So sorry you've had such a hard time. Stress definitely makes the pain worse for me and nightime, when I'm not moving, is the worst. Have you experimented with a lot of different kinds of pillows? I have a cervical, firm memory foam pillow, a latex pillow, a feather and a regular one. I use them differently depending on the pain - one between my legs from mid thigh to ankle, one under my head, one supporting my arm and tucked under my chin to keep my head in a good position. If my hips are really bad, I might build up the head of my bed, so I'm slightly inclined. If my neck is bad, the cervical pillow is under my neck, but sometimes that firm foam is better between my knees for the hip pain. I'm not sure how my husband fits in the bed.
I also use a lot of different non-medicinal topical creams. My favourites are sombra warming cream, cryoderm roll on (especially for my neck) and cannalife (a cannabis salve - it's canadian, not sure if it can be shipped to the states, but there are lots of non thc legal cannabis based creams out there - they don't all help, but this one is really good - I rub on my temples, jaw, neck and forehead).
A lot of people swear by hot epsom salt baths. They give temporary relief to me. Unfortunately not long lasting, but maybe right before bed and then keep a heating pad in bed with you. I hate being hot, so the heat aspect doesn't work well for me.
I so wish there was a magic pill out there. I'm like you - Motrin is that one thing that actually works for me, but they keep telling me I can't have it too often. I had breakthrough migraines last year which were hellish, so I try hard to keep it minimal, but the headaches get so intense.
funny how they keep saying fibro is not an imflammatory disease, yet the only thing that helps is antiinflammatory. sigh.