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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
My hubby actually asked me how to spell Fibromyalgia and took the time to look it up online!  He said to me "These symptoms describe you perfectly."
Maybe now he will understand that when I am still in my nightgown at 4 p.m. it's not because I am "waiting for him in my lingerie", but because I really don't have the energy to get out of bed!
So, what nice or sweet things do your spouses do to help you out?  
I ask this out of curiosity to discover what modifications other spouses have made to their daily routines to help their favourite Fibromites!  
I am also trying to distract myself from a particularly bad flare with some positive thinking.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 6/19/2009 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
My hubby takes the morning shift with our son, usually letting me sleep until about noon, granted every night when he comes to bed he wakes me up LOL but he doesn't usually sleep as much as I do unless his leg is really really hurting. Unfortunately, with him in the wheel chair he can't do much housework, or drive or do the shopping for me, but he's usually very supportive emotionally. He hasn't looked up fibromyalgia on-line, but he has several friends who have it and talks to them all the time, asking for suggestions on how to deal with me, or it.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

My train of thought derailed long ago, now I take the bus, few more stops, but I eventually get there.

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID

Flexeril 30mg, Celexa 50mg, Despiramine 50mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Calming Sleep herbal suppliment, ActivOn topical pain relief, Melatonin 300mg, B-complex, Diclofenac 75mg, tramadol 50mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 6/19/2009 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok, even though my hubby and I have been experiencing some bumps, I do have to give him props where props are due!

Although he's never done any research on his own about fibro, he has always listened to me about it. And he totally gets the spoon thing-he will say to me "how are you, honey? how's the spoons??" Also, even though he might not be so great about picking up after himself and helping in the house (we're working on it, though!), he is wonderful with our kids. He is always happy to take them to the park, or just out in the yard to play. He is also great about letting me rest when I need to, and will even serve me in bed if I'm having a really bad day. He also takes care of all of the yard work and any heavy lifting, walks the dogs 3 times a day, is happy to give me massages whenever I need them, will bring me tea in the bath, will warm up my bed buddy for me and bring it to me, and will run the errands if I don't feel up to it..So...hmm. I guess my hubby really is pretty great about things. I am so glad I made this list! I have been focusing so much on the few things he doesn't do that I haven't really been noticing all of the things he DOES do!
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 447
   Posted 6/19/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
My husband is wonderful anything we do he always asks if it is going to cause me pain and how can he help he cooks cleans and takes the washing off the line he tried washing once. We are going to give that a miss with only the two of us at home now there is not a lot to do. When we go out he is always careful with where we are walking so I don't fall. He is a out side man he loves to work with his hands but always makes sure I am looked after and if I am having a bad day he gives me flowers. We have been married 19 years in September and I have had Fibro for 16 plus years now. He is my hero.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 6/19/2009 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
He calls during the day to see how I am feeling; he pushed me around in the wheelchair at Disneyland; he goes grocery shopping with me because it is hard for me to do it by myself; he looked up fibro and sent me some great information; he massages my shoulders; he helps with things that I can no longer do; he is very supportive of my use of the cane; he lets me hang onto him when walking if I need to . . . He is a great guy.
Thanks for this positive post, whitehcocchip

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 6/20/2009 12:41 AM (GMT -7)   
WhiteChoc, I am so glad you posted this question. I was going to share the nice things that my boyfriend has done this week. He and I broke up our engagement a year ago, after being together for five years. In that time we had kind of an unhealthy bond. He moved out, we both had a year apart and worked with therapy (separate), and have both grown as people. We just got back together a couple of months ago, and he is coming to terms with understanding my limits, as I am. Today I realized how quickly he has learned - the fact he has opened his mind, coming from a strict Calvinist work-ethical upbringing, is amazing. Wednesday I came home and he had put out the trash and cleaned my kitchen. Thursday he brought home take-out as a surprise because he sensed I didn't want to cook. And today he called me on his lunch break to ask if my day was good and if I had any pain. That is the first time he has shown me he is truly OK with it. He couldn't see thru the phone the big tears I got in my eyes, I knew he didn't to make a big deal about it or make me feel patronized, so I said, "Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?!"

