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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/10/2010 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sort of going through a crisis! My husband's cousin got really mad at him for some reason, so the *word I can't say on here* called CPS on us. I cannot believe this crap. He told them all this stuff that is so NOT TRUE! So, the caseworker came out today and took pictures of most the house. It wasn't in its best condition, but it has definately been worse. She said it looks like the claim is unsubstantiated and that they get calls all the time because someone is mad at someone else. She has to do a follow-up next week. It's probably going to almost kill me, but I am going to have this house spotless. But right now, I am sooo stressed out and so very very very angry. I just cannot believe this crap. (BTW, I am really having to edit myself right now due to rules.) I could really use some encouragement.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 2/10/2010 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, Things will work out to be OK. The caseworker even mentioned that it looks like
the claim is unsusubstaniated. Don't make yourself sick to get your house spotless, they
know people actually live there.

I can see why you are upset, your husband's cousin must be a piece of work if he gets
his jollies pulling stuff like that. Your husband will have to work the matter out with him,
or completely ignore him... whatever works out for your family.

Hoping things will settle down and you can relax. Sending some gentle hugs.

Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
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getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 2/10/2010 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy,

Please don't get too upset with this, it will just put you into a flare. Do what you normally do and know that the only reason that cps came to your house is because they have to. Once you have passed their inspection, you can always see what you can do to recipricate this action if you feel the need be. He/she can get in trouble for filing a false claim just for spite. I think what he/she did was very nasty and uncalled for. You have a right to be angry, but it wont make you feel any better, so I would try not to think about it.

Take care my friend, try to relax.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 2/10/2010 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
oh NO! Soooo sorry to hear your news. How frustrating! My SIL is a CPS agent, and let me tell you, she can smell a rat a mile away. She has told me that she gets lots of calls that 'get her out of the office and earn her a pile of paperwork all because somebody is being a butt .. and it's NOT the parents in question!"

The bitter, vendictive part of me would be thinking ... slander/liable/pay back. But that part of me only comes out about twice a year ... so I SHOULD be saying something nice instead. HOWEVER ... I can only imagine how you are feeling. There is NOTHING that brings out the MAMA BEAR in me like someone messing with my kids!!!!

Hang in there, don't let the jerk have any more power over you by causing any more stress, love up on those kids of yours and do not worry about a spotless house. (I think that is a sign of neurosis, don't you? really? WHO has a spotless house?) Instead, be yourself. Maybe even have a list of witnesses like teachers, neighbors, church folks, work, your pediatrician ... and be ready to say "HERE is a list of references you are welcome to contact if you have questions about my daily intereactions with my children or other children in our community"

Hang in there lady! I'm thinking about you ....

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/10/2010 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, everyone is right, people do this to try and get even for things all the time. Relax and live your life as normal. This person will get paid back sooner or later. She knows she caught you off guard and things still looked fine to her so don't go nuts cleaning. All your going to do is put yourself in a flare and that person doesn't deserve one little pain from your body over this.
luv and hugs
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/10/2010 6:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm trying not to stress over this, but it is really hard. Can you imagine the shock when I heard that woman say she was from CPS? I had thought he was bluffing when he told me last night that he had called them. My husband told me not to worry about it. He said he was just bluffing. I still can't believe that he actually called them. He made claims like my son climbs out of his crib all the time and that he is either in his crib or in his highchair all day long. He claimed we had no food in the house. This was all so ridiculous. It was such an invasion of my privacy to have some woman come into my house and take pictures of everything. I just couldn't believe it. I still can't. When my husband told her that his cousin had made the call because he was mad at him, she said that they get calls like that all the time. I don't understand how people can be so mad that they would try to get a person's child or children taken away. It's absolutely insane. mom and step-dad's house is always, and I do mean ALWAYS, spotless. He has major OCD, though, and the tiniest bit of mess makes him flip. I have some OCD, but I have had to live with my limitations and realize that my house can't be spotless all the time. I am going to make sure that my house is clean. I am not going to mind if my son's toys are on the floor because, hey, he's a kid who has a lot of toys that he likes to play with. But the kitchen, bathroom, and places like that ARE going to be clean.
The one room she didn't take pictures of was our room. She said that since our son is never in there that she didn't need to take pictures. I was thankful for that because our room is a major disaster area.
I am trying not to stress over this, but it is really hard not to. I really appreciate all the encouragement.
*soft hugs to all*
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 2/10/2010 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, my dad has what he calls CDO. (It's OCD .. but the letters are in the 'right' ... alphabetical ... order. ) I am like that about some things, and I agree, bathrooms and kitchens need to be clean, but I don't do things like scrub my woodwork and steam clean my floors all the time anymore.

Hang in there, you're going to be fine. :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/10/2010 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Sassy....take a deep breath and blow the stress away. What a terrible thing to have happen, but at least you've already heard the case worker acknowledge that it's probably nothing to worry about.

Sit down with your hubby and work out a plan together on how to clean up to the standards you want before the worker's next visit...DO NOT try to do it all on your own. Once this is over, you and your hubby can then address how you're going to handle the situation with the cousin.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but for the sake of your health, try to let the anger go, do what you have to do until the next visit and be thankful you got a pretty understanding case worker for this.

Good luck, and good thoughts going out to you.

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 2/10/2010 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
If she was worried about your house, she would have said something. As long as your house isn't dangerous, you'll be fine.

Don't go nuts about it. You know you are a good mom. You hear horror stories about CPS but most of the time, they are very reasonable. I work with kids and have seen CPS work wonders with a dysfunctional family. They don't expect perfection.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 2/10/2010 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with everyone.  Drats.  That really stinks!!!  I would be angry and hurt, too.
Please try  not to clean up the house by yourself or to do it perfectly.   You are right to leave the toys out.  It must be nearly impossible to have a perfectl clean house all of the time.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/11/2010 12:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I really want to thank all of you for all your wonderful support. I have no idea what we are going to do about my hubby's cousin. I really don't. As far as my hubby is concerned, the cousin is no longer family to him. Neither of us want anything more to do with him. The cousin's mother knows of the situation, so I don't know what is going to go on with that, but as far as I am concerned, he better never contact us again. I won't put up with anyone messing with my family. Doing what he did was way over the line. We are good parents, and to have him call CPS is more than an insult. I won't have any negativity like this around my son.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

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