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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 2/18/2010 12:14 PM (GMT -7)   
cry I was not sure where to post this, it covers so many topics. I have fibro, mild depression, chronic pain, and anxiety.
Lately I have been so overwhelmed with so many things going on at work but the worse part is HOME. 

I am stuck in this dilapidated pile of sticks that I did not want but husband just HAD to have so he could “fix it up”. Yeah right! He has done NOTHING in the 7 years we have lived there except complain about the fact that so much needs to be done to the place.


Anyhow, a bigger problem, I fear that I have fallen out of love with him. I hate living in that house, he is critical and verbally insulting and he is a slob! It is getting to the point that I get sick to my stomach when I know its time for him to come home. I am trying to make every effort to work things out but I am just getting more and more resentful because I don’t feel he is trying. Any extra money we get he wants to spend on new tools or the barn and now he wants to build this huge shop and buy a new truck. Meanwhile our house is falling down.


He used to be a neat, clean person but now he has gotten to where he doesn’t take as many baths anymore and he leaves his stinking clothes in the floor. (AND THEY STINK BAD!!!) He starts shedding when he comes in the door and he reminds me of pigpen off of Charlie Brown. (There are tools, shoes, and clothes all through the house) I like things neat but because of my health, I am not able to clean up after him like I used to. Not only that, but I am terrible allergic to dogs and he will go play with the dogs at the barn and then come in and I end up having to use my inhaler to breathe. I have even had to go to the hospital; the reaction has been so bad. He told me that if one of us had to go, he was keeping the dog so I might as well find some medication to treat the allergy.


I want out but I have no place to go. I feel trapped! I feel this nasty, moldy, dusty, dog hair infested house is making me sick! I need a safe place to go. I am so down and upset today. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. cry  

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 2/18/2010 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Vent all you want with me girl. I know the feelings. I got him trained now. He's tried some stuff, didnt like it when I did reverse physcology on him, giggles, if they love you they sure dont lik eit when you put your ring in their pocket, walk off and not talk to them. Come to mind, yours needs touch of life. Go to a hotel for a night. You might wan tto try counceling too. Well, him lol. He needs to understand where you are coming from. Keep us posted. Hugggiesss hon
Smurfy Shadow/Desirèe 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops  PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 2/18/2010 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry you are going through all this. My ex husband was alot like that, the one thing i learned from that relationship was to never let then know that you have no place to go because they will use it against you. If you have done all you can to make it work, then start putting back a little at a time that only you know about and when you have enough you can leave. I had to leave because of abuse and this is how i did it.
sometimes men take advantage until you do something to show them what they will loose. And them knowing you have a way out will get their attention. good luck and keep us posted.
 Diagnosed with -FM, Degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis, arthritis, Lupus., undifferentiated connective tissue disease. 
Medications- Plaquanil, 800 Ibuprofen, Lortab, Cymbalta 

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42068
   Posted 2/18/2010 5:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that the first place to start is with some counseling for support. You would have an objective and knowledgable ear to turn to. You can explain your situation and how you feel and they will give you suggestions.

Putting away some money as posted above is a good idea too. So that if that time comes you will be prepared and financially set. Do you have any family that you can stay with if you have to?

Try not to stress, the stress only makes your fibro worse and pain worse. Just try to keep your cool and do things to help yourself.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 2/18/2010 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
hi Daisyj! i'm sorry things are going so badly for you at home. are you able to work full time? i wanted to volunteer but at this point unless i get some pain relief it's just not possible. i know first worrying and stress will definitely make all your health problems worse. more anxiety, more pain, more depression and on and on. that you don't need. not to be nosy but do you work full time? when i was ina horrible abusive(mentally and physically-once he karate kicked me when i was getting ready for wor)k and another time he slapped me in the face right in front of his mother and she didn't even flinch. will you be able to start stashing money away for later? i had a 401k at work, thank God. i ended up having to spending just about the whole amount in a relatively short time but i got away from him. i have 2 wonderful grown sons--rhank God he is not their father. last i heard he was with his 5th or 6th wife. crazy. if you want someone to be there for you it's just me and my little 14 yr. old maltese Laciso if you need me just let me know. keep hope,Donna

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 2/19/2010 5:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the replies. I already have been puting money away but if I leave this is not going to be bluff. ... it will be permanent unless he makes major changes and for a long time!!

I hate to go home! The thought of the weekend is stressing me out except for the fact that I plan to pack some more of my stuff up. I have rented a storage unit. I have been slowly taking a bag of stuff here and there.

Also, I did a year of counsiling, he refused to go. So I feel that I have done my part in trying to make things work.

Right now,.... I just have to breathe... slow deep dreaths. Keep my eye on the plan and try not to get so upset. I wish I had someone here in North Carolina. I am pretty much alone in this.
~Daisy J~
Fibromyalgia, Chronic pain, anxiety & depression and 5 Herniated disc. (3 in lower back; 2 in neck)

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