Don't mistakenly put grass seed in your bird feeder. They don't like grass seed at all and will poop on your car to get even.
Don't think that mopping the floor by using your foot on a damp, soapy cloth is better than pushing your mop. You with hitch around like Ratso Rizzo for about two days.
Make sure when you use your hair spray, the nozzle is pointed towards your head, not your face. You will laquer your eyeballs shut.
Never strip the bed then answer the phone. When you return at mignight to go to sleep, the thought of doing all that work at such a late hour will give you massive Owie. You will throw a sheet over the mattress and tell the bubby if he can sleep in a tent on a piece of plastic (over rocks and twigs) a 'bald' bed is nothing.
The ultimate shin buster is an open dishwasher door. Look down at all times while strolling through the kitchen. Sometimes it takes weeks for the knots on your shin bone to disappear.
An apple pie made with paprika instead of cinnamon is NASTY. Your guests will eat it but tell all their friends to skip dessert the next time they visit you. That might be a good thing.
Don't take your meds with a shot of Jack Daniel's. You will come home with a tatoo or a saftey pin pierced through your eyebrow.
Memorize your license plate number. Too many silver vans out there. People don't like it when they see you behind their wheel, trying to jam YOUR key into their ignition switch. (serves them right for not locking their doors, if you ask me)
Don't squash a bee on your window with the elecrtic bill.
Make sure there is string in your weed whacker. Swinging that thing for ten minutes thinking you've just let them get too thick...the ultimate DUH and time spent that could have been used polishing your nails.
Have you seen the commercial for the Neck basket???? It's a parody, for Pete's sake. I thought it was real and told the hubby he should get one!!! Don't just look at the picture...you have to listen to the words....really??? Maybe that's why I have a salad shooter.
Dogs hate tomato soup. (and it's so hard to get the stain out of the carpet when they spit it across the room)
Chapstick and a glue stick may look alike at a first glance, but they aren't, of course. Wish the Hubby would keep his school crap off the table....
Okay...any tips from you all???
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ Meds: valium Advil
Reach out and touch someone. If they don't touch you back it's because you still have brownie batter on your face.
Post Edited (vestabula) : 7/22/2010 7:49:15 AM (GMT-6)