Sorry if this reads weird, having trouble with the margins. Don't
know what's wrong.
Anyway, it's been awhile since I posted anything. I hope you all
enjoyed your holidays.
First, I want to say thank you. When I joined this forum a few
months ago, I was given a really warm welcome. Even when I'm
not posting, I try to check in daily as it's a great source of
comfort and hope for me, especially on my really bad days.
As some of you may or may not remember, I have not been given
an official dx of fibro yet. My Dr. seems reluctant to want to give
a diagnosis of fibro or cfs (or more likely both) as his knowledge
is limited in this area, even after having ruled everthing else out.
So he referred me to a Rheumy. I was supposed to go in Feb. but
they had a cancelation so I went last week.
It did not go as I'd hoped and I left even more frustrated and
confused than ever.
It was, to say the least, the most confusing visit I've ever had
with any Dr.
At the risk of confusing all of you and myself more, lol, I'll try to
keep this short.
After a 2 minute assesment of all of my symptoms, and a 1
minute physical exam which only consisted of a visual inspection
of my joints, no poking or prodding or tender point test, he
concluded with absolute certainty that it is not any autoimune
disease, nor in his oppinion, fibro.
Without further ado, the tears started. I couldn't help it. I knew I
shouldn't have put so much into one visit, but I've been searching
for over ten years. I never learn.
I respectfully told him that I disagreed, that everything else had
been ruled out and all of my symptoms point to fibro.
I started to say that he hadn't even done the tender point test and
he quickly dismissed me. He said he trully believes I am suffering
and have been for a long time, but from what, he couldn't say.
He said he didn't know and Dr's should be able to say that they
don't know. He said it wasn't like Dr's were deliberately holding
back what they knew from me. O.k. now I was starting to feel
demeaned with that comment.
He said he believes that some of it is a low lying depression. How
astute. I should think there would be a bit of that by now.
I told him that maybe to a Dr. it's not a big deal if they don't give
a diagnosis, but to a pt. it's everything, especially when they
have been sick for so long without a name for what's wrong.
He agreed and said "well if you want me to put down that you
have fibro...." huh???? I told him I didn't want him to 'put down'
that I had anything he doesn't believe I have. He said I might, he
wasn't saying I definately don't. It went on like this for a few
more minutes, and my head was spinning.
So basically he wanted to start me on a med called amitryptiline
(sp) to help improve sleep, pain, and it's an antidepressant and
see me back in 3 wks. He also did some blood just to make sure
he "wasn't wrong" about autoimune disease.
I left thinking I would start the med, go back to see him and in
meantime keep searching for another Doc. I went home and
began a frustrating search that turned up very few choices due to
insurance and limited Dr's.
Luckily, my boyfriend had an idea, why not look up Dr's that
specialize in this? So we did and our search turned up Dr's called
physiatrist's who specialize in fibro/cfs and pain management.
I was lucky beyond all and was able to find one with an opening
for this coming Friday.
I will keep everyone posted. This has been a very, very long and difficult road. I'm tired and my spirits have taken quite a few
dings and dents along the way. I've wanted to give up more than
once, but I never will. I am ready however, for this chapter to be
over, and for a new one to begin. I've come a far way with
acceptance and I want to complete it's path. Please keep me in
your thoughts and thank you for reading.
I wish you all a wonderful day.