How do you cope emotionally?

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Date Joined Jul 2009
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   Posted 3/11/2010 9:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Being a member of this forum I have learned many things. One thing I have learned
is we all have our own time table to mourn the loss of good health. There is a grieving
process and sometimes denial before there is acceptance of our illness.
How do we cope with emotional pain? I admit I will cry from time to time, for me it
is a good release. I call it a healthy cry. Talking with friends and family helps. Exercise
is  definately beneficial for me mentally and physically. Writing poetry is an outlet for my
emotions. Last but not least, coming to this forum gives me the feeling of understanding,
caring and emotional support. I'm still taking one day at a time, trying to be positive.
How do you cope?
Hugs, Robin

Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements

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Date Joined Mar 2006
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   Posted 3/11/2010 9:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Great question, Robin,

For me, total acceptance of my chronic condition has helped more than anything, and it has taken 6 years to get here. Even when I feel the worst I seem to do ok emotionally and I'm sure that it's because I have an angel of a husband, great kids, and a terrific doctor. I'm also retired and that helps more than I realize. There's nothing like support. If I didn't have my family, or if they acted like families of some of my friends and acquaintances, i.e. Okie, I don't know how I would cope.

I cried today, but not because of my situation, but because I learned that my best and oldest friend has incurable cancer and they can't do anything for her. Believe me, the grass isn't always greener.


SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

plaquenil, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, lunesta, cymbalta, vitamin D, Calcium, Multi Vit.

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   Posted 3/11/2010 10:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Great topic Robin!

Acceptance is hard for fact any change in the status-quo is hard on me emotionally. I'm not one to call up friends nor hang out with 'the girls', it's never been my style. For me, first and foremost, I cope with the love of my best friend...hubby. Then I come here to see if there's a way I can offer support or help to someone else who's in pain, frightened or just needs someone to listen. That always makes me feel better if I can offer something. And I also cope by working on quilting. When I'm busy then I can ignore the pain more easily.

There are days I sure wish I knew how to cope better than I do but I haven't figured out what the secret is yet. When I find out I'll be sure to share...if I can remember long enough to get it

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/11/2010 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I have days where I am good and I don't even think about it.Then I have days like the other day.It was so beautiful and I just wanted to go out and hike in the mountains like I used to or go play tennis. When I have days like this I will cry for a little while and then I will pull myself together and remind myself that there are people that have it worse than me.At least I have a husband,3 kids and a family that loves me.

I am finding this forum to be a good place to come and talk and let out some of things that I have inside that nobody else understands. Overall I am trying to have a good attitude even on my worst days. This is pretty difficult as I don't like change but some prayer and positive thoughts definitely help me!!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41907
   Posted 3/12/2010 3:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I cope by taking life one day at a time. One moment if I have to. Fibromyalgia has actually taught me to do this. I use to be a worryier and dwelled on the past a lot. With fibro, I can't do that anymore, so it has in itself helped me to cope with the illness that I got to begin with. This has taken a heavy weight off of my shoulders. On the days that I can't do anything, I do just that. Nothing. I don't take naps though, so I stay out of the bed as much as possible. But there are times, where I just have to lay down.

Telling yourself that it could be worse does help. Reading about people worse off than we are and seeing their accomplishments always helps me. If they can do it, so can I. That kind of attitude does help. Keep trying. Take life one day at a time. Know that there are many others worse off than yourself. Try to enjoy the little things in life. I guess that sums it up.

Plus I got a new puppy. she really keeps me busy and is so sweet. Biting stages though, got to stop that. Getting out with her helps me to get some fresh air. I do walk my other dog daily though.

I hope that this helps somebody.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 3/12/2010 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks CrazyKity and to all of you who wrote here. I am newly diagnosed with FM and still am in a bit of denial. I WANT to believe that this is what I have so I can deal but it's so hard to accept such a life altering syndrome (still can't believe they don't call this a disease). I'm having a hard time coping and on certain days it seems that death just might be easier (I'm a Roman Catholic so suicide is out of the questions) :) I just "feel" that way. I would like to have a good cry but that kicks in an awful migraine. Somedays you just can't win. Anyway, I got WAY off topic here in my complaining. I needed to read these posts to know that people just like me have found a way to deal with this. People who don't like change. People who can't do what they used to be able to. People who don't necessarily have girlfriends to call. We definately run the gambit on this board. Thanks again.

