Im really having a lot of trouble with my fibro right now. Im in a 5 month flare up. Ive lost my job. I dont know what to do. My family keeps telling me to try for unemployment. My grandfather (who is aginst all government assistance) says if I do I will have to take my name of my families farm. I own an acre of land with my parents, my brother does to. Im very confused by this. I dont know what to do. Is someone is on disability are they not allowed to own property? What happens is something is willed to you. (ie. my granparents passing away and me getting the house?) I really am unsure what to do. I am having such a hard time I an need to bring some kind of money in. I jsut applied for unemployment so I hope that goes through. My problem is, is that for the last 7 years my pain has been under control. I have been able to work physical jobs and did a very good job managing. I was a dog groomer and unless I had a day with 22 some odd dogs alot of which being large I didnt have to worry about
not being able to move the next day. This has really been a slap in the face this time. Im having trouble with dizzyness and passing out from the pain getting so bad, Im trying to get into pain managment but I can't get in till march. Doctor will not subscrible pain pills, which I understand to a degree, but everything else we have tried doens't work and at least with the pain meds my pain is manageble and I can move around without falling or having spasms eveyday. I have just gotten a Tai-Chi video and I hope to be able to start doing some gental exercises. The other thing is my family is completly unsupportive. I'm being yelled at almost on a daily bases. The only time I dont feel stressed to the max is when I am able to get to my boyfirends house. He helps me so much, he rubs my muscles and helps me with hot packs and so on so forth.I know the stress is not helping my pain at all. I am hitting 9's on the pain scale almost on a daily basis. A good day right now is pain at a 7. I have been in the hospital 4 times with pain at a 10. I cry almost every day because I want to bad to get this under control agian. For 7 years I have been without meds. And now I am taking 5 different ones. I tried doing somethings that helped me the first time around when I was so bad, I have gotten a few massages..but they hurt so bad right now! My mom wants me to go to a chiropracter...Im not aginst that...when he x-rayed my back it turns out my back is all messed up. Ive lost 15 lbs (which isn't really a bad thing I can stand to lose a lot more wieght) because I am in so much pain that I have no interest in food. Which is wierd for me, I love food. I know I am probly suffering from depression, but who wouldn;t be! I find it hard to stay interested in alot of things I normaly do. I'm fighting so hard, and I just feel like I am fighting a losing battle! Im just so frusterated with myself and whats going on with me.
I want to work, I want to have a life agian. Im so upset all the time about
this. I know I shouldn't be, its just part of it. I know it will pass in time and I will be able to get back to my normal retuine, but Im so tierd of it. 5 months is just to long. It just gets worse and worse. At this point I have the spasms under decient control, but the pain is just so intense and insainly high i dont want to move. Having cloths on hurts, my hair hurts, I feel like someone is trying to rip my skin off! Its drivibng me nuts! On top of that my joints are starting to bug me too. At this point I just have to wait and suffer till I can get into a pain managment place. I'm trying as hard as I can. I just wish my family was as understanding as my boyfriend. I wish they wouild stop giving me such a hard time. I have a dog that is a service dog for me. She knows when my fibro will get really bad. She is constently trying to get me to stay down. Its so hard, I want to be active! Sorry I just had to vent a little.