Hey everyone, I'm new here. I suppose this will be a long post, there's a fair bit I need to get off my chest. I hope you guys can relate to me, because sometimes I feel as though I'm the only one feeling these things.
I'm 16 years old, but I've been having symptoms of a currently undiagnosed condition for so many years it's now my life. I feel pain just when people touch me and it gets worse over a few seconds, if that makes sense. I have to go to the toilet way more than is normal, and often I'll leave the toilet feeling as though I still need to pee. I have really bad fatigue, often I'll feel tired all day, and I'm caffeine intolerant so I can't drink coffee to wake me up. I have random pains in my stomach, my legs, my arms. My lower back is often the first place to start hurting if I do anything abnormal, like going out shopping with my Mum or anything. I have bad vertigo, sometimes even while I'm sitting down, and I am always walking into walls or seeing blue overlay type things over my visions from dizziness. Poking myself, especially my arms, can hurt for up to 4 or 5 minutes on worse days. When I press the areas that are supposed to hurt more in people with FMS they can hurt for up to ten minutes or more, especially the ones around the neck and lower back areas.
These are just some of the symptoms, the most prominent, and I've been to many doctors, seen specialists, had numerous tests that all say I'm fine. The problem is I was abused by my stepdad as a kid, so when the doctors listen to me, all they hear is rape victim and not one test is done before they're trying to push me into counselling. I know it sounds unlikely, but I've dealt with all those problems from the rape, and I've gotten over it by myself. It's just that nobody who can help diagnose me will look past it long enough to give me a chance.
I just need to hear that someone can relate. That someone out there feels what I feel, and that I'm not alone. I would give anything to have a diagnosis, to have some kind of treatment. I had to drop out of school, I can't get a job, I can't even get my license because I'm too afraid of hurting someone (if I get dizzy and lose control) I don't have a lot of friends, I hate when my brother has people over because it's so glaringly obvious I go to the toilet every ten minutes (especially when trying to get to sleep)
I don't know what to do. I just wish I could be healthy. But I can't get any help without a diagnosis, and nobody is giving me a fair go. I even got told it's just normal teenager stuff. And the same doctor said that just because I'm not out partying or somewhere my mum doesn't know about
, that I'm not normal, and I must have a mental illness. I just love my Mum heaps, and I don't see the point in late night parties, hangovers and general teenage idiocy that people buy into. I just want a job, a license, and maybe even to go to Writer's school and try and get my novel published.
Does anyone have these problems, these symptoms? If it helps at all, three years ago at school I was in an enclosed shed with people using fibreglass resin in the next room. The smell nearly made me pass out on numerous occasions, and that was when I started getting severely worse and had to leave school.
Any input about
anything would just make me so happy I can't describe it. Hearing from people who know what it's like to be me, because I was beginning to feel like the only one.
Thanks in advance to anyone responding,
Added : I just read the Fibro 101, and to make it more clear, I have about
80% of them. I read stuff like that, and I wish someone could just SEE what is wrong with me. People put so much into what they can see and toss aside what they can't. I probably seem like a callous person from this post but I'm not good with people (comes from being pretty much restricted to my house, all the time.) I'm sorry if that's the case.
I should point out, despite all the things going wrong, I really am a very happy person. I have three best friends, they all know everything wrong with me and help me deal with my worse days. I have the best Mum in the world who will always help me in any way she can. My love in life is writing, so luckily I can still do that. I have trouble with my speech almost all the time, but I can write, and that is enough for me. I don't get depressed, and if I have a pity party day, there are four people ready to make me smile, laugh and just be happy again. I owe them a lot of my happiness and sanity.
Post Edited (earthxmarktwo) : 12/21/2009 7:39:09 AM (GMT-7)