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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 2/26/2010 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I saw my dr Monday and he prescribed Prednisone for TMJ and the rest of my flared arthritis, I took it once. I picked up my monitor, my desk, surround sound and tower by the monitor cord, before dropping it all on me. Needless to say, my desk top is dead, I look and feel as though I've been beaten with a bat. I called my dr Tues, he suggested that I take the Zanax he also prescribed at the same time I take the steroids, my husband stopped talking to me for two days. I called on Wed and told the dr I simply could not take the prednisone anymore, and that for future refrence, it might not be the best idea to prescribe steroids to a person with anger management problems and a just diagnosed anxiety disorder. I try to joke about it now, having turned into a mini redheaded Hulk, but it hurts to know that the pain I'm in now, I caused myself, I lost years worth of pictures that have no hard copy. Less important, though still aggrivating, I lost my Sims 2 games and World of Warcraft, my stress releavers. At least we have a laptop so I'm not going completely crazy. But I know I'm going through something emotionally, drained and sick and tired of this situation, no money, no prospects of money, my house is a mess and falling apart.
The best part of the last week, today was my son's 5th birthday, I did my best to keep everything inside and make sure he had a good day and I think I did, he wore himself out and was passed out in my bed by 8:30pm smilewinkgrin
I just want to find a deep dark hole, scream myself hoarse and beat my head against the wall until I'm unconscious and don't have to deal with any of this mess anymore.

Sry it's so long guys, I just needed to vent to someone who understands more of what I'm going through than anyone else.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID

Buspar 20mg, B-complex, Lortab 5, Jet-alert, Ibuprofen 800mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 2/26/2010 11:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lola!

I'm so sorry life is miserable for you right now. I do understand having had a few 'meltdowns' myself over time. It's got to be one of the most miserable and helpless feelings there is.

Is there any way you can have some ME time? Maybe for an hour each day, or take a day or two and stay with a relative or off somewhere alone? Steroids can be lifesaving drugs but not everyone can take them. I'm someone who will try what doc prescribes since I do trust him. But if I take something one time and it totally whacks me out...that's it!

I see you have PTSD also. That's a hard one to live with. Some days are OK while others are beyond anything you can handle. Maybe this is part of what's been going on in your life lately? Have you considered changing doctors to someone you are more comfortable with? Just some thoughts.

Please take some time just for you...OK?
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 2/26/2010 11:53 PM (GMT -7)   
mrscavbar, You go ahead and vent all you need to, that is what we are here for. We all have our bad days and just need to get it out to feel better. I'm so sorry that you are going through so much, and we all do things that we know we shouldn't. I tried taking prednisone and i had to stop because it made me sick. atleast you know you can't take prednisone any more. All we can do is ,do the best we can and take one day at a time . I hope things get better for you, and remember we are here for you any time.

 Diagnosed with -FM, Degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis, arthritis, Lupus., undifferentiated connective tissue disease. 
Medications- Plaquanil, 800 Ibuprofen, Lortab, Cymbalta 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/27/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
I totally understand Lola. I can't do the steroid packs if that is what he gave you. They gave my youngest son those when he was a teen and he threw them in the trash, he couldn't stand himself after a couple of days. But they don't seem to bother DH.
Okay, now that the damage is done. You could probably have someone take the hard drive out of your dead computer and salvage your info. I don't know how you picked those up by the cord, I can barely pick them up with both hands.
I hope the xanax helps keep your temper under control.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
Vit D/calcium

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 2/27/2010 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Lola, I hate Prednisone, too.  When I was diagnosed with auto immune inner ear disease, they put me on 80 mg a day for one month to see if it would stop the progression of the disease.  The first couple of days I pretty much landscaped my front yard!  Then it hit!  I got sicker and sicker.  It was shutting down my immune system.  It didn't help with my hearing problems and it took me 4 1/2 months to be weaned off of it.  So, I too avoid that.
I'm sorry about your computer.  Perhaps the things are not lost.  Maybe if they repair it, the pictures and games will still be on it.  I'm not computer savvy but I hope that is true.  I bet you'll start backing up things from now on.
I hope you start feeling better.  Stay warm and try to relax.  You know what stress will do to you.  Tell your son Happy Birthday from me, okay?
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 2/27/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you are dealing with so much! I am sure your son had a great time - it is a good sign when they just collapse :)

