Having really bad day..grrrrr

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 12/25/2009 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
Just writing due to one of the worst days I have ever had. Yep.. tons of pain, but emotionally a wreck. I missed Christmas today at my in-laws with my kids & DH going alone. Talk about crappy. I slept most of the day, then when I did get up the pain was horrible. I was ok, besides the pain at first, then everyone came home. I have now been crying on & off for the last 3 hours. I really think this is the lowest emotionally I have been in all my fibro days of the last 5 years. I have never missed anything as big as this.. it's Christmas! You know it's a bad day when you don't even know what to write. These forums are the only support I have from others that have fibro, so my family really has no clue how depressed I really am over this. My DH is really trying with me and understands why I couldn't be there and keeps telling me to stop beating my self up over it... what a great guy. I feel like I don't deserve him either today. I hate days like this!

Thanks for letting me rant! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a pain free New Year!
Love & Soft Hugs,

Dx with: CFS '09...Fibro '02... Chronic Myofascial Pain '02... Gerd '03...Migraine Headaches...
Restless Leg Syndrome '08...IBS '99...Depression '99...
Early Menopause from Hysterectomy '00..removal of gallbladder '00 and appendix '08

Meds: Fentanyl Patch 75mg, Lidocaine Patch 5mg, Wellbutrin, Zoloft 50mg, Aciphix 40mg, Syntest, Darvoct as needed to help with RLS, Aleve & Tylenol as needed, B-12/5000mg & Folic Acid/400mg

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/25/2009 10:36 PM (GMT -7)   
smile (((((Hugs)))))
So Sorry to hear about your pain I too have been in so much pain today. My DH thinks its the weather that makes me hurt so bad. I went to Christmas dinner but laied on the coutch and felt really bad. People just kept comming up to me askking what was wrong. It makes you feel alone when no one knows how it feels.
Even though its so hard to do we just have to lay down and stop! its ok to do that.. Get some rest.
Please know your not alone I am hurting tonight too...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 12/25/2009 10:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Stacy how awful! I'm so sorry you're having a bad Christmas but I'm so glad your husband's being such a wonderful support to you! I'm incredibly envious! :)

I do totally understand how you feel about missing Christmas! I woke up to see the kids open presents and t ake pics but ended up falling asleep on the loveseat for about 3 hours, camera in hand. Woke up for an hour then slept for another 2. I was in too much pain to change from pjs into clothes, just stayed in pjs all day. I feel like such a slug!

Finally started Christmas dinner around 3:30pm....don't know where I found the strength to cook but I did. The dinner came out great. Then my husband starts in on me because I told one of the kids to go see him instead of taking care of whatever it was myself! He just really does NOT understand how sick I am, how much pain I'm in.....just doesn't understand anythign! How can he complain about that! I simply cannot physically care for the kids most of the time (they're 3 and 4). He stays home with them 24/7 and I know it's a big job, but I am only human and a very sick one at that!

I too feel like this has been on of my worst Christmas Days ever! ((((Hugs)))) to you Stacy! I'm right there with you!

Just so you know, I still work fulltime (but that may be changing shortly), I do all the bills adn financial stuff, I cook 99% of the meals when I'm home, but that's about ALL I can do. In fact, it's actually more than I can do sometimes. I've recently been granted a dispensation from work to work at home much of the time (they want me there at least one day per week though), but just went three entire weeks without even being able to get there at all. I was having vertigo so bad I couldn't get out of bed some days. If I go out in the sun it gets worse, but I have to go out in the sun to go to work! :(

I'm crying now too.....and I second what Stacy said. These forums are the only real support I get; no one else understands what I'm going through except another fibromite (or lupie, or someone with RA, AIH, celiac, etc, etc).

Love you guys!! Merry Christmas, Happy (Belated) Hanukkah, or whatever Holiday you celebrate, and I hope that everyone has a very Happy (and much healthier) New Year!!
Autoimmune hepatitis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's syndrome, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, GERD.

PENDING DX: Lyme disease?? Lyme ELISA positive!

Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Darvon, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Mirapex, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17497
   Posted 12/26/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry to hear these stories.  We look forward to these times with our families and then we can't participate.  I do feel the stress and pressure of these celebrations takes a toll on us.  Then we start to beat ourselves up because we can't do what we really want to with our families.  That just makes the pain even worse. 
Then, there is the weather.  Weather definitely plays a part in fibro.  It can't be too cold.  It can't be too hot and humid.  When the barometric pressure changes it affects us.  So, we don't stand a chance!
But, we do need to read all we can about this illness and totally understand it so we can learn to cope with it.  Many of us have family members that don't understand but please try to not get stressed about that, either.  That will make things worse for you.  After all, if we hadn't experienced this illness, we might not understand either!  YOU know you do all you are able so feel good about that.  You aren't lazy or a slug as someone mentioned.  You are a person living with CHRONIC pain and I think you do a great job under the circumstances.  Give yourselves a big, gentle pat on the back!
Try not to dwell on the things you can't do.  That doesn't help one bit and causes more stress and adds to depression.  Instead, look at all you can do!  There are some people with other illnesses that can't do what  you can do.  You do have many blessings so look for them instead.  This will calm you, put a smile on your face, and will help with depression problems.  A positive attitude is so important with this miserable illness. 
Be sure to pace yourself, too.  If you dive head first into something you will pay a price for it.  I went to DisneyWorld 2 1/2 weeks ago and walked through the entire park.  I didn't think I could do it but with sheer will power, extra pain meds, and some adrenalin thrown in there, I managed to do it and have a wonderful time.  But, I'm still paying the price for it!  But, I did it and have no regrets and would do it all over again if given the chance.  Yes, I have plenty more pain to deal with but I don't think of that.  I think of the great time I had.  Also, with fibro, I know the pain will ease up some once the flare settles down.  That's a plus for us, too.  We can look forward to each new day with anticipation because we just might have a good day tomorrow.  I know I just take it one day at a time and don't project myself in the future.  I know I can handle one day.
So, I hope all of you are feeling much better tomorrow!  We have family and friends that love us and that's reason enough to look forward.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

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