off topic - looking for grief support

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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5948
   Posted 8/30/2010 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
   cry    Hey guys,
Just wondered if anyone knows of a good online grief support group?  I've been helped so much by all of you, and I thought you would be good people to ask.  It's been over 2 years since my mom died, almost 2 for my dad, and I'm still having a hard time.  We were so close.  It doesn't help that I don't have anyone to talk about the old days with, anyone who knew them way back when.  My brother (only sibling) and I have almost no contact, even though he lives a few blocks away.  There is no extended family  :(   Any suggestions?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 8/30/2010 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Debbie, my heart goes out to you...I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing my Dad this
past April, I know how hard it is to lose people you love. Writing has helped me
come to terms with his loss. Do you have many family photos? Perhaps putting
together a DVD of your family's cherised memories will help you. My sister and I did
the initial job of picking photos and music for it. My Dad was able to see it before
he died. I play that DVD often and it is healing.
We are bound by memories, memories that last
to those who still live and those who have passed
We hold what we value close to our hearts
Memories remain when loved ones depart
In our mind's eye, we see clearly
people and places we love dearly
Love can live forever, you know
It lives in our hearts and memories still flow

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 387
   Posted 8/30/2010 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Perhaps starting a scrapbook of their lives?  I make scrapbooks and find that it can hold dear memories of your loved ones.  Putting in photos and journaling about the photo could help talk about memories.  And look into your local hospital.  They have support groups and may have one that can help you with your grief.  Hope that helps.  I am thinking of you.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 8/30/2010 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Debbie, I understand your grief, I lost my dad when I was 13 and my mom when I was 23, so I know how badly their passing hurts. I did a search on the net for grief support groups and I found this one.
I hope it helps but if not you always have us.
Gentle Hugs
DX: Fibro, Gerds, COPD, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, High Blood Pressure, and Depression.
When I get where Im going dont cry for me down here. (Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 8/31/2010 12:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Debbie, I'm so sorry for the losses you've experienced. You might want to contact your local area hospital to see about grief counselling. I know you said you'd like to find an online source, but an in-person group might be beneficial as well.

My heart goes out to you and my arms go around you

DX: Fibro, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Surgical Adhesions, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel (both wrists), FAI, Reynauds, Opthalmic Migraines, Drug Related Hot Flashes, Physically Unable to Vomit due to Nissen Surgery, Extremely tiny and scarred veins (hard start for IV's)

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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 8/31/2010 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your losses. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you find some grief support that you need.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17497
   Posted 8/31/2010 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Debbie, it is so hard to lose people we love so much.  I've lost all of my older members of the family now and I'm the only one left.  I miss my parents a lot.  They were wonderful parents but I try to think about the fun we had and the fact that we told each other that we loved each other.  In some families, that goes unsaid but they all know the love they have for one another. 
Something else that has helped me a lot is that I really believe that we will be together again.  That gives me peace.
When my husband died, my Mom was in intensive care.  I did find a grief support group through my local hospital and that helped, too.  You can talk with people that "have been there" and tears will be shed and then the acceptance will come.  Eventually you will be able to smile about things they said and did...and not have tears, either. 
Remember, your parents are at peace and probably having a great time together.  Some day, I believe, you all will be together again.
Forum Moderator/Fibromyalgia
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 8/31/2010 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a few years ago, and while the acute pain did lessen some for me, I still miss her very much.

If you go to, you can find lots of bereavement resources. I found this site linking from the hospice site:

While I am familiar with hospice and think it is wonderful, I'm not familiar with this particular site, but there is a forum that deals with the loss of a parent. I hope you find peace.

(((Hugs))) - Austen

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1286
   Posted 8/31/2010 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Debbie, my sister died in 1984 in a car wreck, she was 21 and I was 22. I honestly have never gotten over it. But I believe like Sherrine deos that we & our pets will be together again. when one of my cherished dogs die I send them up to find my sis. Below is my favorite poem in the whole wide world:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...
Denise from Pittsburgh, Pa
 ***diagnosis: high blood pressure, gastritis, fibromyalgia, hepatitis (SVR/cleared),  disc problems in neck, depression, anxiety & stress, cervical headaches, porphyria-PCT, IBS
 ***meds: metroplol 25mg, zoloft 150mg, gabapentin 300mg 3x a day zocor , (soma, fioronal, tramadol, as needed).
 ***other supps: calcium, vit D 2,000-4,000 per, milk thistle, vit C &E, acidopholos (sp?),  
CO-Q 10,  flax or fish oil, ginsing, magnesium, B complex,

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5948
   Posted 8/31/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)    Thank you all for your wonderful answers.  I appreciate your thoughtfulness more than I can say. 
Robin, your poem is lovely.  I'm very sorry you lost your Dad, too. 
I do write some (should do more) and I have GREAT intentions to start scrapbooking, too.  I'm looking forward to it.  But I also feel the need to talk about my parents to someone else and there's only so much most people want to hear!  That's why I'd like to be part of a group of people who really understand, like we all understand about fibro (because I'm a good listener, and I'd like to help them, too.)  I suppose I "should" be out of this intense grieving stage by now, but I'm not, so there it is.
I will definitely check out the sources you guys gave me.  Thanks again.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5948
   Posted 8/31/2010 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Me again....
I forgot to say that I'm also sorry for your losses, Shirley, Sherrine, Austen, and Denise.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems!  That and I'm having a bad foggy flare.... 
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