I am so sorry to hear that you are having more issues. For the inflammation, have you tried something like Ibuprofen or Naproxen? Also, if you don't have a bed buddy, I suggest you get one. They can be heated or frozen. They are wonderful. You can put it anywhere.
I know it must be frustrating to have so much pain and you just want some comfort. But you can't do what you want because it hurts. I really can understand. All of us here can. I don't think your wife is upset with you. I think she is just worried about your new symptoms and your worsening pain.
If you want another ANA done, then ask for one. If you think of anything, then discuss it with your doctor. I have learned that being assertive is really important when it comes to getting the kind of care that you need.
I really hope you start feeling better and that you get some answers. Please keep us posted.
*very soft hug*