And so now I am here and I don't know how to feel about that.

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/19/2009 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   
First let me say that it is very nice to have found this site. I am just going to say thank you now for being here.
I have had chronic pain for years...sometimes it seems like forever. When it first started I was about 21 ( I am now 32) and it was mainly in my arms. I saw so many doctors and had so many tests. I had been in many car accidents and assumed that that was the cause but doctor after doctor told me nothing was wrong. The pain would subside after 6 to 8 months and I would forget about it until it came back of course. And everytime it came back with new areas of pain chest and then my legs. I had been without pain for almost 2 years when the pain started in my back and legs and once again I assumed that I had done something to my back. I have now been diagnosed with FM. My doctor was not very informative and has been very little help. She basically had her nurse tell me.... well you have this and you can take this medicine. Have a nice day. (yeah....not happy and I am changing doctors. I have an appt at the end of the month) The Lyrica caused severe vertigo and the neurontin made me lathargic so much so that I did not get out of bed for a week. I can not take antidepressants because they make me crazy. I was taking vicodin before they diagnosed me. It didn't get rid of all the pain but it at least helped but they seem to be very reluctant to perscribe it. I am also having alot of muscle spams and twitting. This keeps me awake and I have not slept well in a year. If anyone has a recommendation I am all ears.
I feel so alone and scared and pissed off. I am a single mother of 2 wonderful children and their father is no longer with us. One of our favorite things to do is play at the park and I actively play at the park with then.....slides, monkey bars, games with my kids and other peoples kids......we haven't been to the park in a long time. I have a very physically demanding job and it's all I have ever done but it is becoming harder and harder to do. I get home some nights and just cry because I hurt so much and driving long distances takes everything I have (its part of the job too). Many times I cry the entire time I am in the car wishing it was over. It is effecting everything I do and my children and the worst part is I have to do this for the rest of my life. I wish that I could say that I was ok but I simply am not. When I am alone and given even one second to think.... I can't help it...I just cry. I am not a person who crys but it seems to be all I do now and I hate that. None of my friends understand and they really don't want to talk about it and I don't want to burden them or whine about it but its alwasy there and it won't let me forget about it because even when I am laughing I am in pain. I know that I will eventually accept this because I have to but I don't want to. I want to fight. I want to have my life, not some other life.....mine.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 10/19/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time just now... It's really a stupid disorder... and it seems to bite you the hardest when you really need your strength. I have some ideas that may help you but you may not exactly love them.

• You said you can't take antidepressants. Do you mean SSRI meds? These are really helpful in treating fibro, even at low doses.

• If you absolutely must do a lot of driving you HAVE to get out and walk at a rest area at least every 45 minutes to an hour. If you don't your muscles will hurt more and more.

• Get back to the park and gently do a little with the kids. One of the best treatments for fibro is constant movement. Not strenuous movement but a little all day long. If you can't do the park then there are some gentle yoga moves you can start. They will loosen your tendons up gradually and increase your overall feeling of wellbeing. The are simple stretches and movements, no weird poses or pretzel bends. You can find the moves at Flexibility Series This yoga is great for children as well. Just don't feel bad when they are much better at it than you. : )

• Take a man's long gym sock and partially fill it with about three pounds of rice. (It should be limpy, not super firm.) Knot it. You can heat it in the microwave for 1 to 3 minutes and take it in the car to put across your shoulders, under your bum or behind your neck. You can take it to bed with you and put it at the small of your back. This is a great quick treatment.

• Take hot tub baths or showers to help loosen up the muscles. Light several candles in the bathroom to warm the room while you shower. This prevents chills while you dry off.

• An electric blanket can help prevent muscle cramps from cold sheets while you fall asleep. Just turn it on while you brush your teeth & put on your jammies then turn it off when you get in bed.

• Take Ibuprophen or aspirin WITH FOOD to help with the pain. Go easy on the tylenol because it can cause liver damage if taken for a prolonged time. NSAIDS can cause some GI bleeding but you only get one liver.

• Come back here often and read back in the posts. You'll learn lots of ways to help yourself. You CAN do this and we will help!
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17500
   Posted 10/20/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, and welcome!  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this but we can help you.  You got some great advice from Jeannie.

Be sure to check out the Fibro 101 thread...the first thread on the forum.  There are links to good information about fibro and you will learn a lot there.

I do not take antidepressants either.  Some have good success and others have had problems.  But, they say they help fibro.  I did try Celexa and it did nothing for me so I stopped.  I take ibuprofen with food and extra strength Tylenol along with malic acid/magnesium supplements and vitamin D3.  All of these help with pain and fatigue.  There are links in Fibro 101 about the malic acid and the vitamin D3 supplements. 

I think most of us get the twitching but the muscle spasms really hurt!  My doctor gave me quinine tablets to help with that.  But, once I started taking two calcuim supplements a day, I noticed I didn't have the muscle spasms.  I checked and low calcium can do that.  Also, low potassium can cause muscle spasms.  Potatoes, tea, and bananas have a lot of potassium in them.

Try to take each day at a time.  You are projecting yourself in the future and you don't know what the future holds...none of us do.  There could be a great medication or, better yet, a cure down the road for us.  Instead of thinking how you are feeling, start counting your blessings and that is a real mood-lifter.  Start writing down all the things you CAN do.  I'm sure it's a very long list.

Have you thought of taking online classes and learning a new field of work?  It may take a little time but it could get you out of this job that you don't like and that hurts you.  I think it would be well worth the effort.  Then you could do something where you aren't driving a lot and not having to do a lot of physical things.  It is good to keep moving with fibro so, if you do find work that isn't as demanding, be sure to keep walking and doing gentle exercising.  It really does help with the pain.

