You sure are in a miserable situation but I think with some outside help you can get some relief. All communities have social services that can help with people who are elderly and who's health is compromised. You can likely qualify for many types of services if he is on medicare, which I assume he is. You can have in-come caregivers come to give you breaks and/or help. It's so easy for a caregiver to get burned out and with that comes another set of problems like feelings of guilt, etc. See where I'm going? Add to that a wildly active case of fibro, way too much noise at high levels and you have a recipe for insanity....if it were me, anyway.
Every community has resources/help for people in similar situations as you. You might ask around senior centers near you, churches or city centers and see what they suggest where you live. I know where I live there are several groups who make sure that anyone who needs help get it. That may be in the form of giving you a break, helping cook meals or having someone take him to a medical appointment.
Below are links to some Medicare information (I'm assuming you live in the US) and a tidbit from one of their information pages. Hopefully you can find some sort of help that they can tailor to your situation. They should be able to get some counseling for him so he can understand that you have needs also. You deserve a life also and do not deserve to have your life destroyed. It's not a crime nor shameful to let someone else care for him and/or get help for yourself. Managing fibro is a full time job! I too have problems with too much noise and the volume of that noise. It makes me crazy.
Taking care of yourself
Medicare covers medically-necessary part-time or intermittent skilled nursing care, and/or physical therapy, speech-language pathology services, and/or services for people with a continuing need for occupational therapy. A doctor enrolled in Medicare, or certain health care providers who work with the doctor, must see you face-to-face before the doctor can certify that you need home health services. That doctor must order your care, and a Medicare‑certified home health agency must provide it. Home health services may also include medical social services, part-time or intermittent home health aide services, and medical supplies for use at home. You must be home-bound, which means leaving home is a major effort.
■■You pay nothing for covered home health care services.
■■You pay 20% of the Medicare-approved amount for durable medical equipment.
Part B‑Covered Services
Home Health Services Medicare covers medically-necessary part-time or intermittent skilled nursing care, and/or physical therapy, speech-language pathology services, and/or services for people with a continuing need for occupational therapy............ Home health services may also include medical social services, part-time or intermittent home health aide services, durable medical equipment, and medical supplies for use at home. You must be home-bound, which means leaving home is a major effort. You pay nothing for covered home health services.
Identify local support services. Local agencies can connect you to services and benefits such as adult day care, respite care (temporary breaks for caregivers), training programs, and caregiver support groups both in your community and on the Internet. To find your local Area Agency on Aging and connect to support groups and other caregiving services, visit the Eldercare Locator at www.eldercare.gov. Identify local respite care providers at the Access to Respite Care and Help
(ARCH) National Respite Network and Resource Center at archrespite.org or 1-800-473-1727.
Ask for help. Speak up when you need support or assistance. Help can come from community resources, family, friends, and professionals. Consider getting help to manage meals, transportation, social activities, and services to assist with other daily needs. Visit “Lotsa
Helping Hands” at www.lotsahelpinghands.com, a free service for creating private online communities where family and friends can stay informed and easily provide assistance to caregivers, share a common calendar, and find additional resources.
Please reach out and find someone to help you. It's hard to feel loving toward someone you truly care about when they are making your own life miserable.
Keep in touch..OK
Moderator on the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain forums
Fibromyalgia, IDDM. UC, , Osteoarthritis slowly meandering around everywhere
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny..." ~Isaac Asimov