to cope??

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 6/21/2010 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
So I've started having a lot of pain recently, but here's a quick background as to why:

I was with my boyfriend for two years: on Valentine's Day he cheated on me. I had to continue living with him for the next four months until I could move.
Before I moved from Illinois to Pennsylvania, I also developed mitral valve prolapse - a minor heart condition. I missed a day of class for my sign language interpreting class and my teacher told me that I could drop the class or fail it. Not right or just, but nonetheless I had to drop the class which was the only class I needed. So I dropped out of school four weeks short of graduation after I've struggled through school for five years. I was four weeks away and a teacher who seemed to have a bad couple days ruined everything.
I moved out to PA living with my brother, trying to find a job that I can do that won't be too painful. I got here a little over a week ago and the pain in my body has gotten progressively worse and worse and now its almost unbearable. Since I didn't graduate from college and had to drop out, and my health insurance was based on my courseload at school, I now have no health insurance until October, though I still have my medication. (I owe my mom for figuring that out).

So basically - instead of getting engaged and having a bachelor's degree, I'm single, living with my brother, no degree, and in extreme pain. My boyfriend used to give me leg rubs and massages to make me feel better and now I don't have any of that. I'm not sure how to cope, mentally or physically. But I especially wish I could have some advice for the physical ailments. Sometimes I can barely move and I'm 22 - I feel so much older than I actually am. Well, I always do - but now its more pronounced. I try to rub my own legs (I have restless leg syndrome too) but it doesn't really work. Any advice?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 6/21/2010 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Leeriesan, I'm sorry for your pain. The last 4 months were tough on you and stressful.
Stress can really add to your pain. It's no wonder you are hurting.

You would feel better if you could in a regular routine of exercise and relaxation. If you
aren't moving much, you will only hurt more. If it has been awhile you will want to start
out slowly. Choose to do what you like to do and you will be more apt to stay with it.

I'm a walker and it helps with keeping my muscles moving and it is a good way to relieve
some stress. Take long hot soaks in the tub or long hot showers...use a bedbuddy.

Once you start feeling better you will feel more motivated to do whatever you want.
You are young and will find a man that is deserving of you. Remember we are all
stronger than we think. We just need to believe! Wishing you the best!!!

Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 6/21/2010 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Leeriesan, I am sorry your schooling ended so abruptly like that. It doesn't seem fair that a teacher could force you to quit because of one missed there anyway the school can let you finish the class online in your own time to get that degree? I would contact the school and ask to speak to the guidance counsellor to find out.

As for your pain, I know you'll need to wait until you have either the money or the insurance to see a doctor, but you might want to try and find one now and see if you can work out a payment plan in order to get some treatment now. Make sure you take your drugs that you do have as they were prescribed, but the sooner you get in to see someone, the better off you will be. I agree with need to do something to keep your body moving or the pain and stiffness will overwhelm you. Make sure you're using heat as well, in the form of those magic heat bags you microwave, or by making one out of a sock and rice (and some lavender scent to relax you).

You might also find it helpful to do some meditation and/or relaxation exercises. If you are able to, download some free meditation music to your iPod or other MP3 player. Try and set up a routine twice a day of concentrated relaxation (LOL...what an oxymoron that is!). There are some free programs out there of guided imagery relaxation which might be helpful. These might also be helpful for your restless leg syndrome...some other things you can try for that include soaking your feel in cool water before bed, stretching, leg rubs, taking a multi-vitamin, and I've heard taking two aspirin before bed can help (but you might want to check with a pharmacist or doctor about that). Speaking of the pharmacist, they're an excellent source of information and might have some ideas on other things you can try, supplement wise.

As for work, I don't know if you've found anything yet, feeling as you are, but I wish you all the best with that. I know it's a tough market period, and to try and find something you can do without increasing your pain might be tricky, but I'm sure you can do it. Check with local organizations in your area for employment resources, etc.

You've been through a lot of stress with all of these changes, and your body is reacting to them. Start your new life right by doing all you can to relax and treat your body well, and hopefully good things will start happening for you.

Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain (with permanent muscle damage), Femoroacetabular Impingement (CAM and Pincer), Reynauds, IBS, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (both Surgical Menopause and medication related), plus physically unable to vomit due to the Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins with a lot of scar tissue...a joy when it comes to having to give blood or get an IV started

Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT

Medications: Oxycontin, Cesamet, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril and Clonidine plus Laxaday, Vitamin D and a Multi-Vitamin daily

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5951
   Posted 6/21/2010 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you're in such a hard place. You have gotten a raw deal, for sure! I doubt if I could add more to the two ladies who already answered you as far as practical advice...good luck with working it all out.
    Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 6/21/2010 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to say Im sorry for all you have gone through in the last 4 months andfor all the pain you are suffering. Im sorry also that I have no great advice for you but like achey said CrazyKitty and MsBunky had really good advice for you. Hope you feel better soon

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 6/21/2010 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this.  The pain of fibro is hard, but the depression of someone you trusted doing that to you can sometimes be worse - or in our case, make everything worse.  I had a similar experience (although it was before I was diagnosed with Fibro, but after IC and the week of a major organ removing surgery) and we had been together 4 years.  You wonder if you'll ever trust again and just go through this alone.  It's hard when people don't understand what you go through. 
As for your professor, that's unacceptable - had you talked to the school about any sort of disability? I know they allow for that and it just makes me sick - I had the most understanding teachers my last semester I couldn't have asked for anything else - and I am not a pity person so I hated telling them things feeling like it was an "excuse".
In any case, it does get better with may want to talk to someone about your ex because as soon as you are able to start dealing with that, your symptoms may start to decrease a bit.  You also have to give yourself time to adjust to the move and realize you will be able to finish soon and move on.  I'm a PA girl myself, so I understand that right now is a horrible allergy/sinus time for me too which makes my symptoms worse.  Actually, as we speak I can't even sit, lay or wear clothing because the allodynia (skin pain) is so bad it feels as if I was severely beat up.  The others made some wonderful suggestions - especially breathing techniques and relaxation....especially when you feel some anxiety or depression coming on - can help with both pain and anxiety.  I'm in a program now and my biofeedback specialist loaned me a Fibro and CFS relaxation CD that's been wonderful.  there are lots out there.
Just keep your chin up and I feel for you so much having gone through it...just needing someone to be there for you and not having that all of a sudden is hard.  Karma is a b!tch though...sorry, but I speak from experience on that one'll be ok :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 384
   Posted 6/22/2010 12:56 AM (GMT -7)   
So sorry for the broken heart and the pain. Do the best you can each day. Pain is tough, I am in a lot myself. I try with all my might to do what I want to do depsite the pain. Hot showers are nice, heating pads help and somewhere like this board where you can talk to others. Take each moment one at a time.
Fibromyalgia,arthritis,raynauds syndrome,gastroparesis,IBS,depression and roseca
God and Family is my life.

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