Hello......newly diagnosed and wondering about my future.

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/28/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
It's got to be better than the last three years.

I am 45 yers old and was just diagnosed Monday with fibro, and finally someone was listening to me. I am soooo tired of telling my two daughters and my extended family that I constantly ache and have muscle pain -- "I feel like I have the flu coming on."

I had my gallbladder removed six weeks ago and before that had a vist to my GP who referred me to a rheumy who finally CALLED it and gets it. Told me to lose 10 pounds, start mild exercise every other day on a stationery bike that tracks pulse, keep a journal and put me on tramadol. Must say I'm feeling a bit better but fear losing my job as my aches are so bad and the "fibro fog" is the WORST. And I"ve been thinking I'm losing my mind. I'm a writer/editor and it is starting to scare me because I'm making mistakes at work and having a heck of time with word retreival. With the economy the way it is I can not lose my job as I support two daughters, 13 and 15 and am a single mom.

I thought it was interesting that the rheumy asked about infection/stress in past. in fall 2006 my husband left with a coworker and turned our world upside down. 18 years of marriage and I was happy...and then BAM. Three months later I drove myself to the ER with severe back pain. Turns out I had about a dozen kidney stones and a severe e coli infection -- it went into my blood stream before surgery/stent placement and I spent 8 days in the hospital septic -- I don't even remember 3 of those days. Went through 2 lithotripsies, etc etc. But the depression was really baddddd with hubby gone. I sold the marital home and went from a huge 5 bedroom to 3 bedroom ranch and we've adjusted to a degree

Dr. gave me fibro lit and I shared it with my girls. Now they understand I'm not just a blob who comes home from a full day at work and collapses. They know I need 45 minutes to recharge and THEN I make dinner and they help. We also talked about more chores for them and I'm starting to realize I can't do it all. So what if the dog tracked lawn clippings in and they are still there or that I've not yet done the cat box. I'm starting to realize my limitations BUT I am just taking it day by day with work and the girls. I have not told my employer about the fibro as I took a bit of time off with the gallbladder so now I feel anxious about that and about being competent enough to do my job. How do you fibro folks DO this? Today is like rainy and cold and torture, so I'm on the sofa and feeling guilty. Thanks for listening. I'm enjoying the info on the forum and send very soft, soft hugs to all of you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42065
   Posted 3/28/2009 9:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mim,

And welcome to the fibromyalgia forum. You have come to a good place, I think that you will like it here. We discuss everything under the sun, because there is so much that effects us.

Please take a few minutes and check out fibro101. It is the second thread. It has a lot of information in it that I am sure that you will find helpful.

I hope that you are having a good day. Full of sunshine and free of pain. I am sorry to hear that it is raining. But hopefully that will end soon.

take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 3/28/2009 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there Mom of 2!!

I wanted to extend you a big warm welcome to our Fibro Family and let you know we're here for you!!!  I'm glad you're reading our posts and hope that you'll check out the 2nd thread on the forum called Fibro 101.. great stuff on there that will help you learn more and gain some coping skills for the fun fest eyes known as Fibro.  There's a link on there called the "Spoon Theory" that is really helpful to both fibromites and there loved ones, when it comes to understanding how to deal with energy & pain levels.

WOW... you're a writer!!! I always wanted to grow up to be a writer.. my problem is.. I never grew up!! LOL.. Actually I'm 51.  But I do have some interest in getting into the world of journalism.  Two of my brothers are writers so I think it runs in the family.

You've found the best place in the world for folks that suffer with fibro.  This message board is very active and understanding.  I don't know what I would have done over these past few months without this group of wonderful people.  We laugh and cry together and we really can relate to each other.  Our Moderators are AWESOME.  They all really know their stuff and take good care of their members. 

I know how you feel about your job.. but as you learn to cope and get your meds going you'll be ok.   I was the director of our local chamber of commerce... very high energy job, the hours got to be too much for me and my husband, he really wanted me to leave my job so after a serious flare, he just couldn't stand to see me go through the medical issues and a very non forgiving job.  So I'm looking for something part time now.

Again, Welcome.. I hope you enjoy the forum and keep posting!!


Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17557
   Posted 3/28/2009 10:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Mom, and welcome!  You do have your hands full and the stress that you are going through isn't helping matters either.  Stress can make the fibro worse.  I'm glad to see that you are getting some help from your children.  They need to pitch in more so the three of you are each doing 1/3 of the work.  You are working and they are going to school.  When everyone gets home, you all can get things in order in a short period of time.  Then you will have time for each other, too.
Hot showers really help a lot.  Also Bed Buddies feel great.  You can get these at Walgreens and other places or you can make your own.  Take a tube sock, fill it 2/3's full of raw rice, and tie a knot at the top.  You can put this in the microwave and it gives off moist heat due to the moisture in the rice. 
You have been already directed to the Fibro 101 thread...the second thread on the forum.  There is a link in that thread that has good stretching exercises that can be done sitting down.  You could do some of this while at your desk at work.  It helps keep the muscles flexible.  If you sit or lay too long you will be stiff as a board!  So, these should help you out.  Also, get up as much as possible.  Walking is a wonderful exercise, too, and that has helped me a lot.
You are just starting to learn how to control your pain.  Once you get control you will be surprised what you really can do with fibro.  Yes, you will have flares, but you will also have better times, too.  I have had it for 22 years and have had a wonderful life with fibro.  I don't let it stop me.  I just find ways to work around it.  So far, so good!
Read the Fibro 101 thread, back post, and ask questions.  We are here to help you.  I'm so glad you found us and joined in!  Hope to hear more from you soon.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 3/28/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Mom of 2, Welcome to a wonderful forum.  You have received some very good advice, the people here are caring & knowledgeable.  I have leaned on them heavily at times & have gotten to know them well.  You will find the same experience here & I hope it helps to make your life just a little bit better. 

