i'm exhausted, and have only been awake for a little while.
i have to take the boys to the orthodontist ... one is 'regular' ... the other is 'extreme' ... they give him codeine ... his procedure is so nasty .... the oral surgeon even offered to numb him every time for FREE because what they do to him is so rough. it makes me want to throw up ... he is so brave .. but it hurts so much.
their dad was supposed to take them today for the first time ... but he called to say that he has to go out of town. so i had to call my boss and tell her i'd be late today. he's never taken them ... reason #29834 why we're not still married ....
work is awful. i mean AWFUL. i broke into tears as soon as i got into my car yesterday. and to top it all off, ANOTHER kid threw up yesterday ... AFTER I held him all day because he was fussy. so, out of 24 on my roster, all but 3 have gotten in now .. including my assistant. my belly hurts.
i haven't really spoken to my husband in days ... i never see him, and when i do, we can't think of anything to say other than stuff like "the car needs to be inspected" or "we're out of cat food".
someone where I work accidentally gave my daughter dairy ... she has allergies ... has been a mess since night before last. actually got in trouble yesterday at school .. for the FIRST TIME ... luckily, i had sent her teacher an email so she knew that Clara wasn't feeling well.
i swear, i'm taking the prozac ... but right now I am so depressed i can hardly get off the couch. you know, it doesn't matter how much medicine i take for depression, life is still tough ... and i think it's normal for my body to react this way. it's like my BODY is saying "Hide in bed!!! Hide in bed!!! Don't go out ... it's scarey out there!!!!"
so .. i'm not really whining .. I'm just thinking that 1) life could be WORSE. a lot worse. 2) I DO have lots to be thankful for. 3) I need to not freak out that i'm so depressed .. because it doesn't have to last forever, and maybe it's a normal response to the way things are going. 4) i KNOW that i am doing the very best that I can, and that's all I can do. 5) there are people who care about me ... even when I am in the pit .... and I need to keep them in mind because it will strengthen me.