spend time with them. He showed them how to live, not just book learning. He also was very active in several philanthropic organizations in the community.

Many of his former students have gone on to do such amazing things in their communities. I remember at his memorial services, exactly 7 years ago next week, so many of his former students came up to me and thanked me for sharing my Dad! He gave them direction and companionship and they were grateful.

Who influenced you to become the person you are?
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 257
   Posted 2/20/2009 12:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I would have to say this would be a former boss of mine. Hard to call him "boss" because he was so much more than that: mentor fits better.

He took a chance and gave me a job under very adverse conditions (mine, not his). He quickly saw that I could be so much more than he had hired me to do, and within a short period of time, he trusted me with so much more than I started with. It was tough: I worked long hours, traveled alot, but I learned so much from someone who was extremely successful not just professionally, but personally as well. He took me under his wing and cared about my kids, too. When my little girl had an emergency appendectomy while visiting grandparents in Florida, he quickly called his travel agent and made all the arrangements, including paying for the trip and car rental.

We are still friends and it's been 14 years since he gave me an opportunity which changed my life - for the better.
Still learning how to manage my Fibromylagia, and all the lovely gifts it brings.   
I had severe spinal stenosis, had fusion done on C5-7, and my life has changed. 

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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 2/20/2009 1:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Wow Chutz this is kind of a hard one.  There have been so many people in my life who have changed the course of my it.  But I would have to say my husband, Mike.  He is my second husband & he has taught me that I am important & have value.  My first husband all but destroyed my self esteem & after I left him I was angry at all men.  I went into counselling for about 9 months & that helped but I still hated men.  My opinion of them was, well, let's just say "scum" is as good word as any & the nicest I can think of.  Mike taught me that men are not all the same.  I used to yell at him to leave me alone but he just told me he would always be there, when I was ready let him know.  That was 25 years ago & I still respect & love him immensely & he has always treated me so well.

This was a good one, thanks, hugs, Denise 

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxiety

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren

As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

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Date Joined Aug 2007
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   Posted 2/20/2009 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a hard one Chutzie. My dad had the biggest influence on me as a child even though I didn't realize it at the time and he died before I could really appreciate the man he was. My aunt and uncle both showed me true grit in the later years of their lives. I think about their will and positive attitudes often with dealing with fibro. They were very giving people who's door was always open to anyone that needed help and they were always involved in the community.
luv and hugs
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/20/2009 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Chutzie, I'm so sorry but I have to cheat on this one. I hope you can forgive me!

I can't possibly pick one person here because there are two very important people who had the biggest influence on my life and who I am today-my grandparents, Joe and Marion Graham. I had a horribly difficult childhood filled with a lot of abandonment, abuse, and neglect because of this, I was a pretty quiet, shy, insecure, anxious, lonely child. My world was books and music and my imagination because the people around me were either being abusive to me, or forgetting I even existed.

Except for my (maternal) grandparents. They were already in their 60's and retired when I was born, so they had slowed down a bit and weren't exciting or outrageously fun, but they were the kindnest, gentlest, most loving people I have ever known. My grandfather never talked much, and I never once heard him say "I love you" to anyone (including me), but he was so gentle and thoughtful-he never yelled, never said mean things, was never unpredictable. If he was upset with you, he would stand up and leave the room until he calmed down. He was not overly demonstrative by any means, yet every year for my birthday, he would take me and my grandma to the Ice Capades and then out to McDonald's for mint shakes. Also, when I was a teenager and had moved away from their hometown, once a month, he would drive the 5 hours to my house and come pick up me and a friend of my choice, then drive us back down to his house for a weekend visit. All I had to do was call and ask and he would come get me, even though by this point he was in his late 70's. He was just that good and that kind. I never heard him say a mean word about anyone in all of the years that I knew him..Thanks to him, I have grown up knowing how to be respectful, how to be kind hearted, how to bite my tongue. By looking at his example, I learned about self control, generosity, quietness and poise. My mother sometimes tells me that I remind her of him, and to me, that is the greatest compliment she could ever give me.

My grandmother was a bit...eccentric, but what a trail blazer! She was born in 1912, but yet went to college (fairly rare for the times). She earned a degree in Latin of all things-she could also speak Greek, French, and Italian fluently. She travelled the world, including to the Middle East and Eastern Euroope. She was so, so smart. Yet she sacrificed all of that to be a traditional 1950's housewife. In some way, this drove her a bit crazy-she suffered from mental illness for most of her adult life and I am convinced that it's because her wings had been clipped by the day and age in which she lived, that and the fact that she had multiple miscarriages before they adopted my mother. I know she had a lot of pain in her life, but despite all of this, she was still so kind and so loving and so open and fun. She wasn't much of a cook, but she loved to bake and every time I would come over she would make me snickerdoodle cookies and we'd snack on them and play card games and Uncle Wiggly. She hugged me and patted my cheeks and when we said the blessing at dinner, she would always get a huge smile and clap her hands and say "aaaaahhhh-MEN!!" Oh, I just loved her so, so much. She had the softest hands and always smelled like powder. She was so good and so loving. She taught me how to be a loving, caring, compassionate person. I did not have the best examples on how to live in my parents, and I know for a fact that I am the mother I am today because of her. She taught me that no matter what life throws at you-no matter what pain and heartache you might experience, or how your dreams might be crushed, you still have to live your life lovingly and with kindness. I will always be grateful to her for this.

