Being single/alone with fibromyalgia

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New Member

Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/19/2017 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi guys,
So I know many of you are in far harder situations, like being a single parent and going through this. In light of that I hope this doesn't sound trivial. I'm completely okay usually with being alone but since my fibromyalgia and accompanying autoimmune disease that could cause me to have a stroke on any given day (aps) have gotten worse I have been having a very hard time being alone and staying strong.
I'm usually very independent and don't like to rely on anyone but being a woman in her 20s and living alone whilst sometimes barely being able to get up out of bed is getting really hard. I just really wish sometimes I had a partner who could be there when I need someone. When I'm thinking logically on a regular day though I recognize that I wouldn't like to bring anyone unfairly into this situation to be with someone who is limited right now and who would have to see me go through this. Therefore, if any of you have advice for how to stay strong on my own on days when it's hard I would really appreciate it. Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17895
   Posted 5/19/2017 8:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Blah, and welcome! I'm a senior and live alone. I know all about loneliness. Loneliness can surely drag you down and you can become depressed. Then you don't want to do anything. Plus, staying in bed thinking about health problems surely brings on a pity party. They are never any fun and just makes you sadder and lonelier. It's a never-ending cycle so you need to break that cycle.

What I do is set a goal for the day. Yesterday I scrubbed tile in my pool. It was a beautiful day and even though I was working, I thoroughly enjoyed my time outside. Today I have a few spots on my carpeting so I'll be steam cleaning those spots out. It's not difficult...just a little harder than vacuuming. When I complete my goals I feel so good knowing I am accomplishing things and not just sitting like a bump on a log. I look at what I completed and it puts a smile on my face.

Speaking of smiles, I do that a lot. I can see a person with the grumpiest face heading towards me and all I have to do is smile and say good morning or just nod and their face breaks out in a smile! This makes me feel good. I know many hate grocery shopping but I love it because I make an effort to interact with people through smiling and talking. I'll help people in wheelchairs by getting things they can't reach. I'm not a great help since I'm only 5'1" but I'm better off than they are. Plus it gets me out of the house.

I will sometimes get on the Internet and read about places in the world or I'll check out things I want to know more about. I like to read so I usually have a novel going and I have recorded movies that I enjoy watching in the evening. It's baseball season and I love watching my Tampa Bay Rays and in the fall is football season. I root for the Cleveland Browns and joined a Browns Backer's football club a couple of years ago. We get together at a restaurant on Sunday afternoons during the season (there are about 70 of us) and root our team on. I really try to have plans each and every day. When I wake up, I'm looking forward to the day with anticipation. This makes me happy.

It's so easy to think you can't do things with fibromyalgia. Plus, having other illnesses that you have to deal with, you may think you need to rest. Sitting and laying is very bad for fibro and will cause more pain. You do need to keep moving but pace yourself when doing things. You need to get up and get going.

I have four autoimmune illnesses. (I list my main problems in my signature.). Yes, I do have to work around them occasionally but I refuse to let illnesses dictate how I live my life. I plan ahead on how I will accomplish what I want to do then pace myself when doing things. By doing this, I have lived a full and enjoyable life in spite of my health problems.

You mention an autoimmune problem where you could have a stroke at any time. We don't know what the future holds for us. I could have a stroke while typing this. My mother had a stroke getting out of bed! We can't let these thoughts paralyze us from living our lives. We should aim at taking good care of ourselves, getting a balanced diet and exercise daily. This all helps to keep us as healthy as possible. I walk daily as a gentle form of exercise. Swimming and yoga are good too. When I head out for my walk. I really don't want to go. I hate exercise. But I go because it's the healthy thing to do and, you know what? I come home with less pain and less fatigue! I have more energy, I'm happier, and ready to take on the day! When I started walking, I could only go four houses down and had to turn around but I didn't quit. Now I walk a half an hour and come home and get busy in my home and gardens.

Having a positive attitude has helped me immensely. I look at all my blessings and all the beauty around me and am so thankful. I don't dwell on illnesses. I have my share of those but, as I said previously, I don't let them run my life. I have one time on this earth and I plan on making the most of it. I always have things to look forward to. I have. Memorial Day "water" party, complete with a giant water slide, to go to next weekend and then a few days later I have a dear friend coming here for lunch. I'm making my famous chicken salad which is a favorite of hers. I can't wait to do these things. The reason I can enjoy these is the fact that I push my illnesses to the back of my thinking and bring forward thoughts of enjoying my life.

You do need to find things to help be in control of your pain. If you aren't getting help from your doctor, find another doctor. Many use a board certified rheumatologist. I use a board certified rheumatologist for my ankylosing spondylitis but my fibro is handled by my board certified Internist.

I use ibuprofen with food, Tylenol, magnesium malate, vitamin D3, and a prescription muscle relaxer called Robaxin that has made a significant difference in my pain. I walk daily, do trigger point therapy on myself when necessary, pace myself when doing things, and I get a gentle massage once a month. But, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another with fibro. It's more a trial and error type thing. I will say that many have gotten help with the magnesium malate and vitamin D3 since a deficiency in these can cause more pain.

Be sure to read Fibro 101...the first thread on the forum. There are links to good info about fibro and you will learn a lot there. There are links about vitamin D3 and magnesium malate and how these work in the body and also a good link about how to maintain a positive attitude when you suffer from chronic pain. All of Fibro 101 is good so do read it.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you. Hope to hear more from you soon.


Forum Moderator/Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis, Ankylosing Spondylitis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
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