I need to V-E-N-T

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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 704
   Posted 6/10/2010 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
So I just got off the phone with hubby, who was telling me his cousin has been having all this pain (she has her own cleaning business) and she has been to a few doctors and ..you guessed it, she was diagnosed with fibro.
But she is NOT going to accept this and it has to be something else, there is no way she can slow down, she refuses to let this get her...yada, yada, yada....
I took a deep breath and said..."I'm sorry to hear that". I was getting pretty heated in that if felt like "she wasn't going to take it" so what did he think I did? Sit down, pulled up a chair and said "hello fibro...nice to meet you..." I'm like wth?
I told him that I have had fibro for a while and when I first got diagnosed with it I was able to do much more than I can do now and for me its seems to be a progressive disease.
With the type of work she does, I know she must be terrified of the thought of not being able to do her job. I also told him that different people seem to have different stages or levels of Fibro.
I feel bad for her, but I'm like...I don't want this crappy thing either....
Taking it one day at a time.... 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 6/10/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hopegirl, you sound hurt. Sometimes it is easy to assume things, I know that some of my
assumptions were my own misunderstanding. Do you believe that your husband doesn't
think you are handling your fibro well? He could of been interpetting what his cousin said.
Talk to him when he gets home, this may just be a misunderstanding.

Sending gentle hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41928
   Posted 6/10/2010 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Just know that different people handle it differently and we all have different levels of pain. Maybe she doesn't have as much pain and fatigue as you or I do. So she may be able to do more. But I am sure that she will have flares and not be able to do as much as she is able to now.

Try not to feel bad about it. That doesn't help you any, in fact it may make you anxious and anxiety effects us like stress does.

My friend went on Savella and went off her pain meds and adderall. I am happy for her, she seems to be doing well. But I am afraid to change what I have as it has been helping me. Though I still have pain and fatigue. And I don't want to add another medication to the mix. I am on nine different ones now, not to mention my supplements.

Know that we all do understand here and that we all support you. Keep your chin up and keep on keeping on.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5951
   Posted 6/10/2010 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I do understand! My mother in law NEVER remembers what I have, NEVER takes it seriously, and refuses to understand why it takes me a couple of days to unload the dishwasher if I do it alone. My husband got it after a few years. Not that any of us really understands it, but he believes me.
    Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 6/11/2010 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi hope just wanted you to know that I do understand how you are feeling. I too believe this disease is progressive. When I was first diagnosed I continued working for another 9 years. Even though the pain was bad I learned to deal with it. Another problem I had was the fatigue and up until last year I dealt with that but all of a sudden it got so bad that I was barely managing to get to work on time. I am home now and I am still able to get some things done around the house, but I am also able to take breaks when I need them, which is alot more often than what I got at work. I hope your sister-in-law is able to work for a long time but dont let that get you down. We are all different in how our body reacts to this disease. You know what you are able to do and what you cant. Dont beat yourself up over what others are doing. Just know that we are here for you.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/11/2010 9:19 AM (GMT -7)   
I bet he didn't mean to make you feel bed. He was probably just sharing what his cousin said. Be glad she has a positive attitude. Maybe you can both draw strength from eachother and help him understand. Please make your shared pain something that brings you together, not something that tears you apart.
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