Don't know where to turn

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/20/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel like my life is falling apart at the seams.  It's like everyone in my life I turn to for support is suddenly turning their back on me.
I've been missing some days of work lately because I've been feeling really bad-- not to mention that I also have a bad cold that threw me into a terrible flare.  Both of my parents keep making me feel guilty and horrible by throwing in my face that they "always hurt too, but just don't let it get to them".  They don't understand that this is different from a little ache or pain, and the fact that they don't believe the things that I tell them are wrong with me is hurtful and makes me feel worthless. 
I've always relied on my boyfriend for support, because he's always been understanding, but last night when I told him I wasn't going to work, he got upset with me.  I'm supposed to be moving in with him at the end of the week, when I have to be out of my apartment, but he keeps making little comments about me not having enough money and him not being able to support both of us.  I have told him a million times that I don't expect him to pay any of my bills... they are my responsibility.  But, if he doesn't want to deal with the burden of having me live with him, who can blame him?  I don't know where else I can go.  My parents don't want me, they make that perfectly clear.  I can't afford to live on my own anymore, and even so, where would I find a place in under a week?
I feel so broken and so depressed right now.  There is so much that needs packed up and so much that needs done to this place before I leave, and I can't even bring myself to work on it.
I had to stop taking Lyrica and Cymbalta because I cannot afford them, and I know that is part of why I'm feeling so bad.  My doctor is out of town until the middle of next week, so there's no one I can talk to about getting something different to take.  I feel like my mind won't rationalize anything, and I feel worthless after the way everyone treated me yesterday.  I don't know where to turn anymore. 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
Lyrica 50 mg BID, Cymbalta 60 mg, Diflunisal 500 mg BID, Nortryptiline 50 mg at bedtime, Ambien 10 mg at bedtime, Tramadol 50 mg PRN 
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   -Robert Frost
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17501
   Posted 5/20/2009 11:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  If you really don't make much money you can get some assistance with medication, I believe.  Speak to your doctor about it or call the Red Cross and they might be able to help or guide you in the right direction.
What kind of job do  you do?  I know it's really rough out there and you don't want to lose your job.  That's probably what your boyfriend was thinking about last night.  I'm sure he loves you but, as he said, he can't afford to support both of you.  Maybe there is a way to work around the fibro that will help you at work.
It is hurtful when the people that you love don't your parents.  They are probably just trying to help but really don't have a clue as to what you are going through right now. 
You do need to get the pain under control.  You have been here long enough to know things you can do to help yourself, like stretching exercises, homemade Bed Buddies, light exercise, etc.  Of course you need to talk to your doctor about some help with medications, too.  He/she might have some ideas for you, too.
This is all I can think of right now but I'm sure others will be on with more ideas for you.  I know a move can be overwhelming but once it's over it should be nice.  Please let us know how you are doing.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 5/20/2009 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry your in the situation your in right now. But your not alone and never will be as long as we have this forum. So often on this forum I read post like your's and wish I could reach through cyberspace and give you a big hug and tell you everything will be okay (((((HUG))))). Hopefully, your boyfriend was also in a bad mood last night and I know the economy situation is getting to a lot of people and it doesn't bring out the best in any of us. Don't count him out yet cause he has concerns. The best thing to do is talk to him and both of you be honest about the whole situation and fibro. This is your life and if he can't handle it you want to know now before you make any kind of commitment about living together cause you sure don't need anymore stress in your life. Do you have sick leave time to fall back on or vacation time???
Going off the two meds I'm sure didn't help things any, I've not been on either so I don't know what going off them feels like. Did you call your doc office to see if they had samples they would give you for awhile why your working on getting them for free from the companies that make them??? I'm sure the people on here that have gone through that process can help you with it more than I can. As Sherrine said call the Red Cross and type in agencies in your area that might be able to help you with the financial situation til you get the pain and stress under control. I continue to be amazed about what I can find on the internet when I need a question answered.
As far as people understanding what we go through, even your parents, there is no way they can ever understand what it feels like to have fibro. I know I sure wouldn't have understood all that fibro can throw at us before I got it so I do give people a break but I also expect them to believe me when I say it really is this bad.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin

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