It just isn't right.

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 1/16/2010 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Being the oldest child, my SIL is in charge of my FIL's estate. She is being a total witch with a b about everything. She took my husband's key, so now he can't go down there and sit in his dad's apartment. He made a promise to his dad before he died that he would clean his house for him. He wants to do that, but no one will let him into the apartment. It isn't fair that Debbie (my SIL) is in charge when she was never there for dad. She was never there, but my DH was always there. Debbie is making all kinds of decisions, and when Bobby tries to tell her something, she just blows him off. I don't think it is fair. She shouldn't be in charge. My husband and I were there for my FIL when no one else was. When he had a problem or needed something, we were the people he called. I am so majorly stressed right now, and it is causing me to flare. I am tired of all of this. It's all just majorly ridiculous. My MIL told me that nothing can be taken out of that apartment until the state says so. That makes no sense to me whatsoever. She claims that Debbie can't let Bobby into the apartment because she could face a fine or jail. All of this is stupid. I am so mad and so stressed. I don't know how much more of this I can stand.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/16/2010 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I hear you! Sometimes things just don't seem right and this certainly doesn't seem
fair. I can understand why you and hubby are upset. Both of you are grief stricken and I'm
sure very frustrated right now. I am hoping your SIL will take your feelings into consideration.

I don't understand why she wouldn't want the help of family right now. Hope you are able to
work something out with her. I am sorry that you are hurting and will continue to keep your
family in my prayers. Take Care and try to get some rest.

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42063
   Posted 1/16/2010 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Talk to an attorney or probate and find out what is going on.  There could be a very good reason why she can't let anybody in there.  But I think legal assistance would be most helpful to you.  Then you would know what is going on with the estate.  Does she have power of attorney?  Or was she a gaurdian or conservator?  Did he have a will?  Did he owe the state any money and that is why they don't want anybody in there?  There is so much to take into consideration right now.  These matters are never easy. 
Try not to stress out, you will only feel worse.  The cleaning can always wait. 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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