So I must be hitting a low point right now. Getting frustrated with the way things are. Scrambling for solutions (pain clinic on the 12, ophthalmologist on the 19th - rule out eyes for headaches). Reading, researching, tons of self help books, Dr Oz 2 x a day, Drs visit after Drs visit, post after post. Searching, seeking, praying to find that certain someone who says, "hey, I know what works... All you have to do is XYZ and you'll be cured." could you imagine?? I'd have to be taught how to live again!! I fact, I'm kinda going through that now except it's trying to figure out HOW to still LIVE A GOOD LIFE with this CRAP!!
! Anywho, I'm thinking I need to see a psychiatrist. Why?? Well, I'm still not convinced that I didnt sustain an undetectable brain injury during the surgery when all this started. I'm thinking that more and more because, aside from pain, I have SEVERE motivational issues. I can't breath unless I'm at my comfy couch. I have no desire to DO anything. I know I HAVE TO do stuff. I force myself so I can continue to exist but I HATE everything I have to do. Dinner, breakfast, homework for daughter. To and from school, cleaning, dishes, the mail, coupons, HATE the grocery store. Really anywhere but school and home. I avoid all other places like the plague. Is that anxiety? Probably. Anywho, the point im TRYING to get at, the area they worked closely too during my surgery, if it would have been injured. Even slightly, this backslide of motivation, action is exactly how that area would be affected. I'd like to find a shrink that could agree with me, then work with me on a plan to undo the damaged already done. Wouldn't it be awesome to find someone like that??
I'll press on. If not for me, for my daughter and for all of you. I'd be lost and alone without you all!! Keep smiling!!