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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 12/30/2009 12:29 AM (GMT -7)   
what an appropriate term.  when i think of the word "flare", I think of a fire that is just starting to build .... becoming powerful and comsuming and dangerous quickly. 
i went from 'ok .. i can handle this' for a long time to 'oh LORD this is killing me' so fast this time.  today i felt like i was wearing a concrete suit.  it's a kind of tired that i just can't explain to anyone in my family.  bone tired. 
one of the children in my classroom ran and jumped on my back when i was tying another child's shoes ... i thought i was going to cry right then and there.  i almost snapped at this little boy .... but I knew he was playing and had no idea how much it would hurt.  they are only 4 years old, and some have emotional/behavioral problems.  so i bit my tongue and swallowed my tears ... long enough to get into the bathroom.  then i just fell apart.  i wanted to sit on the floor .. but worried i wouldn't be able to get back up.  when i came out, my eyes were puffy and red, my assistant could tell i had been crying, i just walked to my purse, took more advil, and tried to smile through the rest of the day. 
i called my mother (thank GOD for her!!!)  and asked her to keep the kids for a while so i could go home and crawl into bed for a bit ... was so tired i don't even remember most of the drive home.  the stairs seemed like too much, so i laid on the couch and passed out for 2 hours .... woke feeling like i could sleep another week .... dragged myself out to get my kids .... was back in bed by 7:30 and now ... can't sleep. 
i'm still trying to be optimistic.  trying to focus on things to be thankful for.  like my mom ... who watched my kids, made our supper, offered to help me wash dishes, etc.  i am soooo thankful for her.  and for my kids ... they are such amazing people.  they just crawl into bed with me when i zonk so early and watch tv while i sleep.  and my dogs .... they are my 'bed buddies' ... they know when i am hurting and follow me around ... staying near ...
oh gosh though, this hurts.  i mean really HURTS.  no one understands ... i mean .. no one in my family or at work.  not my best friend.  everyone thinks i'm 'just depressed' ... (which is bad enough!).  i went to work today looking awful ... cause my arms hurt too much to lift them long enough to do my hair or makeup.  someone asked if i was getting the flu .... i must have looked even worse than i realized! 
sorry ... i am grumbling a lot lately.   i am just soooo tired .... so sore ... so frustrated ... and no one near me understands.  which makes it so much worse. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 12/30/2009 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   
i did manage to fall back asleep ... but it took me almost 45 minutes to get out of bed when the alarm went off just now. i should already be ready for work .. and can't move yet. have to get my kids up and out too ....

I'm shaking all over .... feel like I am going to have a panic attack. Oh come ON Klonopin ... work faster!!!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I can relate to you as a couple years ago I was in the class room with preschoolers and in a great deal of pain. There were days I thought I would die from the pain being so bad. Now I'm out of work because of it, and my life is changing in a new direction as I'm learning new ways to deal with the pain. Learning what I can and can't do. I'm also changing careers which is difficult in its self. Your brave to go every day to put on a smile and to look at the children and give them your all when you are in such pain. You also have support by the sounds of it such as your mother keep her handy! and your staff....let them be your legs so to speak. I wish you warm thoughts and less pain. Maybe using cool ice, with altering heat might help.....

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 12/30/2009 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
oooh, the back hug.... one of my boys is an expert at that, leading in with his head, full force. He is finally starting to get that it hurts Mommy.

(((HUGS))) I really hope this passes for you soon. You know it will. Just try to do the best you can in the meantime.
fibromyalgia and possible trigeminal neuralgia
50 mgs amitriptyline daily, T3s for facial pain (really not appropriate med) and now tramacet

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 12/30/2009 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry your in such a bad flare. That is the great thing about this forum, we understand how the body can go from manageable pain to OMG in a matter of seconds. Fortunately they can go away just as quickly. Your so blessed to have a mother that pitches in like that.
I don't stress when I start to hurt cause I know that is going to make it worse but then I'm not the one that has to face a class room of children everyday. Try to relax and use lots of heat til it passes.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 12/30/2009 1:24 PM (GMT -7)   
well ... i guess in a way i was lucky today. i took my 5 year old daughter to school with me since there is no public school this week. at lunch time, she came down with a fever and a sore belly ... so I got to come home early. not that I am glad that she is sick, but it's about the only way I get a break from work. And she doesn't seem terribly ill as of now ... sound asleep in my bed. The part I am thankful for is that I got to come home and take a long nap with her in the big bed with an electric blanket. I slept for almost 2 hours ... it was heavenly!!! the other plus ... I was supposed to take both boys to the orthodontist after work (more running .... 35 minute drive home, pick up kids, 35 minutes back to town, 45 minutes at orthodontist, rush home make supper .. etc.) and since clara is sick, we cancelled the appts. so i don't even have to go anywhere tonight. yay!!!!!!!

oh I am so glad I didn't have to work a whole day today. and a nap? AND no errands tonight?!? ahhh ..... thankful thankful thankful!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 12/30/2009 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you're hurting. Flares can be nasty. I'm sitting with my bed buddy while I type.
Heat feels so good! If you get a chance, soak in a hot bath and relax, it really does help.
Hope your flare is short lived and you get some rest.

All of you with kids at home, I have such respect for all you accomplish during the day!

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17524
   Posted 12/30/2009 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Flares are really bad and I'm sorry you are going through it but you seem to be handling it with a good frame of mine!  Now THAT deserves a huge, gentle pat on the back! 
When I start to feel a little more pain heading my way, I take medication and that helps keep it under control.  If I wait until I REALLY need the meds, it takes me hours before I even start to feel human.  Don't wait until you are really hurting.  Misery isn't fun.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Ohhhhh...I know what you mean. I have this coworker who won't stop hugging me hard. I wish I could make her understand that hugging hurts most of the time. My sweetheart nephews already learned not to do that since it hurts so much. I'm hoping your flare and my own vanish with the bad weather and the holidays.
Allergies and Asthma my whole life: OTC Wal-Zyr D 12-hour
Depression after surgeries and illness of 2003.
Crohns Dx'd: February 2008: Pentasa
Fibromyalgia Dx'd: July 21, 2009: Lyrica, Cymbalta, Hydrocodone, Prenatal Vitamin

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