This is no Social Crisis... Just another Tricky Day (The Who)


Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 434
   Posted 3/12/2010 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Journaling really helps me cope.  I also vent to my Mother and sometimes my sister and if It's a really bad time I have a good cry.  Keeping busy as possible also helps me out alot.  This forum has been a big help too.  I still have a hard time with acceptance of Fibro.......One day at a time.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2858
   Posted 3/12/2010 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   

I have to admit that sometimes I don't think I can 'cope' at all. On Monday night I got hit with some kind of flu bug right in the middle of a fibro flare from Hell and I just had to wonder how much more my body can take.  The black eye and lovely cold sore added to the mix along with feeling like there is ice water running through my veins...I mean, the hubby must really be eyeballing me with heated anticipation.  But...I still try to find humor in every situation and I made him take a picture of me in my ten layers and crusty old cold sore for our Christmas cards next year. Hee Hee.  I'd laugh my butt off if I thought I wouldn't break a rib.  But, that's just me.  We all just keep on, keep on.




fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil

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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17524
   Posted 3/12/2010 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I've had fibro for many years so I'm out of the denial stage and have totally accepted this as a way of life for me.  I never have had good health so there are other illnesses that I have had to accept, too.  I accepted them but I don't let them control my life.  I'm stubborn by nature...always have been.....and I NEVER give up.  I was blessed to have this stubborn nature because it sure has come in handy over the years!
Coming to this forum always helps me, especially if I'm in a flare.  This is something constructive I CAN do even though I'm hurting.  I figure, I'll hurt no matter where I sit so I might as well get on the forum and try to help others.  That does help me a lot.
I do take one day at a time but I also have great hope for my future.  I do believe I will regain my hearing.  I do believe that they will find a cure for fibro.  That hope keeps me perking along.  I try to look forward to each new day with anticipation and I have had plenty of times that I've been happily surprised.  So, it's those days I think about and I deal with the bad days one day at a time but looking, with hope, towards the next day.  I don't know if this is making any sense but I hope you understand what I'm saying!  All of the above help keep me going and enjoying life in spite of this crummy illness.  smile
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/12/2010 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a good question. To me it is total acceptance of 'this is my life' like it or not, and I don't, but unless someone comes up with a cure it is what it is, God's will be done. That doesn't mean I don't keep trying to find things that will help me live with fibro and don't do the things I want to do even if it is going to cause me pain or tire me out. I try to put fibro in the background as much as I can. I can do that with the pain a lot more than the fatigue. I count my blessings and I have many to count. I have lost too many loved ones not to be thankful fibro is my biggest problem.
Since I am prone to depression anyway it takes work to keep myself up and not let it get me down and I'm a work in progress. I think there has only been a couple times that I have cried because of fibro. I cry plenty over loved ones that have been taken from us and for those going through worse things than I am.
I guess attitude, faith and my family keeps me going.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/12/2010 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello crazykitty!
 I just got diagnosed with Fibro couple months ago after being in constant pains for 2 yrs. It actually gave me a great relieve that now i know what is going on with my health. I was very happy in a way that it is not deadly. We still going to live and be able to enjoy life; we will have good days and bad days. So i always look forward to "good days" smile
I did went thru the stage of crying and being upset alot because i love sports and being active. I used to play basketball, swim and run quite a bit.  And now i have to take it slow...
But i feel alot better now, i tell myself i still can go for walks and enjoy the swimming pool. My family being very supportive and i enjoy reading this forum. It gave me a lot of good tips.
For some reason i have never thought that talking, seeing mental health clinic would help, i was saying "im not crazy and im not going there" but i work in the hospital now and i have couple people i know from there and i realized that it is not that aweful to just go and try to use psycologist's help. And to my surprise it helped! I actually enjoy going and seeing my doctor, he is very smart and gives me good advices and tips on how to cope with chronic pain. So if u have not try that may be you can consider.
I also like drawing, scrapbooking and decorating. I can spend hours at it, and it takes my mind of aches and pains...
Just having an optimistic outlook on things gives me hope and energy. I have a lot of plans for future, people i love and care for and bunch of meds that keep me going haha wink
Hope it helped! Have a good day everyone and I wish you all ALOT of those "good days" !!!!!!!!
"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."

- Fibromyalgia, PTSD, IBS, Migranes, RLS, back problems
- Lyrica, Adderall, Ambien, Celexa, Norco, Clonazepam, Flexeril, Phenergan, Motrin
- Vit D, Calcium 1200

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 3/12/2010 10:38 AM (GMT -7)   
This is what I absolutely love about this forum. You can put a question out there and people
share their experiance. It is wonderful to know support is here for all of us.

Thank You fibro family, you are the best! Many of us were lurkers before we joined this
forum. So if there are any lurkers out there reading do not be hesitant to join if you need
some advice or support. We really do care!

Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 3/12/2010 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Robin for posting this. For me I guess I got practice with my son. Long story short he will be 13 next week, has mild Cerebral Palsy, Colonic Dysfunction and sensory issues. From day one I knew I would have to develop patience to be able to deal with doctors, therapist, meeting goals, etc. It's been harder for me to accept my condition because I am not used to being taken care of, the nurturer not the nurtured. I cry, laugh, get mad, grieve and everything in between. For me I think feeling, accepting and getting beyond those feelings at that given moment helps. Giving yourself time to accept what you are going through, having good days when you have to ration your "spoons" and those days when you know you've used all your "spoons" before noon can be hard. A walk helps quite a bit, going outside to see the animals (we live on a small farm) family support, support here from all you wonderful people even though I just found you and know somewhere someone is having a more difficult day than I am. I used to crochet and knit a lot, but with the pain in my hands I don't much anymore. So, I took up sewing. It's not as hard on my hands and I still get the satisfaction of starting something that is raw and turning it into something real. The biggest thing I've noticed about myself since I got the official diagnosis is I stop to listen to the birds sing every day. Funny how people are in such a rush that the simple things in life are right at their fingertips.

Take care,

Low Vitamin D


Ergocalciferol (Vitamin D)
Fish Oil-Omega 3
Low dose Asprin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/12/2010 5:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Taking care of a disabled child would be very hard emotionally so you have had a lot of experience Cathie. I hope he is meeting all his goals.
I've been here for about 2 1/2 yrs Robin and I'm still learning new things from the other members and everyone is still here for me when I'm having a bad time. Now you know why we say "we are family". Everytime I say that, that song starts playing in my head, guess it's good something is playing up there. smilewinkgrin
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 447
   Posted 3/12/2010 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
A great question.
Even after 18 years this still gets me down on occasion. But a wonderful husband four great adult children[now 3 of which have fms]
They keep my spirits up having friends who understand is a great help. For me having interest that I can do even on the wost days. I have always wanted to write and with the encouragement of my daughter and a Dcotor I started and now it is something I do to take my mind off the worst of days. My husband will not let me sit a home now and just wollow as he calls it in the pain. Yes I am working well that is a bit odf a stretch. I do volenteer work at our local tourist information/ Woodworks museum. I love it if I am having a bad day we just make a phone call and we have someone to replace me. This gives me a outside interest and I get to meet people from allover the world. I live in a rural town in Queensland Australia.
I think having these things to keep me busy has helped me cope with pain a lot better also having Doctors who want to know what is happening in the world about what other people are using to cope with all the not so lovely things that go with fibro. As of June last year I am only using Baclofen with the fibro and then usually only every second day.

Kathy from the land down under where we have not really seen the sun in the last month with all the rain. But the temp is perfect

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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 3/20/2010 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   

I just take it one day at a time. I have good days and bad days. Yes I cry to the sometimes I hit the wall and come back to reality. 


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1286
   Posted 3/20/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree, this is a good question.  My journey started 3 years ago when my hands blistered for seemingly no reason.  Took a few months but I finally got a diagnosis, porphyria (PCT), turns out that I had Hepatitis C and my liver was not processing porphyrins / ferritin levels very high.  The blisters came out from the sun due to the liver not doing its job.  I had 5 phlebotomies in 10 weeks to reduce the ferritin, then treated with interferon and ribavirion for 6 months.  More or less chemo with an antiviral coctail thrown in.  I was one sick puppy for 1.5 years.
It seemed like I kept having new aches and pains and had every test under the sun but the fatigue was a killer.  I am now 2 years post treatment and am still clear of the hep virus and am actually feeling better that I have in 3 years.  I am just thankful that I got everything under control before permanent damage occured.  BTW I will always have antibodies to Hep c but the live virus is KILLED, thank goodness. 
So all in all I do hurt and am fatigued but I do feel better that I have felt in a long time.
Denise from Pittsburgh, Pa
 ***diagnosis: high blood pressure, gastritis, fibromyalgia, hepatitis (SVR),  disc problems in neck, depression, anxiety & stress
 ***meds: metroplol 25mg, zoloft 150mg, gabapentin 300mg 3x a day, soma, fioronal, tramadol, zoloft.
 ***other supps: calcium, vit D 2,000-4,000 per, milk thistle, vit C &E, acidopholos (sp?),
CO-Q 10,  flax or fish oil, ginsing, magnesium, B complex,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 3/20/2010 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
A lot of the time, I take it one day at a time. There are some days that are better than others. I find that when I am going through an especially rough time, I come here. I know that I will only find understanding and encouragement here. I also talk to my hubby and my grandma. My grandma is a big help when I am in pain because she knows how I feel. I like to write out my feelings or take a drive and sing really loudly to the radio. Sometimes, I just need to lose myself in a good book until I feel better. I also find that my son's smiles and laughter do a great deal to help.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

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