Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about
all the problems you and Jay are experiencing. I have dealt w/ many of these issues w/ my DM and my DH. We rushed my DH to the ER and they missed his HA, as Diabetics can have silent HAs. It wasn't discovered at the time and he was sent back to work - He was just fine! OMG.
Pls get in touch w/ Social Services in your area. They should be able to help you w/ utilities. Your church can also help you w/ money and food.
I know your are scared and exhausted, but this is something that can help reduce your stress in the long run.
My DH now has SSD, but it has been a long fight - and it shouldn't have been. We had to get a lawyer b/c there were so many companies to fight, and there has been so much stress to deal with. All his issues are soooo well documented. Sometimes, these big ins com & employers just figure you will give up. I Don't Think So! It isn't over yet, but we are not going to back down, we are right.
As has been said, get a 2nd, even a 3rd opinion. I know it feels hopeless right now, but pls don't give up hope for either of you. Put one foot in front of the other and make the most of each day. Say all the loving things that are in your heart, share all the fun memories you have.
My DM and DH each made the DNR decision. It is about quality of life.
I've said this before, but I will say it again. I have had some very low times in my life these past few yrs, the ppl here basically saved my sanity, set me back on my feet again. When these things hit, we try to be so strong, but sometimes we also need the support of our friends and family. Karen, We are your friends and family! Pls draw strength from us, we are all sending our love and prayers your way.
God bless. Alice.