Oh my! I am laughing so hard right now. You ladies are great! :) Seriously, 9 easy steps?
Step 1: Loose as much weight as possible, palstic surgery may be like the hairdresser, the longer your hair, the more they charge to cut it
Step 2: Gather up every penny you have saved over your entire lifetime
Step 3: Search the couch and car for loose change...seriously this could be worth $1.50 and every penny counts right?
Step 4: Go see a world renowned plastic surgeon so he can tell you what needs to be fixed in every nook & cranny and point out every line, you'll feel great after this, then he'll give you the estiamte which will amount to what it would cost to send BOTH your kids to medical school
Step 5: Realize you have to go to Mexico to have the surgery, your life savings just wouldn't cut it and someone has been emptying their pockets so the couch came up empty, you can get a bargain there ya know!
Step 6: Book flight & travel to Mexico, ignoring those nagging thoughts about infection rates and lifetime disfigurements "Hey, this is for my boobs right?"
Step 7: Upon visiting the "surgery center" think to yourself "What in the WORLD was I thinking?" And immediately hop on a plane headed home
Step 8: Realize that this whole thing has been compeltely insane and go to Target to buy a sports bra, it's about comfort here ladies! Leave em where they lie :)
Step 9: Destroy all evidence of this article so that your hubby doesn't get any ideas about where perspecective body parts are "suposed" to be..."Hey, are all your parts still as fresh and new as when you were 16 buddy?"
That said, if I ever have the money I am getting a little shaved off the top and having them picked back up lol.
I'm only 28 but I have been <ehhmm> "well endowed" for most of my life, however when they went from (perky) D's and entered the realm of more D's than I'd like and, at times, even letters that shouldn't indicated bra size, gravity began to take it's toll (hey, don't blame gravity, it's not his fault) so the comment about running & black eyes made me think of something that happened recently. I have always joked about them smacking me in the face and giving me a black eye but I never thought it would actually happen, not really! While I was pregnant (they were often a bit fuller and therefore closer to my face, I think) I was getting out of bed one morning and got caught on something and when I jerked free...WHAM! right in the face! Seriously. I was laughing so hard that when my husband came in I was in tears. When I finally was able to answer his confused "What is so **** funny" all I could manage was "OMG it finally happened!" No black eye as I had feared but still...was pretty hilarious.
We are who we are and should be proud because each one of us is beautiful...but it is great to be able to laugh like this. :) Thanks for this!