The catalogs are coming in ten pound bundles now...the hubby just loves them! Lucky for us all fibromites because the holiday's are approaching and if you are at a loss at what to ask Santa for this year, here are some swell ideas!
A kaleidoscope necklace. This half pound copper/silverplate beauy hangs around your neck on a chain (owie) and whenever you are bored or stuck in a chair with a flare, just pull out the 'tube' and stare at colorful chips swirling around. I know that when I am gimping through Walmart I often tell myself that I wish I had a kaleidoscope necklace to amuse me while searching for the toilet paper.
The magnifying glass watch. If your eyes are blurred and just have to know the time, this watch has a built in maginifier that pulls out like a telescope and adjusts to your eyeball focus needs. The watch crystal is only 1/2" thick. Very pleasing to the eye and coordinates with any outfit. OMG.
Oh Yes..a Mensa 365 Page Brain Puzzle Calendar! It says: 'To answer these questions you must really think. Give your gray matter a challenging workout daily and increase your IQ with questions that may even stump a Mensa Member'. I can't even reset the radio in the car. I would use these little cards to skeet shoot. Double Owie to my fibro brain.
This is for real. "Serotonin Molecule Wall Art." This is a steel sculpture and just by looking at the molecular compound of seratotin (C10H12N20) "you will instantly feel soothed and consumed with joy." As many of you know, I am withdrawing from and SSRI as we speak, and if someone gave me this I would put it on my driveway and back over it with my van until it was a nothing but a twisted pile of scrap. But, that's just me.
Sexy Lingerie Nightshirt. This is a black all cotton shirt that covers your entire body up to your chin and down to your pinky toes. It reads "This IS my sexy lingerie'. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
I love this and it would hardly hurt my wrists at all! A 'Piano Wire Bracelet'! Twelve silver bracelets made of authentic piano wire made to be worn in a cluster! The wires are accented with tiny gold beads and six of the tubes have words of inspiration carved into them! I hope one of them reads "if you are a fibromite, these will slice into your tender skin like a fillet knife." Stay away and give this gift to someone you hate."
I know how hard it is for us to wake up in the morning. However...finally here! The Butler Alarm Clock. First is asks you nicely to wake up in an English Accent. Then it coughs. If you do not respond, it yells. "Get up...get up..your car awaits you!" The voice on the clock is Bristish Actor Stephen Fry (Jeeves of Jeeves and Wooster fame) and he will keep talking until you slam the button down to turn it off. I guess this is a good alternative to the butler I always wanted.
Because we fibromites often sit down to a meal and have forgotten where we put our eating utensils these are a definate 'must have'. The Fork and Spoon pierced earring set. For real...not kidding. They clip off the earring loop and you can eat with them anytime, anywhere. Only a fork and spoon though. If you need a knife you will have to dig your nail file out of your purse. I can only imagine the look on someone's face if you were to do this in Olive Garden.
Finally, because I am taking up too much band width here, there is the Chinese Checker game for one. The instructions alone will send you into a flare. But I guess if you are in a lot of pain and once again need a distraction...play with yourself! Oh...that did not come out right...but you know what I mean. They ARE hand blown marbles, if that makes it worth the forty bucks.
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ Meds: Lexapro and valium
Post Edited (vestabula) : 10/17/2009 11:52:32 AM (GMT-6)