So, I'm thinking there's a 99.9% chance I'll be starting back to work at the end of February if not sooner. And as they say, be careful what you wish for, it might come true...
My degree is in Medical technology. So, pretty much anything lab related, I can do. Some of which, especially in these hard times, is very stressful as hospitals, etc are cutting back by hiring MLT's (2 year degree) to do all the work and letting us MT's (4 year degree) take charge in result reporting, making calls on panic values, and dealing with the disgruntled (is that how you spell that??) patients. Well, the "Old me" (here we go again) would thrive on stress, love the attention, and work a 40+ hour weak and still have enough energy to be the perfect wife, mother, you name it, at home. Well, the "new me" (oxymoron sp??) has NO idea how I will handle the stress, hours, being on my feet this time.
This new position has a lot of up's and downs. A few up's, there's really only one lab test I'll be dealing with as I'll be working in an Oncology practice. So, I can let my guard down some on the rest of the lab. And I won't have to deal with any kids. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kids, but not when I have to chase their squirmy little arm aiming for those tiny little veins, etc. A few downs, I'll have to assist in performing bone marrow biopsy's. And it IS a busy place so I'll be on my feet most (if not all) the time.
Now, they WANT me to work full time. But, I have the option of working PRN. So, my game plan is working PRN intially. And seeing how I handle things, starting out at 3 days a week. I am using my daughter as the excuse (which a lot really is because of her), easing her back into the transition of school and not being up mommy's butt 24/7 . If ~I~ don't handle the stress/hours so well, I'll know I can't progress beyond the PRN. But if it goes really well, and I don't get as stressed as I used to, then I'll try the full time out on a trial basis.
I think the thing that scares me the most, is that in my mind and heart, I REALLY REALLY want to work full time. I want to amount to something (not saying that I don't now) like I used to, but I just have a feeling, based on the events of recent and the fact that I feel like someone beat the crap outta me, my body just can't take that anymore. And I'll feel defeted and well, have a hard time excepting it. Maybe it's good I talk myself through this today and remind myself not to get my hopes too high up