Hi, Ihurt, and welcome! I'm glad you decided to speak up! You know, I do think you are going through some depression. Not a deep depression but you are definitely sad, and it seems you are sad all of the time. You are not alone with those feelings.
My husband died nearly 12 years ago and I miss him terribly. So, I am pretty much alone so I had to create a new life for myself. I try to keep as busy as possible. I do own my home but, like you, am struggling because of the economy but I try to make the best of things. I do take care of my own home and pace myself to keep it clean. It's not spotless but it's cleaner than most of my friends that don't suffer from chronic pain. The "exercise" of keeping up the house does help me maintain strength and helps with the pain. BUT, as I said, you do have to pace yourself. I do take care of the furnace filter but I don't take care of the grass but I do love gardening so I do that.
I also started reading and doing genealogy. These activities I find to be fun and takes my mind off of pain so it fades some in the background. You might like that, or maybe knitting, cross-stitching, things like that. These make you feel like you are accomplishing something and make great gifts, too! I don't sew or use a needle and thread. That's not what I enjoy doing so genealogy is a biggie for me. I LOVE that!
A little paced elbow grease does wonders on a house. This past week I worked on cleaning the baseboards of my home. I would clean for a few minutes and then get on the forum a few minutes. Then clean a few more minutes, etc. You get the picture and I did get a lot done and looking at them clean makes me feel a lot better and less stressed.
So, I guess what I'm saying is try to get moving and make plans for your day. Keep as busy as you comfortably can. Start living your life again. Look at all the good things in your life and try to take care of the things that you are able to take care of. It will make a difference for you and you just might find you are feeling better. Stress causes pain and you are stressing over this. Stressing over things you have no control over is futile. And, things you are stressing over that you CAN control, take care of. You will feel better.
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Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7