Posted 11/2/2012 4:29 AM (GMT -6)
Thought of the day: Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Question of the day: Who's your angelic like hero? Why?
My angelic like hero would be one of my brothers, actually he is my foster brother but brother in heart. I mentioned him a lot here, as I just love him so much and proud of him. He was amazing, just absolutely wonderful. Everywhere he brought the light of the life for people, always smiling and pointing out the best of all situations. While growing up my family was my only friends, I was extremely heavy set. I was closest to my younger two brothers, I'll name them A and B. A being the hero. B was his sidekick :P They made a wonderful pair together, like four of a kind in poker. If you needed food eaten, just hollar they would come running and eat and eat and eat. Never gained a pound, even though they seriously ate like 10 meals a day. A knew what he wanted to be since like 4 years old, a K9 law enforcement officer. I happened to be in the process of joining the ARMY National Guard when A said "I'm joining the ARMY" to me. I asked him why, and he stated "To gain more experience for my career as a K9 law enforcement officer." I chuckled, and said "Ok, whatever you do never volunteer, I learned the hard way. Trust me, in the medic unit I had both the 60 and 40 pound med bag along with other stuff. Keep your mouth shut and always do what you are told." He laughed at me and said ok. He did his boot, ait and went into his MoS (um that is specialty, their job) as a K9 unit. Orders came, he was to deploy with a k9 dog to Iraq. We fought, I didn't want him to leave. It was our first fight, and the last time I saw him alive. I was being selfish, wanting to keep my best friend and brother to me. I also didn't want anything to happen to him, because I loved him so much. He came home on leave, but I happened to be living on the other end of the state and no way to get to him. He wasn't home every time I phoned the house, trying to make things right. He went back to Iraq and shortly after killed by an explosive. Both him, and his dog were killed. Another brother, C, was in Iraq at the same time. He was told by his CO (Commanding Officer) about his brother being KIA along with the dog. Parents were told by Causality Assistance Officers. My mother phoned and broke the news. I remember telling her "that isn't funny mom." She had to convince me it was real. I went in denial, shock. It was like someone instantly ripped my heart out of me and shattered it into thousands of pieces. I didn't go to the funeral, I didn't believe it was for real. A couple of weeks after his death, I had a routine doctor appointment. My doctor asked to make casual talk of my views on the war. I freaked out, then started crying. He medicated me with heavy anti depressants and put me into a mental health program with counseling. He made sure I took my meds by getting the counselor to watch me take it. Thinking back, the doctor probably saved my life. Six months into the counselor with the poor lady she finally got out of me why I freaked out. She had to ask me yes and no questions, and figure out what was wrong with me, as I was in shock and denial. The only thing she had to go on is my doctor saying "I asked her what she thought of about the war and she freaked out." A year after A's death, I realized so many things. That A was gone, but still in my heart and nobody could take that away. I realized what our soldiers, including myself very shortly (I developed acute asthma and medical discharge during boot) do and the freedom they graciously bestow on us. I went to A's grave for the fist time. I spent hours graveside talking to him. It was odd, the sun was out, clear day, no wind, just a wonderful day, the birds chirped. There was a gust of strong wind that made my hair stand on the back of my neck, and the birds all around were louder than I ever heard. My sister had that happen to her too, we believe it is A trying to let us know he is ok. That day, graveside, I realized what A would do if he were alive, as a wounded veteran. He would somehow show support to his fellow comrades. I became an active military supporter through both A's and his dog's name. To shout out to those soldiers facing such horrific measures "hey, I am proud of you despite my losses. Keep it up. Thank you." Every letter, package that goes I sign "in loving memory" then list their names. It is a way to honour A, and show my love as well of thanks.
I know he's watching over me, just like he did as a kid. Always looking out for me. I had a time recently where I needed patience, a lot more than I had. Normally I'm extremely patient. So I went to a flag and sat under it, asking A how he had the patience of an Angel, and that I wish I could be more like him. As soon as I said that, I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and peace. So I know he is still looking out for me, just like he did growing up. I know he gave me freedom. If I could, I would take his place, but God had other plans. I'm thankful to have met him, loved him. He is a true hero and angel. I'm proud of him, and love him.