What a horrible week!!

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 4/17/2009 4:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi FMily!!
I've had an awful week.. that's why I haven't been around much.
It seems that my former assistant from my old place of employement (allegedly) embezzled a bunch of money right after I left my job.  She was left in charge and man oh man she just helped herself to the bank account.  So I've had tons of phone calls, had to deal with the police and of course had to do a bunch of damage control for my own reputation.  Its been all over the news here.
I worked my butt off to keep my organization's positive image in our area and now this greedy act has really hurt the organization and me.. not to mention the other folks that volunteer for it. 
Of course I'm totally in the clear and fortunately the press and organization have made a point of letting everyone know that.  This is a very small community and everyone knows everyone.  So you can imagine the gossip that's flying around.
I think the worst part is.. this employee was my friend (or so I thought).  I trusted her and now I feel totally betrayed.  She and I remained friends after I resigned in Nov.  She started doing this the day after I left.. so my office chair wasn't even cold before she started the distruction of all of my hard work and the hard work of the volunteers.
If she's found guilty (she pleaded not guilty and has been in jail since Monday), she'll have to serve between 10-40 years for fraud and forgery.  shakehead
I'm totally heartbroken.  I've been a nervous wreck... worrying that people might think that I had something to do with this.  Needless to say, I'm trying VERY hard not to let all of this get to me.  I'm just now starting to feel better than I have in about a year and I don't want all of this stupid stress to throw me into a flare.  You might remember that I'm getting ready to go back to work full time in a couple of weeks and I want to be well rested and feeling well when I start.
Apparently I have a tendency to only see the good in people and am far too trusting.  This has really changed my tune!!  I'll be more careful from now on.  But it still hurts.
Thanks for listening.. (reading)
Hugs for now..
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 210
   Posted 4/17/2009 5:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Patti, What a horrible and trying time for you. How can you not go into a flare. I've had betrayel like this in a different form. You have integrity and I will definetly pray for your heart and well being. Know our hearts are with you through this time. I don't know what else to say except I am so so sorry you are hurt and this happened. Denise
Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto Thyroid disease, Chronic pain.
 All things are possible thru Christ Jesus who strengthens me

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2858
   Posted 4/17/2009 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Patti...so sorry.  Not that it will make you feel any better but my Dad was director of Drug and Alcoholism services here in our county.  Unfortunatley, he allowed his assistant access to his credit card for repairs on the building they were in until they could be reimbursed by the county.  She got cash advances with it and bought her boyfriend drugs.  She also stole thousands of dollars of Medicaid money, and all the petty cash that was in a safe.  My mom went to buy something and the card was declined...and so and so and so.  When they finally figured out what was going on, she had packed her bags and headed for South Carolina.  The business folded after the FBI got involved and it took forever to straighten out the credit card and clear my Dad's name.  He retired immediately as he was already 65.
She was pretty slick and some how got to the Medicaid money in a fashion that could never be proved in court...through a second 'invisible' party or something.  She was prosecuted for the credit card thing but...she is now working as a youth councelor somewhere in the south!
It's a horrible, despicable thing to do...hang in there.  Your name has been cleared.  I wish the flare you may get on your assistant...may she feel the pain in every muscle of her body...for months!
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 4/17/2009 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   

How awful!! I just do not understand how people can do things like this, especially when it's money that is for an organization doing good work for the community.

I am so happy that your name has been cleared, though I do know how the talk in small towns can be. You are a wonderful person, though, and I can't for a minute believe that anyone would think you had anything to do with this!

I am so sorry for the betrayal and stress you are feeling right now. I can't imagine how awful it must be for you, especially since you trusted this person and looked upon her as a friend. Just so so terrible.

Please try to take deep breaths and be easy on yourself. You do not need a flare from all of this!

{{{{more gentle hugs}}}}
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 4/17/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
You know Patti, I don't even know what to say.  What an awful thing to have to go through. 
Your stress level must just be through the roof right now.  Try to get some rest and take care of yourself.  Remember that you did nothing wrong, and there wasn't anything you could have done to prevent this.  I know that your friend's betrayal must be devastating, but she obviously has some serious issues going on.
Hang in there.
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 4/17/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Patti, I'm so sorry you had to go through this.  But, your name has been cleared and the people that know you  know that you had nothing to do with this.  They can tell when the money started missing and you were already gone.  I certainly wouldn't worry about what others think.  The ones that truly matter think highly of you.
My daughter, when looking for a job, was sent to an office to try to straighten things out and get it organized.  While there, she discovered that the office manager was embezzling money, too!  (There seems a lot of that going around these days.)  She ended up working for that company.
So, take a deep breath.  This is NOT a reflection on you.  If anything, it will make you missed much, much more!
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 4/18/2009 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh .. you gals are awesome and so sweet!!!   Thanks for all of your kind word and thanks for sharing some of your personal experiences.  I know my organization isn't the only one to go through this.  As a matter of fact this is the 2nd time in 10 years that the org. has delt with embezzlement.  I was always very careful about the book-keeping end of things because of the past issues they had had.  Nothing improper ever happened under my watch and if we couldn't find a few bucks here or there I would always take it out of my own pocket to make it right.

Now that I'm resonibly sure that my former employee did this and I was instructed by the police not to have any communication with her or her family I feel as though that friend has died.  So to top off this whole mess I feel the grief that one would feel when dealing with a death, but this time its as if she told me to ^*%( % - off before she took her last breath.  I feel this way because the person I thought I knew doesn't exsist anymore. 

