Horoscope for fibromites

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2858
   Posted 8/12/2009 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
ARIES:  You are a kind and gentle person and everyone loves your goulash.  People think nothing of 'popping in' unannounced for a quick bite to eat and you accomodate them with grace and elegance.  You will only encounter three shin busters today...the coffee table, open dishwasher and a hassock the hubby used to oil his chainsaw on.  Look down...there is a twenty dollar bill stuck in a wad of gum on your carpet.
TAURUS:  You tend to be a worrier and random thoughts consume you while you are trying to fall asleep.  As you lay there, you wonder if you left the refrigerator door open and if you could have put your missing purse on the roof of your car after shopping earlier in the day, and it flew off into the parking lot.  Not to worry.  If you look in your husbands wallet, you will find five hundred dollars.  He wants you to have it.
GEMINI:  You are a very giving person and people will take advantage of you.  Your friend will leave you sitting on a bench in the mall with their pee pants toddler while they shop.  You will graciously walk the neighbors Great Dane while they are vacationing in the Swiss Alps.  But today it's your turn.  A man dressed like Sherlock Holmes will knock on your door and hand you a quarter he found at the end of your driveway.  Can it get any better than that?
CANCER:  You are extemely gullible and  people are always telling you things that aren't true because they love the look of 'shock and awe' you display with such innocence.  But today is going to be good for you.  When your best friend tells you with her rolling eyes that 'she feels your pain' you are going to put Preperation H in her tooth paste tube.  And...if you look in your e-mail, you will discover you have won the Nigerian Lottery!  Can you believe such luck??
LEO:  You are a great lover and a wonderful friend.  You will happily gimp through Walmart with your sister looking for vacuum cleaner bags.  When you tell your husband..."Get away from me, my hair hurts" he knows because of your good nature you really must be in pain.  Well...this is your lucky day.  By dinner time your hair will not hurt.  There will be a tennis bracelet in it for you.
LIBRA:  You speak your mind and people respect you for it.  Today, when you are walking through Walmart, a young boy in a kiddie cart will scrape the skin off your ankles.  You will clobber the boy over the head with a cucumber and the entire stored who has been maimed by this kid will give you a round of applause and throw you all their loose change.  Oh...you will find your mascara in the pantry next to a can of pineapple.
SCORPIO:  You are an old hippie at heart and have been in pain since a naked stranger threw you on the stage at Woodstock.  You grow your own food and make your own clothes.   For your constant pain, you have your own personal combo of herbs and spices mixed with a tablespoon of Vodka.  It's the nutmeg that really does the trick.  Because you are a free spirit people may laugh at you.  Well...you can laugh back as you are the love child of one of the Doobie brothers.  Yes you are.  Think about the inheritence...just get a DNA test done first.
SAGITTARIUS:  You love nature and spend hours gimping around in the woods.  You can also multi-task and can talk on your cell phone, comb your hair, put on lipstick and eat a Whopper all while driving your car.  Today you will find yourself in Montana after doing all of these things at once.  Not to worry.  Harrison Ford will find you crying by the side of the road and take you out for a lobster dinner.  Then he will fly you home first class.  If you believe that, you have taken your Lyrica twice.  Count your pills.
CAPRICORN:  You are extemely psychic and can connect to the five dimensions of inner space.  Because you are in the deep black hole of the cosmos most of the time, your pain is the least of your problems.  That is not Elvis in your spare bedroom and no one cares about your new book "The Big Foot Trilogy."  Your left shoe is in the glove compartment of your car.  There is a set of keys in your underwear drawer from an old Buick you traded in ten years ago.  Of course, no one needed to tell you that.  Oh, and if you root around really deep, you will find about seven dollars under your couch cushions.  What a lucky day for you!
AQUARIUS:  But of course...you love the water!  But you are sick of the same ole same ole hot bath every night.  Boring.  today, if you go to your local spa store you will see a pile of entry forms for a new $10,000 hot tub, complete with chemicals for life!  Fill out about twenty of them.  Don't worry, you will NOT get phone calls for the rest of your life from salesman trying to sell you gazebos', marble flooring or siding for your house.  You will win the hot tub.  It's in the stars.
PISCES:  Your hips ache and you were up until four this morning wondering if you took one more Advil if you would hemmorhage to death.  So, you spend the morning writing horoscopes for fibromites.  'They Shoot Horses, Don't they?"  NayYYYY   Nay!  Maybe if I go through all my coat pockets I'll find a nickel!

fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Post Edited (vestabula) : 8/12/2009 11:47:58 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 386
   Posted 8/12/2009 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm a Sagittarus,
sounds like I would be a dumb blonde........Oh wait, I am! LOL! :-b
Gimping(sounds about right) around, with my cane, in the woods sounds kinda fun, never been to Montana either.

