Awww, Karen, I'm sorry you are having this problem. But you are not alone. I think it's something in the air or the drinking water. You know how "up" I usually am? Well, I have had a week of feeling useless, too. My life was caring for my family and they are now all gone. But, you know, I think the economy is playing into all of our lives BIG TIME! Everyone is feeling the pinch and people like us can't pitch in and do a whole lot so that plays on our minds. But, we will get through this, all of us, together.
Jayson sounds like he needs some help with depression. He's working hard and I know he is worried about your health. I remember when you were so sick that he came on the forum with updates. He loves you and can't stand seeing you having these problems. He can't fix it so he is angry inside and is lashing out at the closest person to him...you, unfortunately.
Both of you need patience right now. You love the flowers on your porch so you keep them. He doesn't have to sit out there. You have gotten compliments on your flowers every year and that is something you love and it makes you feel good. He knows this, too. Right now he is just angry.
Now, you do not have to wash the walls before you paint. We never did. When I was young, my husband and I were both smokers and the ceiling was tinted yellow from nicotine. But we painted every two years and never once washed a wall or ceiling. So don't waste your money or your time. Besides, you shouldn't have to pay your daughter for her help. You have done plenty for her and it cost you another piece of your health. It seems to me that she would come and help you paint and be happy she could help her Mom.
You just hang tight, Karen. You are definitely not alone here and, as I said before, we will come out on the other side!