Negitive ppl making me sick...litteraly

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New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/17/2010 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new but not new to fibromyalgia. I have battled with it for about six years now...getting worse as time goes by. MUCH worse. The doctor has me on lortab 5 mg 3/day. Does not help much, dose it just to low. He is trying to get my insurence to cover some other meds like lyrica but nothing yet.
My main problem is stress. Stress from those that are around me , that have to be around me. PLEASE tell me how to not let him get to me so bad. Example: if I need to lay down he fusses at me " fine dont spend any time with me, do what you want, I will go somewhere else and find fun" Driving is nonstop fussing over everything, If im not in the mood to watch a movie he throws a fit. Its like this ALL the time, I am not getting into the worst of it.
This is a live in bf so not much I can do to get away, perhaps for a few hours but usually he calls fussing over something small, some stray dog or something . I have a few others in my life who really dont ever stop fussing but not as bad as someone u r around all the time. How do I NOT let him get me stressed out. please give me some ideas. I know its killing me.....sickness wise. I tried lisening to music on my cd player ...with one earphone in and the other to hear him but he wont let me, I cant read when around him because he fusses about " what u dont want to do anything with me" I cannot move, that is not a option at this time. I have to do something though.
I also post on the chronic pain board...most of my pain comes from the fibromyalgia...and chronic pain it is. Been in a cycle for about a month. Sorry to babble.
As I said in the pain board...I dont know how to put the signiture on my post yet but when I figure it out I will add alot more detail to my illness's ect.
Thanks for lisening.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5953
   Posted 5/17/2010 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this with no support. Too bad you can't move out!
    Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17557
   Posted 5/17/2010 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Peace, and welcome!  I'm so sorry you are having all these problems.  Suffering from chronic pain is plenty.  I really wish you could get out of that relationship because I agree with you.  I think you would feel much better.
It this were me, I'd start searching and making plans on how to move out on my own.  It might take time but at least I wouldn't be sitting around listening to this harrassment.  When he starts getting to you, just remember that you will be out of this situation as soon as possible.  That could make you feel better right there. 
Also, consider the source.  He is obviously a very controlling person.  There is no way someone wouldn't "let me" do what I wanted to do.  You are an adult and I know I would ignore him.  I'd have the CD plugged in both ears.  I'd go in another room and read a book.  I'd go for a walk.  I'd be darned if someone would tell me what I could and couldn't do.  He's doing this because he can.  You are allowing him to manipulate you.  One of our First Ladies, Eleanor Roosevelt, said this.  "Nobody can make you feel inferior without  your permission."  This is what he is trying to do to you.  He wants you under his thumb.  You need to put your foot down and not allow that.  You might be surprised how much this behavior might stop.
I don't mean to be harsh but I'm ticked that someone would treat you like this.  The stress is causing you more pain.  It has to stop.
Check out Fibro 101...the second thread on the forum.  There you will find links to good info about fibromyalgia.  Print out some of it and give it to your boyfriend to read.  He needs to know that you are hurting.  If he doesn't at least try, I'd get out of there as fast as possible.  It's a very unhealthy environment.
Please let us know how things are going.  We really do care about you.

Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 5/17/2010 4:28:38 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 5/17/2010 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Peace, welcome! You were given some great advice. The relationship you are in is
definately one of control and it seems like your boyfriend is the one holding all the cards.
You don't have to play his game.

Others really can't create anger or stress in you. You do that to yourself by how you react
or don't react to to their words or actions. You really have more control than what you might
think. Do what you need to take care of you. You are worth it! Wishing you well!!

Hugs, Robin

Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 384
   Posted 5/17/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you are going through this. The extra stress is just too much for you. It would be nice if you could get out on your own. As for other people, if you can cut them out of your life for awhile especiially if it is family. I think family sometimes can cause the worst stress. I have had to cut my parents out for awhile cause of them ignoring my illness.

Take care and try to find some quiet place.
I struggle with FM,Raynauds Syndrome,gastroparesis, IBS and depression. I trust in God with all things. Been a tough journey and it's not getting any easier but thanks to God and my family I am not alone.

New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/17/2010 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for the great advice.

you are very right. I have to take my power back. I think thats hard because this is his house and I thinik a big part of me is him getting fed up with me and wanting me to move which I cannot right now.This is how I lost my power and gave so much of it to him..... However, Like you said, I need to start looking to find a way to move. it might not happen right away but it will help me to know I am working towards it.
Ive always had a hard time with the "not letting other ppl making me upset without my consent" I know its true but it is something I need to work on. The way I react is up to me. I will have a chance to work on that one tomorow.

To have something to look forward getting my own me hope.

Thanks again....I will keep you posted. I will remember your words tomorrow ( hes off work ) and I am sure that alone will help :) Hugs

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17557
   Posted 5/18/2010 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Start searching for a reasonable place to live.  You might be surprised what you find.  Do you have any girlfriends that would want to share an apartment with you?  There are ways of getting out.  I think there are agencies that could help you too.  But staying there has to be so belittling and depressing and that doesn't make you want to get moving! 
Start thinking how you would decorate your place, the things you could do when YOU wanted to do them, etc.  These are positive thoughts and will help you deal with what is happening to you right now. 
But, seriously start searching.  If you need a job, look for that, too.  There are some out there.  My son just was hired and switched positions last week!  Don't tell yourself there are no jobs or there isn't a place you can afford because those thoughts most likely aren't accurate.  The right place for you will come.
Please let us know how you are doing.  I've thought about you a lot since your first post.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

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