Boy, am I glad the hubby gets about two dozen catalogues a day...What fun to browse through them and discover how many useful items there are to make our fibromite lives so much easier.
I love this one...It's a 'super bright, LED spot light' that attaches to the bow of your glasses! So attractive and you can see your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night with a 6 foot ray of piercing light...no more falling on your face for you! I wouldn't wear this around small children....Yikes! The woman in the picture looks like she is getting ready to perform brain surgery.
Go ahead...eat that whole pie when you are in a flare! Pants extenders..a loop with a button that attaches to your existing button. This also is very attractive and people will only stare at your fly for about thirty seconds thinking 'what the...."
Does the mere touch of your blankets and sheets make you groan in pain? Not to worry. This item is a folding metal arm that makes your side of the bed into a tent! Of course you cannot move a muscle all night as it will collapse. The woman in the picture looks like a stiff on a slab.
I cannot look at this picture without lauging. It's The Deam Combo. An inflatable flocked knee pillow that rides up into your crotch and in between you legs. It looks like a cod plate. The other half of the combo is an eye movement mask. It presses into your eyeballs to prevent them from moving...what? Who cares if your eyeballs move? The eyeball squasher/inflatable crotch pillow...a fibromite 'must have'.
A fan that clips onto your collar. Oh, what a sight to behold. A mini fan blowing the sweat balls off your upper lip as you gimp through Walmart!
How many fibromites need to lift their refrigerator off the floor...All of us do that daily! This steel lever slips under the bottom of your fridge and lifts it 3" giant inches off the floor..how great is that! I suggest you wear Depends when you do this as I think I detect the little missus in the picuture is popping a vessel in her neck...but she IS wearing high heels!
Do fibromites get ear wax? I bet we do! This item looks like an ice pick with a disc on the end to keep you from digging in so deep you drill a hole through your brain. You know we always do that!
Retrieve your cane without bending over...this cane has a toilet plunger looking thing on the bottom that you step on and it pops back up and whacks you in the crotch! Also, if you order now, you will get a cane-spot-light that blinks on and off when you are about to slam yourself into a wall. Now, that, I could use...
A thermostat with monster glow in the dark numbers! If the hubby says I'm suffocating and going to pass out from the heat...You say "yes dear," as he turns it down to 68 degrees...The joke is on him because you can get up once he is asleep and press a button to turn it back to 90 in the pitch dark!
A spring loaded body ejector...you put it under your chair cushion and when you are in a flare and can't hike yourself up....you press this lever and it flings you across the room. Of coure they don't say that but this thing looks lethal.
How many of you just dream of taking a walk wearing your spring loaded tennis shoes? Badoink, badoink, badoink! The sole is about 6" tall so you can reach that can of stewed tomatoes off the top shelf!
Let me know if you would like to order any of these. Nobody but my husband gets catalogues like these. He must have signed up for free vinyl siding in some store...we get every catalogue in print.
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ Meds: Lexapro and valium