So, yes. I can not choose between the two of them. Without either of them, I would not be who I am today. My grandma passed away when I was pregnant with my oldest son, and my grandpa died on Memorial Day, 2007, but I still miss both of them so much. I have many of the things from their house in my house (including a baby grand piano that my great grandmother bought in 1918-I can't play at all, but this is one of my greatest treasures) and I have their pictures up make a point to talk about them with my kids so that their memories can live on. They were such wonderful people, they deserve to be remembered.

Sorry to go on so much, but they just meant so much to me. All the words in the world can not express what they did for me.

Coincidentally, today would have been my grandpa's 96th birthday, so I already had him on my mind. Happy Birthday, grandpa. I love you. Love you, too, grandma.
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/20/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   

Wow... this is too tough for me.  I feel like I've live so many life times in my 51 years or should I say I've had so many phases in my life, that the list would be too long.

Over all, I would say it was one of my bosses that became my best friend for years.  She grew up in post WWII Germany.  Her father was horrible to her, he was one of Hitler's SS.  She had such a strong work ethic and she taught me that.  I worked for her on and of for 20 years.  Another thing she taught me was how to live on next to nothing, since that's the way she grew up.  She was a tough boss but a dear kind and generous friend.  I still see her now and then but she lives back east and I don't get back there as often as I would like.


Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
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"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 2/20/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
MB, haven't your girls made you smile a few times?

OK, I'm gonna cheat, too. I can't pick just one. Obviously, since my emotions are so raw right now, I'd have to say that my Grandma Toots was a huge inspiration to me. After my grandfather died in 1965, she began to travel the world. She was very liberal (she didn't like Ronald Reagan-LOL-he was about 9 months older than her, and she always called him, "that old man"). She learned something from all the countries she visited, and she always thought that life shouldn't be wasted. I can honestly say that not one day of her 97 years was not productive in some way. :-)

I do have someone else who influences me and just makes me happy. I'm not gonna even name names, cause if you know me, you know who this person is. smilewinkgrin
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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 2/20/2009 2:02 PM (GMT -7)   
My wife is my bestest friend ever.  And my 3'rd grade and  5/6 grade teachers were great too. 
But prorbably the biggest influences in my life were from the late 50's and the 60's.  It was the time of Sputnik, Cape Canaveral, Mecury 7 astronauts, Apollo 11 moon landing, Apollo 13 rescue mission.  It had the "cool" factor for me and affected the whole course of my life.  I've worked on aircraft, missiles, Space Shuttle, etc.  It really became a part of who I am and in one way or another has probably influenced every facet of my life.
Since I can't resist the nostalgia trip, it was also the time of the Cold War, Berlin Wall, open air nuclear testing, Dr's doing cigarette commercials (the kid still won't belive me), the Jolly Green Giant, Mr. Clean, the Michelin Man, VW bugs, the Smothers Brothers, and Mustangs.  Ok .... I'll quit with that.  Just couldn't resist a little.
Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae
"... expect the unexpected ..."  (O. Wilde)
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." (Mark Twain)

Sera Smiles
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 2/21/2009 1:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Its easy for me to answer this one- this person has talked me down off the ledge many times [without knowing that she did], motivated me to work harder, helped me understand that even with the scars of an abusive childhood and a munchie mother, there can still be beauty in the world. She has taught me that to love is an enormous gift, but the real challenge is when it comes to receiving true, unconditional love. When someone loves you, you are responsible to hold that love safe, and the most important way to do that is to be accountable to yourself for your health, your contentment, and your outlook on life. Loving is easy; being loved is hard. So many times when I was at my darkest, bleakest points, she pulled me through- just knowing that she was out there living her life with personal responsibility, and holding on to my love with respect and honor- I could not let go of the precious frail grasp that I still had on life, I couldn't let it go, I couldn't give in and take the easy way, I had to hold on because she loved me and expected me to do all that I could to honor that love. So I did, I do, I still can try, and honor her everyday by living my life in a very deliberate way, living a life on purpose,. not accidentally, but finding my place in the world and standing tall in it. This woman I am talking about is my 21 year daughter, my precious joy. I love you, Christine- mwah!
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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 532
   Posted 2/21/2009 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   

I can not pick just one person I have had many in my life, I think it depends where we are and what we need. I do have to say that my Mom has always been by my side for support. Through it all she is My best friend and my hero.


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