Thanx for the laugh Donna,

Dx Fibro 1/2008, gastritis
300mg Gabapentin, 50mg Pristiq, Vitamin D3, Menopausal Support Multi-vitamin, Ultracet and/or Fentanyl patch as needed

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17523
   Posted 8/12/2009 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   

I'm Taurus and you described my obcessive/compulsive behavior to a "T"!  LOL 

I loved the one about hitting the kid over the head with a cucumber!  LOL  There have been times.....


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

MT Lady
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 969
   Posted 8/12/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Your wit is absolutely priceless! Thanks so much for the laugh and I am sorry that you were in so much pain last night. If only we could take away each other's pain....if only.... then again, laughter certainly does help, so thank you once again,
Miriam smilewinkgrin

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 8/12/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I too am a Taurus and a notorius worrier. I didn't leave a purse on my car roof and
drive off, it was a gallon of milk :)

It feels so good to laugh!!!!!!


 possible MCTD, Raynauds, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Degenerative
 Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, High Blood Pressure, Migranes and
 Pseudothrombocytopenia, biopsy shows a Scleroderma variant
 MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella, Boniva,Lisinopril, Folic Acid, Flexeril, and
 Vitamin Supplements

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 326
   Posted 8/12/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -7)   
You nailed the Sag to a T with me. Not only have I ended up in Montana (Pablo, Poulson, Ronan area to be exact) but I also had to actually count my pills this morning to make sure that I didn't double dose. Either you are very perceptive or else you did take too much Advil and the hemorrhaging is causing these great delusions.

Irish Babe
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1380
   Posted 8/12/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Donna, you did mean to say that he scraped the skin off my swollen ankles, right? Ok, first, I will deny to the death that I hit that darling, angelic tike w/ the cuke. I would never, ever, ever do something so mean, certainly not w/ witnesses. devil   If ALL those strangers thought I did that and wished to share their small change w/ me, I will accept their kindness. I just have to find someone to p/u the change, cause I can't bend over like that w/o falling on my noggin. Even sadder, I am no longer able to p/u the change w/ my toes - which used to be so helpful on bad days.
I know you said that you have written and published books before, so this isn't meant to put you under any pressure - really.  I personally would love to see you do a book on 'The Joys of Fibro'. The strange things that make up of every day lives. The things we do that make us cry and then laugh, when we think about it later. You have a tremendous sense of humor and great heart.  I admire how you cope w/ things. I know it isn't easy and yet you try to lighten our load and yours w/ your wit. Thank you for that, my friend.
I am so sorry that you are having such a rough day. I wish you pain free days AND nights!!
God bless.  Alice.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41902
   Posted 8/12/2009 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
This was so cute, I really enjoyed it. I am on the cusp of sagitarius and scorpio so I read them both.

Thanks for such a fun thread.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 8/12/2009 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Your Leo version definitely reminded me of myself. Thanks,


American Woman
Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 8/12/2009 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I too am a Taurus and I worry all the time. My hubby said if I didn't have anything to worry about I would worry about that. I checked his wallet, no such luck with the money (LOL) Oh well it sure made me laugh and like everyone says, it sure feels good to laugh.
thanks for chuckle, Donna

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 8/12/2009 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I am a libra.. how funny to read that today ..i went to walmart didn't get the kid with the cart taking the skin off my ankles just one screaming that high pitched yelp they do

iw ould have strangled him .. but its not his fault its the parent

thanks for the laugh
Diagnosed - fibromyalgia 2001
Meds amitryptilene 30mg/day
Lyrica 75mg/day

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 8/12/2009 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Pisces here..that definitely sounds like a night I would have!
"The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth"~Albert Einstein

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 111
   Posted 8/13/2009 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for keeping us smiling. :)

Diagnosed with fibromyalgia February 2008, dysthymia January 2009.
Vitamin D supplements, and Provigil and Temazepam when I need them.
Anti-depressants have been a bust but the rheumy wants to put me on Savella.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/13/2009 9:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I am a kind and gentle person. And people do stop by unaanounced. But, I don't cook very often. Thankfully, my husband doesn't have a chainsaw. I don't have a dishwasher. I wish I had found twenty dollars. Every little bit helps when you have no money.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 8/13/2009 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I too loved this post. But a little disclaimer in here............It WAS Irish Babe who hit that little boy, I just held him for her:) As for the change thrown to me, I just made the little kid pick it up, while I put a bandaid on my ankle. Now what was I in Walmart for???????
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed for my anxiety.  Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 906
   Posted 8/13/2009 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna, thanks for the laugh. I am so happy to be winning a hot tub. That's my dream treatment for fibro. Sorry you're missing so much sleep and in such pain. Maybe some day. Diane
Fibromyalgia since 1984, Sjogren's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Auto-immune eczema, GERD, osteoarthritis, IBS, RLS, sleep apnea

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