I am sure your info can be recovered from the hard drive. Mine completely crashed last weekend, my brother said it looked like what happens when lightning strikes it - completely scrambled. This is my work computer and my backup was three weeks old - did not want to have to recreate three weeks of work over the weekend! He was able to recover everything thankfully. You could even take it to someone and have them just recover the .jpg (picture) files - it shouldn't be too expensive.

Hope things get better. :)
Fibro dx 2004, RLS, raynauds

Nana Monster
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 957
   Posted 2/27/2010 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I can totally relate to the reactions to meds. I did Med paks and got so sick I missed a weeks work. Believe it or not predisone
is one of the very few things I don't react to. For me I use it for voice loss. I used it for so many years that I could tell when the
voice was going to stay stable. Luckily I never had to take it for more than a week. I finally found Yucca Root which is a
natural steroid without the side effects that seem to go along with the reg roids.

Hope things get better. I know what it's like to lose so much info. I had family historys back 3 generations when my man lost
it all on me. Good luck...
Nana Monster

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 2/27/2010 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Firstly, happy birthday to your son...and boy, do I know those days, where I step off the planet and bring everything with me...I am also very sensitive to meds and never know when a new one is Rx'd whether I will be me or one of the 7 Dwarfs...usually Sleepy, but I have done my share of Grumpy...hope you are feeling better and glad you had the good sense to know what is happening to you...3 yrs ago, I was Rx'd a med...two hrs later I am sitting with a beer and a huge bunch of de friend called and asked what I was doing...I told him...he is nurse and told me to stop taking the meds...good call! big hugs, J
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. (Buddha)
Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love. (Laotzu)

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 3/4/2010 9:01 AM (GMT -7)   
On Sunday my son and I traveled 3 hrs to my grandparents, where after the party, I collapsed, my mother and step father had to pick me up. I then had a total and complete meltdown. My mother drove us home, 4.5 hrs in the opposite direction of her home. Monday morning on the way to the grocery store I stopped at an intersection facing a lake, while stopped I wondered what it would take to get my mini van over the curb, through the fence and into the lake. Instead of going to the store I promptly drove to the nearest mental health clinic and got a psych eval. I had my first therapy session Tuesday morning, weekly therapy and anti-depressants and possibly anti-psychotics as well as someone to come to my house a couple times a week and help me clean and do the things I cannot do and help with my disability case are the plan for now. My therapist asked me to start at the begining, which meant I had to go back 22 yrs, and as I sat there and talked and talked and talked, I realized just how much I had gone through and how much of it I still carry with me and that though most of the people that hurt me are no longer in my life, they still affect my life. And I also realized, as I have survived all this &^%$#$ that I do this too, and now I have the best motivation in the world to do so, my son.
My entire family, including my husband, who my mother thought would balk at the suggestion, is willing to go to sessions with me, they say "Whatever it takes" and for the first time, I believe they mean it.

Also, I must say it, if you're like me, and was living a life, a successful life, then one day BAM!! you're so sick and so tired and hurt so much and watch as what you were slowly slips away from you, don't just tell your dr you're depressed, yes an anti-depressant will help, but I know that sitting down and talking to someone about the changes Fibro and other illnesses have forced upon you and your family help so much more. Don't let yourself get to the point I was at, where suicide wasn't just looking like a good idea, but the best option because it is not an idea, it is not an option.

And *big hugs* TY guys so much, for listening and being supportive. I couldn't have made it this far without you all, and you all have a very special place in my heart.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID

Buspar 20mg, B-complex, Lortab 5, Jet-alert, Ibuprofen 800mg

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