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 447
   Posted 6/20/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi your storu had me in tears my son may have Fibro and he knows what it is his girlfriend gets frighten when things are bad she comes from a family where ever one is well. After we talked she began to understand. My son does not want to know because he has seen how bad I am with it. His girlfriend soon to be wife was glad to talk to me it cleared up a lot of her concerns. The Doctors do not my son to work but it would drive him mad sitting at home all day I surpose at 21 it is hard to hear you are not surpose to work, he has just started a new one he loves. Jo is wonderful about it all now and wants to do everything she can to help him.
Kathy from the wet cold land down under

Irish Babe
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1380
   Posted 6/20/2009 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband is my Sweetheart. He has always been sweet and gentle w/ me. I trust him w/ my secrets and my worries. He has had a rough week w/ me, everyday this wk I had at least 1 dr. appt. I have not driven this wk, due to prob I had last wk, so he had to drive me. The thing is he works nights, so our 'dr appt' time would have been his sleep time. Not one dr was punctual, but my DH never got mad. He said, 'We need to get answers'. Last wk end he and our younger son did the groceries for me, altho they picked up some strange items not on my list, I appreciate that they did it, w/o 'tude.
My mother has been w/ us for the better part of 4 months, while my sister has a complete overhaul of her house. My DH and DM get along well, but she doesn't want to leave the house. My DH and I have one day a wk to spend together, that has been severely limited due to her care. He has never given me or her any 'tude. She needs to taken care of.
He calls me during his break at work, to see how I am doing. It's only a couple of minutes, but I love to hear 'I miss you and I love you'.
He has always been there for me, our children, my parents. When my father was sick and dying, my DH took us up to NYC to the hosp for his surgery, he took my mother up there each Fri to spend the wk end w/ my father. He took us up to NYC each wk for Chemo treatments. He set up stuff around their house when my father came home to die. My DH held me everytime I cried over the death of my father and later the devastation of losing my beloved nephew.
My husband is not perfect, the man does leave his stuff around   smilewinkgrin   but he is perfect to me.  God has blessed me many times over.
Good question, especially this wk end.  God bless.  Alice.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/20/2009 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I like the topic too.
My husband and I have been married for forty years next month. He has seen me through a lot of health crises throughout our marriage.  He is always there and been supportive for me.
The best thing he does for me, well one of the best, is that he offers to buy me dinner whenever I don't feel like cooking.  Cooking dinner is the only thing  I really do now a days.  He has hired a maid to come in once a week to clean the house and that helps tremendously, as I cannot do housework anymore.  He offers to help with any tasks that need to be done, although he is in poor health himself.  I love that man.
Lindaloo yeah
Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

everyday pain
New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/20/2009 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I have posted before,on another wonderful and supportive my DH is.He also help's me with anything i might need.He call's before he leaves work/everyday to see if i need anything,p/u med's,food,stop at store.he has hired a woman that comes and clean's too,and if he can't get to the laundry,he takes it and has it done.He cook's,and acually pick's up his dirty clothes!lol.He is my embarressment about my attire,cane,walker etc..never complain's if i am not up for doing thing's/but does try to keep our marriage of 26 year's fun.He tries to look at all the beauty in life/leave the negative out..minute by minute,hour by hour,day by day.... Love look's through a telescope..Envy,through a microscope. = Josh Billings
fibromyalgia,hypothyroidism,hypertention,insomnia,arthritis,c.f.s.,depression,anxiety,high cholesterol,hip bersitis,severe headaches,degen"disc disease,hystorectomy.i.b.s.gallbladder removal,hyrnia repair,acid reflux,type 2 diabetes,psoriasis,diabetic nuropithy.c.p.s., o'arthritis.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 6/21/2009 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Lindaloo it is so nice to hear that you have been married 40 yrs.

3rd time is a charm for me. I couldn't ask for a better husband. He retired at 52 to take care of me after my 2nd hip replacement. Then he had a quadruple disk fusion, and I felt really bad that I couldn't take care og him. He was back on his feet 2 mos after and was right back taking care of me. The last 5 yrs have been really difficult for me. Him too.
anxiety, avascular necrosis, costochondritis, depression, cfs, hypothyroidism, fibro, gerd, thyroid, uc 
in trying times, don't quit trying          

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