With my husband's encouragement, I resigned from my teaching position 2 years ago due to the fibro--I was always exhausted, I hurt so much, the pressure of the job, lesson plans, etc etc---But I miss it. I miss the kids, I miss my identity.
I was very proud of being a teacher. I've been on several interviews (my husband thinks I'm crazy!) but have not been offered a teaching job and I believe it's primarily due to my attendance record as I did take an extended leave during my last year due to the fibro. Could also be my age, as I'm in my 50's.
I am fortunate in that I am working part time in my other field--social work--I work with Alzheimer patients and their families. I have very flexible hours and not as much stress as teaching---but I don't have that sense of belonging, of pride, my identity is gone. I feel like a failure.
Hubby reminds me that I'm forgetting the negative aspects of teaching---all the prep time, administrative BS, grading papers, having to be "on" since "the show must go on" each and every day----I know he's right, but I keep thinking that if I could land a teaching position, that I'd be better since I'd have that sense of belonging again----am I crazy?
My fibro is getting worse . I really don't know if my body could even take the mental and physical stress of working full time again....I tell myself I could handle it, but realisitically, intellectually, I don't know....My head and heart are at odds.
Thank you for reading...
fibro, PTSD, anxiety, severe nerve damage/several surgeries on wrist, TMJ--have titanium disks, depression, mitral valve prolapse.
xanax, roxicodone, melatonin, accupril, HRT