Sherrine and Maggie, Thank you for writing back. Your encouragement and concern means alot.
Sherrine, I am happy to hear you had loving parents, and how wonderful that your Mom was understanding when you told her you could not care for her. I would love to have the same kind of response from Mom. We know this scenario is coming soon, the one where we have to tell her. Why it feels like a 1,000 pound weight on my shoulders, I'm not sure. But the pressure feels enormous.
It really helps hearing from you, and what you experienced, and also helps more than I can say to hear from people who understand. I can't thank you enough. Maggie, You brought up a valid point about my brothers. You would think with 4 brothers I would have some help. The sad truth is 2 of them have serious addiction problems, one since being a teenager, the other began in midlife after a very successful carreer in car sales management. My oldest brother is Bipolar, and sometimes goes on terrible manic highs which makes these 3 totally unreliable. The only brother I am close to, is 2 years older than me, he was molested as a child from our stepdad, it messed him up, and he wanted Mom to live with him, he really did, but he was in therapy, still is, and his Psychiatrist strongly urged him to not try to live with Mom. This is only the tip of the iceberg concerning him. Seriously though, I have seen for myself, he can only handle her in small doses. He visits her, and once in awhile, a great while, she has went out and spent the night with him, he can hardly handle it. He is very sopportive of Jim and I, and he told us he is very concerned about us, and thinks Mom should be in a facility.
Maggie I cared for Mom for a total of 6 months right after she broke her leg, a month here, and we took her to MD to live with us. They had her so messed up on drugs she should not have been on, it was a nightmare.. she had paranoid thoughts, and actually thought we were somehow taking her money, when the truth was we were going into debt trying to care for her... so she decided to come here and live with her sister. it lasted about 1 1/2 years, then she began talking about how miserable she was there.. her sister was pretty domineering, so me being the dutiful daughter, talked to Jim, and we came here and got this 3 bdrm house with her. I'm trying to condense this, I really am.
She has COPD, diabetes, heart disease, (and a few other things like severe sleep apnea.. just found this out recently.) She can walk now, though her leg is very crooked since she rebroke it, and refused to let the doctor do another surgery. She would not listen to any of us, so now has to use a cane and walker. She gets out of breath just from the slightest tiny bit of activity.
So this is where we are at right now. What you both wrote me means so much... I take encouragement hearing from you, and you have given me a little more strength and resolve to find the best solution for all of us. We know we can't keep the status quo for too much longer.
Thanks for the prayers too, which I know will help more than anything. I will let you know how this progresses.
Sherrine, I pray you are blessed for all the work you do here on this site. With all you deal with I am amazed how you keep this up, but know you are so appreciated. I know it is rewarding for you, and just think, one day you will recieve a heavenly reward too!