Always remember, you are not lazy, you have an illness.  The guilt you feel is totally self defeating & will just put you into a flare.  Learn to pace yourself, be aware of how you are feeling & don't push yourself when your body is saying, Stop!!!   If during the week you make it to work & then come home & just lay down for the rest of the evening, pat yourself on the back.  Being able to support your 2 children financially is a biggie.  Spend time with them by sitting & talking or share dinner & watch TV, have quality time.  Share the workload at home on the weekends & dig out that slow cooker for meals.  You will find what works for you.  Leave the guilt it has no value or use in finding your way with this illness.  You didn't ask for it. 

I am happy to meet you, come often because the people here will become your FMily, a soft place to fall when you are in pain & a friend to laugh with about those things, we as Fibromites, do.  Many gentle hugs, Denise  

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxiety  Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 124
   Posted 3/28/2009 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   

You have come to the right place. I have learned so much here and everyone is so supportive. I am on the Lupus board mostly but I was dx with fibro first. In a 4 year span I gave birth 2 times in 13 months, had a hysterectomy, appendectomy and my father had a major stroke. I was working a full time job and raising 5 kids and the fatigue and pain was unbearable. I thought I was dying. For 2 years I would go to one doctor after another and numerous trips to the ER. I was told a couple times that it was all in my head and I needing to get control of my anxiety. Finally, someone here referred me to a rheumy in my area and I was dx with Fibro.....and about 6 months later Lupus. I was so happy to know someone finally believed me. I totally believe that stress is a huge factor in the disease. I am happy you finally have some answers too. :)
Take Care,
"Grace by which I stand."
Fibromyalgia, IBS,Gerd, Scoliosis, & Costochondritis, Lupus

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 3/29/2009 10:49 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi singlemom -

I also have the "wondering about my future" thing.  There is a point where, if I have too much trouble with concentration, memory, word finding, and making mistakes .... well, maybe I'm not "fit for duty".  I've been discussing this with both my Lyme doc and my therapist. 

I think maybe part of the answer is to have a cognitive exam.  Over the last week I've been doing some research to find neuropsychologists in this area.  I think I'll have the testing done cause otherwise I'm not sure how I'll know how bad it is - and then what I should be doing about it.  But I do think it would help my adjustment and help me to be realistic. 

I'm willing to change and adapt if I have to.  But there are a lot of financial concerns about what all this means.  I've considered starting a separate topic on this for a while.  I did ask a question on the Lyme forum cause I knew one of the girls there had an eval done:


My Lyme doc works primarily with chronic fatigue and fibro patients.  The week before my clinic was very slow at sending some CMP results to her.  She is very supportive and said to email her the clinic phone number and she would ask them.  So I sent her an email.  I got the card for the clinic and copied the number down carefully to be sure I got it right.  I then got a call from my Lyme doc - shocked    I had tried to put the clinic number down and instead put my own phone number down. shakehead   She has seen "the fog" before and tried to make me feel better.  Kind of funny and embarrassing at the same time.

Guess you can tell I've been a little preoccupied by all of these concerns.

Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae
"... expect the unexpected ..."  (O. Wilde)
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." (Mark Twain)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 3/30/2009 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Singlemomof2 and Welcome-

I have walked in your shoes in many ways. I have raised my boys on my own, but in two different spans- they are 15 yrs a part, it is one of the hardest jobs to do. And working fulltime on top of it -don't feel guilty in the least- your body is different now. Like Sherrine said, your daughters need to help you in order to keep doing what you are doing. I unfortunately cannot work fulltime anymore and am fighting Soc. Sec. Disability. The fibro hit me hard and I am 52, so not sure if that plays a part in it. I know everyone is different on how the fibro affects them.

Sounds like you are feeling a little better and give yourself LOTS of credit- you have made it this far, and you have been through alot!

Nice to meet you and let us know how you are doing-



Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 3/30/2009 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Single Mom,

I just want to jump in and say hi and welcome you too. I have had the Fibro for just over a year and life has really changed. Just as you I had to have my gallbladder out and had a major emotional issue to deal with and then came Fibro. I believe the emotional aspect is very huge.

I am so sorry about your husband and know the trauma there. Good for you that you are open with the children and having them pitch in more. No one can do it all, my you are still holding down a very challenging job. My best to you.

Hope we get to know you better.

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