As for the flare that I feared.  Yesterday, I got a massage.  I had a hard time enjoying it because I was so tense.  Most of the day, yesterday, I felt pretty wrung out.  Again.. my phone rang all day.  Today... I'm feeling very stiff and sore.  I think I'm starting to flare.. DANG-IT!!  I had been feeling pretty good for a few days and now.. I'm not so sure.  I try not to take my pain meds as often as its prescribed, but I will for the next few days and see how it goes.  If I'm not feeling better by Monday I'll call the doctor.  I have couple of trips planned for next week and the week after.. I want be able to enjoy them.

My massage therapist said my lower back (which has been really bugging me for the past month or so) was as "tight as a wire" and she recommended that I get that looked at.  GREAT, I don't want to have to deal with that again... that's from my disk problems.  I've been having a lot of pain in that area and if I lay down .. it spazzes out so badly that I can't get up with out tremendous pain. So I know I'll be MRI bound soon.

Fortunately this won't effect my new job.  Its in the same industry and I was very concerned they wouldn't want me after this big mess.  But my furture boss said the board of directors was delighted that I would be going back to work there... so that's the GOOD news!!  Now if my body will allow it I'll be starting on May 4th!! 

Again.. thanks everyone for your kind words.  And please say a little prayer for me that this won't result in a full blown flare.



Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 4/18/2009 6:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Pattipanda: I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I also don't know what to say, and as ya'll know, that's very unusual, for me. However, having said that, I will share a little experience I've had similar, to what you describe. In hard economic times, desperate people or people with nothing to lose, cause they lost it all, will do desperate things. You have to forgive her. Otherwise it will eat you alive. Send a note to jail, tell her you love and forgive her, but have to "detach in love" for your own sake. She has lots of chums where she is now, probably more than she wants.

I was called upon by a lady, once, dying of cancer. She was being cared for prior to my involvement by her husband who also had cancer, and he died. I helped her through that time, as best I could. Then her, wanted by three counties, meth addicted (the absolute worst thing on the planet, turns people into wild animals, do not turn your back on a meth addict) son, somehow qualified for early release as his mother was "dying of cancer, and he wanted to go be by her side" B.S. showed up. I split. So weeks later, back in Canada, when I split, I really split, ie 3000 miles, I got a phone call fro her. She wanted me back. I said "what about ______ (son)? She assured me he was out of the picture. She explained he was living elsewhere and called before coming, and since he did, I could leave before he arrived and stay away until he left, etc. etc. etc. Well, trusting, naive, me. Off I went. Rescue my friend. I don't think I need say more. I was her "caregiver", there were guns and drugs in the house, she said guns, for her own protection, drugs as she was end stage cancer, powerful drugs. Plus all kinds of saleables. Her money went missing. I hid her medicine. I was accosted by Mr. Charming meth addict who was about to beat me to death, until I handed over her drugs. I did not hand them over, I said Give me three minutes, I went in, grabbed as much of my stuff as I could, put the drugs in the regular place, on her bed, hopped in my truck, grabbed my big Rotty, Grissly Bear of a dog, and split. Fallout: three weeks later I had a visit from an investigator for adult protection. She wanted to know where the drugs and money went. It was sooooo, stressful. Also, the son, would circle the small town we lived in looking for me, he blamed me for everything, and I had to keep moving. I would have done my major split routine, but I had committed to another family, to help them. I should have split, but then, that would look suspicious too, so I hung in. It was a terrible thing to go through, and being a small town, and me somewhat of an outsider, "where there's smoke there's fire" attitude due to boredom in small town life. Patti, it was simply awful. I somehow separated myself, from the incident, like Business vs. Personal, that being business. That's how I got through. How's that for not having much to say?   

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 4/18/2009 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Patti, I'm sorry you have had to go through this stress because of someone's greed. I guess in desperate times people do desperate things. I had a neighbor that was a great friend (so I thought) that I gave a key to my house to in case of emergencies. Her ex husband was taking her to court for custody of their daughter and she needed money for a lawyer, yep she found it in our house but she only took what she needed for the retainer which was nice of her. That kinda gave her away cause she had told me how much she needed for the retainer. It really is sad that we live in a world where we can't trust anyone.
My DH is a small business owner and I wouldn't even take a guess at how much stuff employees have stolen over the years in petty theft.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 4/18/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Holy Shazbot Tyno!!!  That must have been like hell on earth!!  Glad you made it out alive on that nightmare!!  (by the way for those who don't know what shazbot is.. well its for that bad s word, from Mork & Mindy, there I go giving away my age again.. LOL) 
Marlee, I know you know how I'm feeling, too.  You can't imagine someone doing that since you couldn't even think about doing such a thing yourself.
Again.. it seems that we fibromites share the "giving" thing.  We're naturally born compassionate people that would give you the shirt off our backs. (as long as they took the painful bra with it... LOL).
This has been a horrible experience that makes me think about who your real friends are.  Sadly they are few and far between.
I know one thing... I'm glad I have all of you in my life.  Aside from suffering from the same medical problems we can share our life experiences and it really helps to know that someone you wouldn't even know if you met them face to face cares so much.
Luv you guys!!!! :-)   
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

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