something is bugging me

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 5/31/2010 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi - I will try to keep this short!
I will not use my disabled placard in less I need it.  I have been struggling with asking my dr for a permanent one, but finally realized that there will always be times when I need it.  It do not use the van spots unless absolutely necessary.  This is not because I am such a wonderful person - I have friends who use wheelchairs and know many of you use the disabled parking and I want to save the spots for those who need them (and use when I need them).
I am also careful not to judge those who use them even if they do not look disabled because many of you have experienced that and it is hurtful.
A very dear friend had cancer and lost the use of his legs.  He died a month ago.  My hubby is angry with his dad and I do not know what to think.  I try to think the best of people.  Ever since our friend died, we have seen his dad around town parked in disabled parking spots.  Hubby thinks he is using his deceased son's placard.  The dad saw me today hobbling on my cane to my car to the disabled parking spot.  He parked in the spot across from me.  He asked me what was wrong and I told him I have a neuromuscular disorder that causes pain and difficulty walking (my standard explanation).  I said, "I didnt know you were disabled."  He pointed to his head and I said, "really?"  Then he said, "I have a bad back."  I told him I was sorry to hear that and hoped he felt better.  Hubby doesn't believe him.
Since there is no way to know and he may be telling the truth, I should just mind my own business.   There is Karma if it is needed and I want to keep my foot out of my mouth as much as possible!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5951
   Posted 5/31/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Good policy, Sue! Because, as you said, there is karma, and besides, you really never know.
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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 372
   Posted 5/31/2010 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue, I believe that I would do the same thing.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41907
   Posted 6/1/2010 6:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I think you used very good judgement about this situation. He could be using his son's card. But maybe he is hurting. Like you say, sometimes we look normal when we are not.

And yes, I beleive in karma too. Things will work out the way that they are suppose to.

Keep the faith my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 6/1/2010 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds to me like someone's trying to put you in a difficult place. It happens. We are not always privy to what others are experiencing in their lives. Karma...I am not going to believe in it anymore since I've never done anything to deserve feeling like this all the time. My brother actually told me that. He's right. I'm a good person.
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/1/2010 8:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Listen, its best not to judge people who use the disability parking placards. I too, look quite normal getting out of my car and walking up to the store. But , that is as far as I can go before I climb into the electric wheelchairs they have in the grocery stores. I can't walk very far at all. It has been this way for eight years now. I feel sometimes that people may judge me when they see me. But, the don't see me once I get into the store and need the wheelchairs.

Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17524
   Posted 6/1/2010 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   

I've had more people stare at me because I look fine.  When I first got my handicap placard I was only 42 years old.  I was going in the grocery store and some guy walked past me very quickly and yelled at me as he breezed by for parking in a handicapped spot.  I was in Ohio at the time and we had plates that we laid on top of the dash.  He didn't bother to check but accused me.  I couldn't catch up with him but I yelled back for him to call the police on me.  Oh, how I wish he did!  LOL

Remember, these handicap placards have to be renewed.  In Florida it's every six years.  If it is in his son's name, DMV will know he is deceased and he can't get it renewed.  If he truly isn't handicapped, he won't have use of it for very long and he will have to answer for it one day.  So, don't give it another thought.  It's not worth the energy.


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 6/1/2010 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, people have looked at me funny, too, a few times. I did explain to hubby that I do not look disabled all of the time. It is only when I am hobbling on my cane and scrunching up my face. But as we know, we do not always feel the same way all of the time.

In our area and neighboring big cities, we have a lot of people using placards who do not need them. The police cracked down because they were losing revenue at meters and 2/3 of the people were not legitimate. It is sad. I think that is what upsets hubby so much. There are times that I have to turn around and go home because there is no place to park. He worries about me and others who may have the same predicament.

We have been advocates for the disabled long before I got fibro. Once, I scolded a man who parked in the cross hatch and blocked some people in their car who were parked in the disabled spot. I told him "that is not a parking spot and those people cannot get out of their car now. You need to move." and he did.
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