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hanginin
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 11/30/2017 1:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Morning all, hoping you are coping well.
It’s 3am and I have been up for an hour. Miserable.
I’m not feeling great again. My body is back in the grip.
I did allot yesterday. Too much.
At the grocers by 8am home by 11:30.
Made dinner by 1:00 as I awaited the arrival of my great niece.
She’s two. Nuff said? 😉
Daddy is a soldier, he’s away right now.
Mommy had to take older brother to see his specialist, he has Downs Syndrome.
We made candy cane reindeer, coloured, and watched a Christmas show, went for a walk on the farm and then went to meet her middle brother, 6 when he got off the bus. They played while I put dinner together. Fed them and waited for Mommy to get home and had our supper.
The day didn’t end til about 8:00 pm.
It was lovely but along about 5pm I knew I would be in for it.
No big deal I will make today a quiet one.

It bothers me as my niece could really use some extra help for a while (she lives near me) but I don’t think I could do it everyday, 3 little ones from about 2pm on, without being pretty sick most of the time. Makes me feel so bad, it’s terrible too see my niece so tired. She is a full time nurse as well. But we are close, and is a nurse so she knows my struggles well. It’s a weird situation.
My husband and I also operate a small construction company and I have a home office to run. So that keeps me pretty busy too.
Any suggestions? Thanks, Tuffymason

Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 11/30/2017 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
You sure DID do a lot yesterday...too much! You have to pace yourself.

Children should not have to be entertained all of the time. They need to learn how to do things by themselves and learn how to use their imaginations. When my children were young, I had a child's table with coloring books, crayons, manilla paper, colored paper, blunt scissors, glue. puzzles, play dough, and picture books on it. They would go there to color or create things. Of course we had toys and the good old cartoons. I also would read to them and that takes very little effort. So, if your niece brought some toys over for the kids, you might be able to help. On slower days, you can do some craft with them or have them help bake cookies. And, in the not too distant future, the kids can play together and play board games too.

Now, I'm not remotely suggestion you do this every day but perhaps once or twice a week to see how it goes. This could give your niece a break. Just don't do your grocery shopping or anything else like this on the same day...at least not while the kids are so young.

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis, Ankylosing Spondylitis
************************
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Hallahan
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2014
Total Posts : 217
   Posted 11/30/2017 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
As we age it's hard to wrap our minds around the fact that we are not the person we used to be. We could multi-task, remember things better, get around better etc. etc.

I know how you feel. I would love to volunteer at church but I'm so unreliable because of the fibromyalgia.

You need to take care of yourself. You managed your life when you had children and your niece will too. Tell her you'd love to help but the fact is it takes a big toll on you.

Good grief you are helping run a family business. I call a day a success if I clean the kitchen. Or go to 2 stores when I go shopping.

Enjoy being with the children but take the easy way out and just watch videos and snuggle on the couch with them.

We do the best we can with what we have to work with now.
Barb

ncstebb
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2017
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 12/2/2017 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi hanginin. Just joined this forum and reading about experiences of other sufferers for the first time.

For me it helps a lot to know I can be a help to those I care about (and who care for me). Just like what you're doing for your niece. Don't feel bad that you aren't doing more... feel good about what you are doing, draw strength from it. My suggestion: talk to your niece about this too... maybe there are ways you can help her that will be easier on you.

All the best, Nick.

hanginin
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 12/7/2017 4:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Nick and everyone. What you say is true but it feels so unnatural.
It makes life kind of jerky, stop and start. I mean when you are going about the flow of life then suddenly
because of these pain and fatigue signals, you are stopped in your tracks and the natural flow ends to make way for doing absolutely nothing.🤔

My niece knows well what I navigate everyday and only asks for help when she knows I am doing okay, but still if I have had a day of some Christmas shopping, wrapping, getting my cards done and I am doing okay and suddenly she is in a spot and needs a little help while she goes to pick up something, I still have to decline her because I did not plan for a two and six year old in my day.😕

It bothers me that I can’t be there for her as I imagine where she is. Full time work, daddy away, Christmas is even more difficult for her with the little ones. All I can think of is how she will manage when I decline.
Her folks help too but they are older and the kids wear them out which is totLly understandable. Her sister has a little one coming up two and a brand new one! So she’s out LOL!

I have lived a different life, I was raised by traditional ways. Dad worked and Mom was home and raised us.
And as antiquated as it sounds these days I believe it is the best way, only young couples can’t have that luxury anymore. The cost of living is so ridiculous.

You know love is beautiful.....but it sure can cause lots of troubles!
Thanks, Tuffymason
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