Alice, this is unblievable! You have to be such an incredibly strong woman to bear all of this. I know this has been going on for about a year now, hasn't it? I have you at the top of my prayer list, Kido.
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I do hope they are wrong. You did say they think she "probably" has pancreatic cancer. I know I would want to know for sure so she could be treated appropriately. Comfort, if nothing else. Hospice is wonderful, though, and will be a big help to you.
I totally understant going through all the things and your Mom's favorite songs and pictures. It is so difficult to do after the fact. When my Mom was going downhill, I planned and paid for her funeral. I even picked out her outfit and took it to the funeral home and they held it there because I knew I wouldn't be able to think straight when that ominous day arrived. I'm so glad I did that, too. It made things easier on me and Mom never knew I did that, either.
But, I will be praying that she perks up some and you have some more good days together. Doctors don't know everything. My grandmother was diagnosed, after surgery, with lymphatic cancer. They closed her up and sent her home with six months to live. She died 15 years later of Alzheimer's! So, remember that it's God who is in charge.
Your husband has been through the mill, too. I'm glad the first stent is doing it's job and now they know that second artery a little better and will probably get that stent in with no further problems. We'll keep praying for that, too.
Your sister is suffering from depression that is causing that anxiety. If she has always been a positive person, and probably a strong person too, she was hoping to be able to handle this without worrying you. She knows what you have been going through. But, as time passes, she should get better. I'm a positive thinker but went into a terrible depression for nearly a year after my husband died suddenly. I definitely was not myself but I kept on taking baby steps forward and pretty soon that veil lifted. It does take a while and I'm so glad she finally turned to you. She just didn't want to trouble you or look "weak" to you, I think.
I'm so glad you have your son, though. He really has been a blessing to you, hasn't he. I'm sure you both are drawing strength from one another. This is a horrible time in your life but things do get better. Remember to take one day at a time, breathe deeply, and get as much rest as you possibly can. You can only do so much. Your family totally understands what you are going through with all of this, too. So, be easy on yourself and know that this time in your life will be over in a little while and there are brighter days ahead. I'll be praying for you, Alice, and we are all here for you whenever you want to talk or vent or ask for helpful ideas. Okay? Let us know how things go.
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God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7