Update - been away for awhile with horrible flare

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/11/2009 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone.........have had a horrible flare which just does not want to go away, after a horrific bout with the stomach flu.  I ache where I have never ached before.  And the pain travels from place to place.
I have tried every rub and ointment, and nothing works.  Hot baths relieve it for about an hour.  Alls I want to do is sleep, and just no energy.  Anways, I had posted awhile back about my son and his wife...she was pregnant and she didnt want the baby, and was spotting.  The dr said it was normal, as a lot of women do.  Well,
she miscarried Monday night at 11 weeks.  She had a D&C yesterday.
I cried so hard I thought I was going to pass out.  I know they dont want to be married, but all I could think of was this little innocent baby, and now it is gone.  She got what she wished for, didnt she.
I am angry, hurt and just fed up with everything.  I am sick of pain and no energy, having to force myself to even do housework.  I have to distance myself from my son and his wife right now.  He stayed with us for a week, because she would go into rages and attack him.  He was afraid he would lose his temper so he moved in.  This was the week he was scheduled to take his state NCLEX boards for get his RN license.  He also got the stomach flu, but by the Grace of God, HE PASSED and is officially an RN!!! So that is the good news. I have missed you all, and hope everyone is doing as well as they can be with this lousy condition we have to live with.
It is good to be back
Hugs to you all
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41907
   Posted 3/11/2009 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sue,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and sorry to hear of your flare. I hope that you start feeling better soon.

Try to think of it as the baby is now up in heaven, maybe that will make it easier. By the sound of it, she doesn't need to have any children. She obviously isn't stable. Maybe God could see that and took the baby to be with him. I know that it is hard to find the right words in a time like this. I guess I just grab what sounds good to me to try to say something with compassion. All I know that I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you wanted the baby really bad.

To try to end on a better note, I hope that you start feeling better soon. I know how flares are and they aren't any fun. I have not had one for a long time, and I feel very fortunate for that. And I should knock on wood.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 3/11/2009 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Good Lord (((((Sue)))))).. *really big gentle hugs*

I've been wondering where you were.?!

I'm so sorry you have been having such a rough time.  I'm sure between having the flu and the situation with your DIL and son.  My gosh.. how could you help but have a HUGE FLARE.  Awww, I wish I knew what to say to make it better, but I don't know if there's anything.  Except, I just feel so bad for you.

I'm happy that your son got his RN, how GREAT is that!! Hopefully he will realize that his marriage isn't all its cracked up to be, since she's gotten physically aggrestive with him.  I think he's due for something better in his life and he's got a good start with a new career and opportunities.

I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you and I hope you have better days ahead.

Warm hugs,

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 3/11/2009 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel for you... we had a similar loss.. our nephews girlfriend just lost her baby last week.. 5 mths in the pregnancy. My sister in law said the baby was not right.. and we believe also that it was just the right thing to happen so the child wouldn't have to suffer. You always wish there was a way to fix these darn horrible days. But what keeps me going is believing there is a reason for everything!!

I hope you feel like a bit of sunshine real soon. were all pulling for you. and understand the pain and suffering of fibro.

God bless, Laura
Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000. Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009, Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS. Asthma

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 3/11/2009 11:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue, what a trial you have been through.  I am so sorry for you & your son, how is he handling the loss?  It must be so hard for you all right now.  It's terrible that you have to distance yourself from your son & I hope this is a short term thing.  The emotional roller coaster you have been on can certainly cause a major flare, please rest as much as you can & take it easy for awhile.  Are you on an antidepressant?  If not, maybe for the short term it will help, you sound like you are depressed, understandably, & have been for awhile.  Come back & post often, yell & cry & scream & be angry, we will be here to help.  Welcome back, many gentle hugs going your way, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxietyMarried to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 3/12/2009 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh, honey, I am so very sorry about the baby. I know how concerned you were and how much you wanted things to work out ok, so I am very saddened by the news. I know you must be feeling terrible about things-no wonder you are in such a flair! I can't say I even begine to understand what your dil was thinking when she refused to go to the Dr., but it sounds like the situation with her and your son is not a very happy one. I will be praying for you and your son (and your dil, too) in the hopes that you might all find peace and strength during this very difficult time.

Congratulations to your son, though, on passing his exams and becoming an RN! I am so awed by those who can commit their lives to working in the medical field!

Please take gentle care of yourself and always know that you can come here and vent, scream, cry anytime you need friends. We all love you and will be here for you whenever you need us.
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/12/2009 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your post, friends. They are always uplifiting. I do think I am depressed, and have been since my brother died in Nov. I have tried 2 antidepressants and the side effects were really bad. I think I am too hard on myself. After I get my husband off to work, which means I am up at 6:30,
get breakfast, clean up, throw in some laundry, worry about making dinner, I feel as though I have no energy and I go lay down. I feel sooooooooo guility about this, but some days I just cant function. Anyone else like this? I hate being lazy, and
if I could, I would be running here and there, shopping, cleaning, and doing all the thngs I love to do. But I just cant anymore. I know this flare will go away, and I hope soon. I have to stop worrying so much about everyone. My family doesnt accept my dx of Fibro (except my RN nurse son), so its very hard. Last Sunday I managed to get really dressed up for church.....nice dress and 2 inch heels (OUCH).
My husband wanted to go to the mall after, but I couldnt because my back and legs hurt so much, and I just wanted to come home and take off those dumb heels.
WOW WOW WOW, was he mad, but he got over it. I miss seeing my son, he hasnt been around since he moved back home which was two weeks ago. I have a younger son who lives with us, but I never see him. Geeeez, listen to me ramble,
but thanks for letting me do it. It feels good. Its sunny and 20 degrees today,
a little too cold for me, but I am thankful for the sun. Have a great day!!
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/12/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Forgot ( Duh,fibro fog)............my son called to tell me she had miscarried and he cried, just like a little boy shakehead .  My heart broke for him.  I think that set me off.  I love babies, but if God didnt think it was a good thing, then I can accept it. Its a loveless marriage, and who knows what kind of a mother she would be.  She has got to get control of her RAGES.....it scares me and it scares my son.

anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro

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