lostnomad, I really feel for what you're going thru. When everything hurts, including your hair and there just seems to be no end in sight, it gets so overwhelming. Add in whatever other stress there is in your life and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster.
Some of the things I do in this situation is to first remove myself from whatever stressful stuff is going on. I will tell whoever is causing me the stress to just back off and give me some time to get grounded. If they can't or won't, I physically remove myself from the situation. I have on a couple of occasions left the house and checked into a motel, just to get away.
Once removed physically from what's going on, I focus purely on me. I soak in a long hot bath and listen to soothing music. I let the music just carry me away and tune my mind out from anything else. Sometimes, stressing thoughts creep back into my head, so I actively acknowledge them and send them away with the promise of reviewing them "later". I do a lot of rhythmic breathing and focus on the sensations my body is experiencing. I try to look and feel beyond the pain, for "other" sensations. Again, this can be very hard to do, but I keep actively trying.
More than anything, I give myself permission to focus on me. I allow myself to be selfish and put myself first. I don't give a hoot about anyone else for whatever amount of time I'm taking my "time out". Sometimes it's an hour, sometimes it's a few days. I refuse to feel guilty and if any dares try to tell me that I'm a horrible person for ignoring them, blah blah blah, I simply let them know that I have reached my limit and need to recharge in order to be available to resolve things. The longer they nag at me, the longer it's going to take for me to recharge - simple as that.
I hope this helps even a tiny bit. I am a firm believer that when stress is attacking, I HAVE to remove myself from the situation in order to regroup. I do it now with absolutely no regret, no guilt and no wishy-washy waffling.
Good luck to you...I hope you are able to start taking control of your body instead of it dumping stress all over you. You can't make every pain go away, but you can reduce the intensity in my opinion.
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pelvic Pain, FAI, Reynauds, IBS, Interstitial Cystitis, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (Surgical Menopause and drug related), plus physically unable to vomit due to Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins...a joy for blood work or IV's)
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vitamin D and Multi-Vitamin daily