Hi... I have joined here a while back.. I read the posts alot and I "think"
this is the first time I am posting.
I read your stories and felt I had to respond.
I am going to be 58 years old, and I am on disability. I worked all my life and when I was 54 years old my husband who passed away suddenly 5 months after I left my job as administrator for 15 years. I had to go on unemployment
sick pay at the beginning and then apply for disabilty from my private insurance at work 3 months later. The month my husband passed away I was 54 1/2 I got a call from disability to see one of their doctors - 3 weeks after he passed away.. and I had no choice but to go.. even if I didn't know what world I was in with my grief of loosing my beloved husband. 2 weeks after that I was accepted for long term disability and have been on it ever since.
The last two years at my job, I would go to work one day and take off the next day.. or I would go in for 3 days and then could not go in for 2 days and this went on and on... luckily I had a good boss. well when my husband and I made the decision that I leave work as each morning I would cry and feel so sick.. it was a hard decision because I loved my job.
I had days at work where my pain was intolerable or I had vertigo of which I have chronic vertigo, menieres, arthritis in my neck and disc probs in my neck that also cause me alot of weakness and vertigo.. so I told my boss and our exec director and they helped me with the disability... and over the years before I left work...I kept each piece of paper that my doctors had on me. I always asked for copies of everything. I also kept a log of all I was going thru... and god bless my husband for putting together my huge disability file for me as I could not even think straight to do it. I also have a generalized anxiety disorder plus many other things.
My primary doctor wrote letters, my rheumy wrote letters, my hypertension doctor wrote letters and my ear nose and throat doctor wrote letters to go with the forms they all filled out that disability needed. and my boss wrote letters to disability to tell them how I was. My husband also wrote a letter as did my close friend.
so that is my story.. it has been 3 years without my beloved husband and I have gone down hill with the anxiety, fibro, neck pain .. became anemic and low in b12....
I have my little dog and she kept me going with my husband gone as believe me I didnt want to go on without him. He was my rock.. he never complained and he always said to sweetheart it is not your fault you are sick. Like I said if not for my little dog who was also my husbands little love I dont know how I would have survived the last three years.
could I ever work again.. no..
each day is a trial for me... I never know how I will feel till I wake up in the morning.
some people understand .. some people do not.. for those that dont.. I have stopped caring if they do or dont.... the people who do are the ones I kept in my life.
I am isolated yes, and I miss my husband as if it were yesterday.
I cannot even take my little dog for a walk and the weather is nice.
I am super sensitive to all the drugs out there for pain and fibro and anything that might make me dizzy is not going to work for me...
so I am caught tween a rock and a hardplace....
one thing I could tell you . all my doctors put anxiety disorder first and then fibro.... they all really helped me..... and as I said above I was lucky I got disability right away. .. no waiting no problems.. I think also
cause I had the help of my doctors and my boss and the fact that my beloved husband died was a factor in me getting it so fast..
that is my story.....sad but true....
Post Edited (STARRY-EYES) : 6/18/2011 5:18:34 PM (GMT-6)