Posted 6/22/2020 1:03 AM (GMT -6)
Norah Fairchild is at her door with her fibro fist wrapped around the knob. Oh...Poindexter Pencilneck is so alluring...yet extemely geekish in a exotic kind of way. If she lets him in, he will surely hear the moans coming from her bedroom as Steede Toesnapper has been zapped severly and continues to moan about not being able to feel is tongue. Of course he deserves the pain...after fathering one of the twins that she truely believed were hers. Both of them..Dakotah and Destiny.
"How many Milky Way bars to you have in that bag?" she yells.
(the sound of the cellophane rustling while he counts the bars)
"Twenty seven...well...really twenty eight but I took a bite out of one on my gimp over here."
Hmmm...camera zooms to her face and she has a definate eyebrow lift. She twists the door knob.
"How about just throwing me the bag," she says.
"Let me in, my wonderful, precious Norah Fairchild...we shall share them in the dim light of your candle!"
Reluctantly, she opens the door. "Okay...you may enter. But please do not question me about anything you hear or see."
He comes in, and is tingling all over. Finally, he is in the place where his telescope has taken him every day for months.
"Give me the bag," she demands. He hands it to her, touching the scratchy texture of her skin on the top of her hand."
"What is it, about 90 degrees in here...Oh...it is so warm and comforting. My thermostat will only go to 85," he tells her, his eyes locked on the cashmere sock cap she is wearing. If only he could afford such luxury.
"92 degrees. Boy...these candy bars are nice and fresh. Ya know, sometimes you buy them in these huge bags and half of them are so stale they break your teeth..."
Organ music and camera zoom to Poindexter's face.
"Norah Fairchild...I KNOW everything. I know about the man who flits in and out of your life. I know about your evil sister who has betrayed you in the most unforgivable way. I know you are your own grandmother...and that you tried unsuccessfully to electrocute your on again off again lover with a heating pad. I KNOW he is in your bedroom rolling around on the floor with a numb tongue. I know, and how sad is this, that you have a cabbage and a bowling ball in two cribs next to your bed, and The Fog has made you believe these are your children...until Mr. Man told you the truth. Don't you know these people are using your fibro to trick and deceive you? I would NEVER do that to you, Norah Fairchild. I have loved you from a distance for so long..."
"Say...where DID you buy these Milky Ways. I am not kidding you...these are the best...."
Poindexter snatches the bag out of her hand. "Are you hearing me?"
She sighs and gimps over to her smoldering Fibro chair. Boy, would she like to sit in THAT now. So tired..so confused...and such a migraine. But the springs are poking out. Owie on her tender hinney.
She finds the strength to spin on her plantus facteous (I know this is spelled wrong) heels and look him in the eye. "You have been spying on me...invading my privacy. (Camera Zoom) Yet I am so...Oh, I don't know...suddenly stuck dumb by your...oh crap, what's the word...tenacity. That's it. Persistance. I like that in a man. Nice Snuggie, By the way."
"Come...let's sit, Norah Fairchild. I can help you. We can come up with a plan together....if you know what I mean. I have an uncle, who is his own sister, that knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. All I have to do is ... (organ musci)say the word."
They both drop onto her not very comfortable leather love seat. Norah tries to digest all of this. Help teaching Steede the ultimate lesson? Very tempting but so risky. She grabs the candy bars back out of his hand. They are starting to melt from the heat.
"Okay," she agrees. Let's talk.....revenge.
Fade to Black and a commercial for the stuff that erases deep set wrinkles in twenty seconds.