((((Caligirl))))) I feel your pain! I dont have any advise for you really.
My husband will NOT help out around the house at all and I dont have kids there to mess things up but my husband makes a big enough mess for 4 or 5 kids. I cant deligate the chores... its just me. I do all the cleaning. I have begged him for help and NOTHING. (Ok calming down those resentment issues)
Anyhow, I told him that if someone comes to the door, I refuse to let them in. If the house catches on fire, oh well, firemen are not coming in and seeing that mess and if he passes out. I will drag him out on the porch for the EMS to pick up. I am sick and tired of NO help.
I have decided to take care of MY stuff and put my things away let him wallow in his own mess. He doesnt know it yet, but I am moving into spare bedroom this weekend because I cannot stand the smell of his diry clothes lying around on the floor. He refuses to put them in the laundry hamper and I am NOT picking them up any more. My next move will be out of the house.
Marriage should be a 50/50 deal and if one is sick and not able to do something, they shouldnt be made fun of. When he hurt his shoulder, I helped him, but when I have a flare up, he says well, the housework will wait until you feel better.
I am sorry ... I am just so angry and depressed.