I'm so glad you found us and joined in.  I hope you are having a better day today and I hope to hear more from you soon.




Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 10/20/2009 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, and welcome to the forum, there are lots of caring and supportive people here, I really
feel blessed to have found this forum. You are among people who understand what it is
like to live with chronic pain.

Jeannine and Sherrine gave you great advice!

I am so sorry that you are going through so much. Being a single mother is not easy,
been there, I was one until my daughter turned five. She is now almost 34.

Not all meds are the same. I could not tolerate Cymbalta, it made me dizzy and nauseous.
I take a SNRI, Savella without any bad side effects.

Stress makes pain worse, so it is good to find some relaxation therapy, I do deep
breathing exercises and take long leisurely soaks in a hot bath. It is great that you stay
active with your two kids. Finding an exercise that you enjoy really helps.

Sending gentle hugs and prayers. Come back to post often, we care!


MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 10/20/2009 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello and welcome to the family!

First off let me put my 'mother' arms around you and give you a giant 'HUG'. I am in tears reading your story because it is heartbreaking that your life is such a mess right now...and it doesn't have to be that way. Yes, you have fibromyalgia and there is no cure nor a specific treatment...BUT, you can do a lot of things to lessen the pain and create a wonderful life for you and your little chickies.

Next, reread what the gals above have's sage advice! This is a disorder that is sort of "self-help" with the aid of a good doctor. Plus having people around you who truly understand what you are going through is a huge part of the therapy we all get here.'s time to pamper yourself! As a single mom I'm sure you are in need of some 'ME' time. So either try to find someone who will take the kids for a few hours or wait til they're fast asleep and treat yourself to a luxurious bubble bath complete with candles and your favorite book. Ahhh, doesn't that sound wonderful? Your muscles are going wild with pain. The warmth and relaxation will most often lessen the pain. When we get wound up the pain goes up along with it. Ask any one of us here...we all still do it from time to time but hopefully we learn to calm ourselves down sooner and get control of what's happening to our bodies.

When you see your new doctor (great idea! and it's not easy to do) put everything on the table and start anew. You might not be able to take antidepressants but if you haven't tried them in 3-4 years there are new ones out there with less side effects. I had to start at such a low dose that just about all I had to do was lick the lid to get what I needed. But without it I was a sobbing mess. But this is your choice here.

A great way to let your doc know how your pain is affecting you and how intense the pain is would be to keep a pain journal. Below is a link to a free journal you can print. You keep one page for each day...double sided if you can print it that way. You will record when and how intense your pain is, how you try to control the pain, where it is located, your activities at the get the idea. Then, whenever you go to your doctor take your journal with you and ask them to review it for the days since you've been there. If it takes them an hour to read it..oh well! This is YOUR life! Plus if you do take any medications the results will begin to show on the journal pages and it's easier for the doctor to modify how much medication you should be taking.

I do hope you stay with us and keep in touch regularly. We will help you with whatever you need to the best of our experiences and ability. This is a large and unfortunately growing family but we stick together and we will come out on top!

Warm hugs,
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 10/20/2009 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Justanothergirl and welcome to the family. We may not be able to cure your fibro but we can make sure you never feel alone with this monster again. In the beginning it is all trial and error to see what works best for you and you have been given some great advice from the others. Stress is really our worst enemy so please try to relax and destress your life as much as possible. I know that is easy for me to say since I'm not the young single mother of two children.
Start writing a few minutes a night before you go to bed to express your feelings or brain storming to come up with things that may make your life easier, like going back to school.
Find a very good looking single doctor to treat your fibro and make all your problems go away. smilewinkgrin I hope that made you smile for the day. We have to find something to make us laugh everyday or this will get to us.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
Vit D/calcium

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 10/21/2009 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Ohhhh.... you sound so much like me! Looking back, I have also had several episodes of pain everywhere ( feet feeling like they were on fire, tingling fingers, numb face, hips feeling as if they had a blow torch being held against them ) in my life but my "then" Dr and I spent office visits butting heads because he could not see any " genuine " proof of there being something clinical going on. This basically eroded into his treating me like I was a total hypochondriac or person with undiagnosed Munchausen's Syndrome. It was very frustrating. I went through a terrible marriage - 5 years of living hell - and interestingly my symptoms disappeared not long after the moving van (with him inside it ) went around the corner. I wrote the physical stuff off to too much stress and dove back into life as a very content single mom. I now have an awesome new husband, a fantastic job which I love and everything seems terrific... except my body has pooched out once again and I am at home with a terrible flare up. You said it exactly... I am pissed off! While I do - finally, thank goodness - have a wonderful Dr. who is very supportive my progress has been slow and I am also feeling distraught. I cry alot, usually when I am on my own - because like you, I laugh alot on the outside. I'm taking antidepressants ( Effexor once a day ) to help. You're absolutely right, people do not understand this illness or the limitations that come along with it. I shy away from responding to people's general question of "How're you doing?" because I know that they truly do not want to hear 20 minutes worth of me whining about how crappy I am still feeling. Other illnesses are so much more measurable. You incubate, get sick, then recover. It's predictable. This is like nothing else... you just never know. It's like being held hostage by your own body! I totally understand how you feel - I wish I could wave a magic wand over you and make it all better!! This is a great place to get support... everyone here can relate. Hugs... Jan
Live each moment as if it is a gift...because it is.

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