It's been well known in my household that I have a sometimes spotty memory, and before I was diagnosed last year with fibro, my family often thought it funny that I would forget little things. However, recently it seems that the hubby and daughters are turning it back at me and using it as a weapon for their own devices. Let me explain.
There have been several instances lately where my family would claim they told me something, or that I agreed to something, when I know 100%, without a doubt, that it's not true. I have been working diligently to make a point of either remembering something, or writing it down in a place I can easily reach when I feel I might forget something important. I have suspected for the last few weeks that my family has been forgetting THEMSELVES to tell me something or have me do something, then blame my faulty memory when it doesn't get taken care of. The final straw came yesterday.
We rent movies frequently from those Redbox movie boxes at a local convenience store. The last couple we rented were due back yesterday, and it's usually my husband who returns them, because he likes to immediately rent out more while he's there. I took my younger daughter with me to go pick up her best friend at her friend's house to have a sleepover at my place. When I got home, my older daughter, who had been at home watching TV with her dad when I left, was just pulling up in her car right behind me as I parked. I asked where she went, and she laughed and said she had to drop off the movies that I had "forgotten" to take. I reminded her I couldn't have forgotten as I never agreed to take them in the first place. I HAD said I would drop off a couple of trash bags at the community dumpster on my way out (it's not very close to my apartment, and because we live on the third floor, we tend to take several bags at once instead of several different trips and do some considerable walking to another building), but that there was never any discussion about me returning any DVD's. She became kind of petulant and said, "No, you said you would take them back. You just don't remember it because of your memory problems. I can't help it that you forget things like that." I was so mad at her!!! I love my daughter unconditionally, but I know for a fact that she got it wrong. I stormed upstairs and asked my husband, and even he admitted he didn't remember me saying anything about returning them. He then used that tone on me that I hate, telling me to calm down, and not to worry because it's not a big deal.
I know it seems like such a little thing, them thinking I had forgotten to return a couple of movies, but it means a lot to me. When I was first diagnosed, and found that my memory problems were more than likely caused by the fibro fog, my family seemed accepting and willing to help. Now, I get snide comments (you'd better write it down-we don't want you forgetting again, do we?) and reminders of my condition in an almost insulting fashion (do you remember that day when we-oh, never mind, you probably don't, so I'll save my breath). I feel like I'm being punished by them, and even excluded at times, because of a condition that I have no control over. Perhaps I'm just taking it the wrong way and letting it get to me, but I'm working hard on getting through every day, and it sure doesn't help when I get treated like a mental patient by my own loved ones. I just don't think they realize the impact it has on my self-esteem when they treat me like a child. I don't want them to just automatically chalk up everything I do in life to the fibro. I promised them that this wouldn't affect their lives, that I would still take care of everything that needed to be taken care of, and that I wouldn't sit down and cry, feeling sorry for myself. More and more lately,though, I do feel like pulling the covers up over my head and crying until I can't cry anymore, but then remind myself that won't accomplish anything. I know I'm whining, and I promised myself that no matter how bad this got, I wouldn't do that. I guess I just needed to vent without my hurt feelings being dismissed as just another symptom of the great fibro monster.
Live, Love, Laugh. We only get to ride this ride once!