I wish I had the answer for you but we have all gone through this. Since we look just fine, people think we are just fine. You can't see pain but, trust me, if they had this pain, they would be squawking! It's flat out ignorance.
You shouldn't be given the third degree when asking for your medical records. They belong to you and no one else. They wouldn't have those records if you hadn't paid for all the testing. Call again and tell them the day you plan on picking up the copies for your rheumatology appointment. When I was planning on moving, I went personally and got my records with no problem at all.
Your doctors shouldn't be asking if you have pain. They should know this already. If they haven't "gotten it" by now, you need new doctors. You need doctors that treat fibro patients. You need to ask before you ever make an appointment. You see, if they don't really believe in this illness and all your tests come back normal (as they usually do with fibro), they think it's all in your head. You need a doctor that understands this illness.
As far as friends, just learn to tune them out. Consider their ignorance of fibromyalgia if you have tried to explain this illness to no avail. I just usually say I suffer from a chronic pain illness and then leave it at that. If they ask questions, then I can try to teach them about fibro. If they act stupid, I just ignore them and change the subject. There is no sense in stressing over this and causing yourself even more pain. YOU know you have this pain and YOU know you are not crazy, either. You couldn't possibly make up this illness!
We do understand where you are coming from. Please don't stress over this. Take one day at a time...plugging right along...and you will be just fine. You will find a good doctor that understands this illness and that's half the battle right there.
Let us know about your rheumy visit because we really do care about you.