Muscle cramping can be caused by low calcium and also potassium. My doctor gives me a prescription for a time-released potassium called Klor-con. It does help me.
If you can, have the doctor draw the blood to check for Lyme disease, and then have it sent to Genex Labs in Palo Alto, California. They are supposed to be the best lab in diagnosing Lyme disease. Our Lyme forum can tell you more about that and how to do that too.
Life is made up of choices. We can be miserable with what life dishes out or we can look forward to the future because it could be really good. If we stay miserable, we will be very unhappy and it will affect all those around us. We lose friends and, in your case, your son left. That is really so sad and I feel badly for you about that.
It's so easy to crawl into bed and pull the covers over our heads but it never helps one iota. You need to push ahead and start living your life. You can't give up!!! For example, you say if you walk your muscles and tendons hurt for days so you don't walk! Gee...you don't use those muscles and tendons so they rebelled. Plus add the additional weight and that just makes it harder on the muscles and tendons. You can't give up! Your life will never improve with what you are doing right now.
When I started walking daily I could only go four houses down and had to turn around and head back home if I was going to make it! Wow, my muscles hurt! Now, I could have said "forget this!" But I didn't. I went out the next day...with a cane in my hand...and was able to go a little further! Every day I went further and every day my muscles didn't hurt quite as much. And now I walk a mile with my dog every morning. I hate to exercise but know I need to in order to feel better. While walking I look around at all the beauty around me...the trees, sky, landscaping, critters gathering their breakfasts, bugs, etc. I find I'm smiling and by the time I get back home I have less pain and more energy and ready to face my day. And I'm happy!
Take one day at a time. I look forward to each new day with anticipation because it could be a good day. I make arrangements to go out to lunch with friends as finances allow me. Tomorrow I'm having a friend come to my house for lunch and I'm making my famous chicken salad today to serve. I'm happy and excited about spending time with this lively lady. It takes a lot of effort, planning, and pacing myself but it is well worth it. I set doable goals each day and when I complete them I pat myself on the back and, again, smile. I do smile a lot...even when I'm out in public. It's amazing how my smile can bring a smile on the grumpiest faces. 😊 If the day isn't the greatest, I know I can deal with that day and look forward to the next day. This keeps me moving, happy, I feel I'm accomplishing things, and I'm enjoying my life. After all...things could be worse.
I was quite overweight for the same reasons you described. I started counting carbs and only allow myself about 100-120 carbs a day. There are a lot of low carb things to snack on...lots of vegetables...but I like to get sour cream dips to dip the veggies in. And I love the 100 calories mini popcorn bags. They hit the spot. Anyway, I lost 85 pounds doing this and have kept it off for eight years so far. I feel sooooo much better and I don't seem to hurt as much. After all, it was like I was carrying around an 85 pound suitcase all day long. Of course my muscles would hurt! I can't even lift 85 pounds. If you are interested in what I did, you will see a little envelope under my name at the left of this post. Click on it and it sets you up to email me. I will then send you what I have done and am doing to keep the weight off.
Lastly, read the link on how to maintain a positive attitude when you have chronic pain. This really helps and gives you great ideas. I know you can switch your mindset. If you are successful, you might not be as depressed. I don't suffer from depression generally. I make myself get busy and do something constructive and that helps. In one of my worst times dealing with depression. The only thing that helped was going for a walk and getting out in the sun and looking at beautiful things.
I hope some of this helps you. You do not want to spend your life doing what you are doing. Do keep your search up and find out for sure what is going on with your health, too. You owe that to yourself. You deserve more in life. You are a special person and I know people love you. You just have to face this head on and not let illness run your life anymore. You will be glad you did.
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis, Ankylosing Spondylitis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7